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... Send *ailey J a private message | | | *ailey J's profile:Hello,
My name is Bailey I live in the UK with my partner and two cats. I'm an out going bubbly girl who adores life. I’ve been through times where I thought I’d never smile again, but I got through them and here I am offering advice to the best of my knowledge in hopes it will help others in their time of need.
Any advice I give is only my opinion... I just hope it sheds light on your situation and helps a little if not a lot. I know with the best of you that life can be hard and the people around us can’t always understand what where going through and only a stranger’s advice gives hope. So if anybody needs a shoulder, I’m here ?
Take are
Bailey J
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My dad "touches" me but when I tell him no, he goes into a tantrum!
Q. Well I have had this problem since around age 12 I am 15 now. I do not like my dad touching me as he holds me like my bf on my hips want to hum him plevis to pelvis. He use to be worse by sometimes just opening the shower curtain on me and making ...
A. 12 April 2007: Hello Sweetie,
Is there no one else in your family like a grandmother or aunty you can speak to about this? Your Dad should understand that you are becoming a woman now and this behaviour is NOT acceptable. If you can’t get through to your Dad... (read in full...)
I have a low self esteem and dont hold any of myself in high regard at all!! Please help!!!
Q. I really hate my body and my low self esteem is beginning to distract me from everything else that i should be focussing on. I actually feel a constant disgust from just being in my skin, i can't look at myself in the mirror without seeing all my ...
A. 11 April 2007: You will never be able to change who you are. Try to be happy with who you are and what you look like!! Everybody has imperfections and everybody hates something about them selves. If you want to loose weight but cant stop eating I think you may ... (read in full...)
Started an affair with a married guy--any advice?
Q. I have just started an affair, I have known my husband for 12 years and been married for 10 years. We have 2 yound kids and I love them very much...however I feel that I am falling in love with this other man. I do not feel quilty at all. I don't ...
A. 11 April 2007: I’m sorry but people, who have affairs and don’t feel guilty about it, are the lowest of the low. I know you can’t help who you fall in love with but there is a better way to be together. Tell the truth. Don’t give that same old crap about how it ... (read in full...)
The age difference is 5 years and Im only 14, does this really matter ?
Q. I am 14 years old and My boy friend is 19 years old. I really like him a lot.I am very mature for my age. People dont believe that i am only 14 years old. Every guy around my age arent mature and i hate that so much so I tend to go to older guys. My ...
A. 11 April 2007: As you are 14 years old and he is 19 years old I would say that it does matter. Even though you are mature for your age you still have a lot to learn and you can only do that by growing older each year. With each year that passes you become to ... (read in full...)
He forced himself on me I asked him to stop but he just said its a laugh and I need to get a sense of humour! I cant see the funny side!?
Q. i went to meet my ex boyfriend yesterday because he wanted to talk to me so i thought if i met him outside id be safe. we went back to his house and the door was locked so we couldnt get in because he didnt have his keys. i asked him wat he wantedt ...
A. 4 April 2007: This boy raped you darling. You need to tell someone as soon as possible! I promise once you have told someone what happened you will feel better. Trust me when I say you did nothing at all wrong, you were right not to want him to do that, and you ... (read in full...)
I'm only 14, I told him I'm pregnant, He laughed at me and called me a slag, But I thought we were in love!!
Q. i have been with my boyfriend for 19 months and i feel i really love him now. i am only 14 and so when i got with him i was young and i didnt know what love was but now i feel i do. i didnt sleep with him till i became 14 because i thought i was too ...
A. 4 April 2007: Ok first don’t say get rid of it, for one it’s not the babies fault your boyfriend is an idiot and you are a silly little girl who should have taken precautions. You need to go to your own parents and tell them your situation… they will know how to ... (read in full...)
I think I had sex, but Im not sure, Im worried that Im pregnant!!
Q. i dont know if im pregnant!! but im reallyy scared after reading all these stories. i think i had sex but im not sure! if u have sex can u feel the penis go inside of u??.. i dont think it went inside but im not too sure. we didnt even use a condom. ...
A. 4 April 2007: If you have felt his penius inside you then you’ve probably had sex… did you feel any sticky fluid around your virginal area when he pulled away, if so this means he has ejaculated inside you. The first sign of being pregnant is being late on your ... (read in full...)
He's my mate and thats all I see him as, he asked me out the other day what should I say!!?
Q. i have a mate and i dont want to go out with him but he is like my best mate and i dont want to upset him. he is bisexual and i respect that i dont have a problem with that as he trusts me but he asked me out the other day what should i do???? ...
A. 4 April 2007: Hello, just be honest with your friend. Advise him that you only like him as a friend and your feelings don’t go any further than that. Make him sure that you don’t want this to ruin your friendship and you would like to carry on being good ... (read in full...)
We are looking to get back together, I've sorted my issues, but shes heistant as her family feel it would be a mistake, any advice on gaining her trust again!?
Q. My girlfriend and i of 9 years recently split up about 6 months ago. our reason for splitting was my fault as i disrespected her family, some of my actions looked as though i was unfaithful, and drank way to much.. these were repeated actions over ...
A. 3 April 2007: Maybe it would be a good idea to go and see her parents. Discuss this with them face to face. Tell them what you have done to change yourself and how much you love their daughter. If they see you have had the courage to speak with them, they might ... (read in full...)
We are looking to get back together, I've sorted my issues, but shes heistant as her family feel it would be a mistake, any advice on gaining her trust again!?
Q. My girlfriend and i of 9 years recently split up about 6 months ago. our reason for splitting was my fault as i disrespected her family, some of my actions looked as though i was unfaithful, and drank way to much.. these were repeated actions over ...
A. 3 April 2007: The only way you can gain some ones trust again is by being patient with there decisions. If she is hesitant tell her that no matter how long it takes for her and her family to trust you, you will wait. Advise her that if this means not jumping back ... (read in full...)
Im considering becoming a prostitute as I fear its the only way out of my debt!!
Q. I'm so desperate for money right now, I owe so much out, I've been having thoughts that my only way out is prostitution. I really don't want to do this, is there any way round this? I need money asap and really have no other choice. Is it dangerous ...
A. 3 April 2007: I have been in debt before, no matter how much you owe if you ring them up and tell them that you can only pay this off in monthly instalments. (THEY HAVE TO ACCEPT) If you say that you can only affored to pay £30 off each month on each debt they ... (read in full...)
From the age of 7 I have had sex with my brother!!! I now think he loves his wife more than me and its killing me!!
Q. I had a sexual relation with my brother since 7 years at that time both of us were not married. I got married 4years ago and am having a child. my brother got married an year back and his wife too is expecting now. He stays far off from me and ...
A. 2 April 2007: Do you realise how sick that is… he’s your BROTHER. It doesn’t matter how much you love him, its incest!!! I think you both need help, you mostly… you need to speak with a professional, someone who can help you with this disgusting act you and your ... (read in full...)
From the age of 7 I have had sex with my brother!!! I now think he loves his wife more than me and its killing me!!
Q. I had a sexual relation with my brother since 7 years at that time both of us were not married. I got married 4years ago and am having a child. my brother got married an year back and his wife too is expecting now. He stays far off from me and ...
A. 2 April 2007: Do you realise how sick that is… he’s your BROTHER. It doesn’t matter how much you love him, its incest!!! I think you both need help, you mostly… you need to speak with a professional, someone who can help you with this disgusting act you and your ... (read in full...)
Is it wrong to sleep with your first cousin ?
Q. i have left my husband and son and am sleeping with my first cousin,i have my teenage daughter with me and am living just a few yards from my husband and son.my son is very upset and thinks he and his sister will get a lot of bullying form other ...
A. 2 April 2007: I’m sorry my love, no this is not right. They call this incest. If you get caught pregnant this could course your child to be severally retarded or be born with down syndrome.
Its up to you to carry on though as long as you have no children... (read in full...)
Im 17, she wont be 16 for 2 months, she wants to have sex, should we or should we wait ?
Q. I am 17 and my girl friend is 2 months away from being 16 and she wants to have sex. i think we should wait a while but she dose not want to wait. I am not going to lie I want to do. What should I do. ...
A. 2 April 2007: Even though the legal age to have sex is 16 it depends on the person. Some young girls/boys do have sex before they reach the legal age. If you feel you are ready and you understand about contraception and STD’s then it’s your choice together as a ... (read in full...)
Everytime she goes out I wonder....
Q. Hi I've been seeing my girlfriend for around 9 months now and we've had issues with trust and respect which I've sought advice on here before relating to her past. http://www.dea...
A. 2 April 2007: It sounds to me that your girlfriend is very immature when drinking alcohol. She sounds like a young teenager who has just started going out too bars ect…
In a relationship if you don’t have trust you don’t have a relationship. You can however ... (read in full...)
I want to try for another baby but Im scared, and also worried that it would be betraying my sons memory!?
Q. Hello some of you may remember me as I have posted a few questions before. Me and my boyfriend have been through a rough year, to the point where I thought I didn’t love him anymore. Well after a lot of talks we decided to be together as we a...
A. 30 March 2007: I have changed my mind on a lot of things, this is true but i have been one hell of a road... my head has been so messed up... i thought my heart was breaking... i'm only asking if having another baby will somehow be like pushing Bailey out and i ... (read in full...)
Im only 11, but I love 2 guys, and dont know if they love me to be able to choose which one to go out with!?
Q. hi cupid im 11 years old and i live in florida im in elementry, in 5th grade. there are 2 guys i both love but i don't know if they love me and the problem is i don't know who to choose i both like them but i have a BIG choice both are cute ...
A. 30 March 2007: Darling… you’re a little too young to be dating but I bet its frustrating when you say your in love and everybody keeps telling you your too young to know what love is! Well I’m going to give you the advice that I would give anybody else… But you ... (read in full...)
How do I accept the difference between men and women ?
Q. I have fallen in to this vicious circle that prevents me from relating with women. I generally judge them first and most of the times, i realize that i could not trust them. As i cannot trust them, i keep judging them to the extent of demeaning them ...
A. 30 March 2007: What’s the reason for you not trusting women find this out and your on your way to sorting you situation out! Have you been hurt by a woman? is it because of the way you have been brought up? Is it that you feel inadequate when alone with a woman? ... (read in full...)
Met a guy off the internet, was it just all about the sex for him ?
Q. I met up with a guy of the net about 3 weeks ago. The chemistry between us was crazy and we ended up kissing on the first meeting. Second meeting we ended up having a one night stand, except I left in the middle of the nite because he didnt want to ...
A. 30 March 2007: Darling… you’ve been used! Yes it sounds like it was all about sex, that’s all he wanted. Your not the first girl and wont be the last to have been used.
What you need to do is protect yourself! Don’t have sex with anyone on a first, second, ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend hates me wearing make up!
Q. My boyfriend is having problems with me putting on make up. He said he doesn’t want me to get my make up on him and he thinks real beauty should not be created with make up. He doesn’t even like lip balm when I kiss him. It actually stops us from ...
A. 30 March 2007: Hello.
Never let a man tell you that you can’t wear makeup. Tell him this is who you are and he should respect that you feel good when you wear makeup, toe polish ect… its all part of being a woman. Don’t stop just because he dislikes it… Tell... (read in full...)
Why does he tell me he loves me one minute then 4 days later, wants nothing more to do with me???
Q. I recently split with my boyfriend of three years as he cheated on me and he begged me to take him back, i said no. He then said can we at least be friends as it would break his heart if we couldn't. Then for days later he told me he had met someone ...
A. 30 March 2007: One word MEN. We’ll never understand them. My friend is going through a similar thing with her fella. They been together 18 months and he’s been telling her he doesn’t love her but doesn’t want to break up… he spends all his time with his friends ... (read in full...)
What did I do to my kids that they ditched me here?
Q. hello An old man told me I have worked hard for my family, I have done everything for them to have a good life and now I am old, I can't do that much and I need help. Nobody helps me, the kids are busy with life and I am here lonely in eldery h...
A. 30 March 2007: It breaks my heart… I don’t agree with nursing homes… I used to work in one. All the elderly are depressed in them… their not happy. People put them there because it easier… there out of the way!!!
When I was working in one particular nursing ... (read in full...)
Why are 11-13 year old kids talking of dating and sexual contact???
Q. hello It might be I am wrong or I came from mars but it is so tragic to see 11 to 13 years old kids are dating and talking about sexual contact? Where are the families? Why don't they look after their kids? thank you...
A. 30 March 2007: I don’t think its all on the parents. Parents get blamed for everything these days. Society needs to stand up and bloody well take the blame.
The way we live today is how we build our children’s future. Instead of pointing the finger why don’t yo... (read in full...)
Hes fab and hes keen to take me on some dates, but hes bisexual, what if he gets bored of me and wants a guy!?
Q. Hey I met this wonderfull guy he is funny,adorable,gorgeous,beautiful and so sincere but he is bisexual and I have fallen in love with him and I told him that I loved him and he was blown away but this. We are good friends and he said he wants to ...
A. 30 March 2007: Ok… well first you need to go on a few dates and get to know each other better (just like he suggested)
When thinking about a 3some you need to be 100% happy with it. Don’t just do it to make someone else happy. 1/ you’re going to be intimate... (read in full...)
The pregnancy test showed two lines really faintly! Im 9 days late, could I be pregnant!?
Q. I had unprotected sex two weeks ago, I am nauseous, I smell everything, by breast are a little bigger but not sore. My period is 9 days late. I took pregnancy test a very very faint line makes me question if it is really there, but when I held it ...
A. 30 March 2007: Hello
It seems that way darling… Go see your doctor he/she will tell you for certain.
Take Care ... (read in full...)
Im a recent victim of a racist attack, I'm scared and traumatised, should I see a proffesional ?
Q. I live in a country where racism is supposed to be a thing of the past but is still an issue. I have recently been a victim of a racist attack and it has left me traumatised and scared to go any where. Should i see a professional therapist?...
A. 30 March 2007: Hello,
I suggest you see a councillor or someone you can talk to about your fear and anxiety. I’m very sorry you have to go through this… I don’t understand racism. I don’t know what makes someone so evil that they have to make someone’s life hel... (read in full...)
My current BF has become uncomfortbale with me seeing my Ex, hes making me choose!!
Q. I have an ex bf whom I am friends with. We talk on the phone sometimes and have dinner or coffee sometimes. We have not been a couple for 6yrs. My current bf whom I have been with for 9months has a problem with my friendship with my ex. He feels ...
A. 29 March 2007: An Ex is someone in your past!! Someone who you shared yourself intimately and physically. I can see why your current boyfriend has a problem with it. When you start and new relationship your ex has to be your past.. They’re no longer your future! ... (read in full...)
Shes happy giving me a hand job, I want to take things further but she pushes me away, when's a good time ?
Q. my girlfriend and i have been dateing for 2 months now and shes started to give me hand jobs and so i figured it would be ok to finger her but when i put my hand close to her she moves it but she lets me suck her boobs. what do i do wait for her to ...
A. 29 March 2007: The best thing to do is wait for her… she may not be ready. Don’t pressure her, make her see that no matter what your relationship is more important than sex. The time will come and it will be worth the wait.
Take Care
... (read in full...)
4 years ago his girlfriend killed herself, Hes still hurting over it, how can I help him, I truly love him!
Q. I love my boyfriend very much but he has a problem I genuinly don't know how to help him with. 4 years ago, his girlfriend killed herself and we have just gone past her anniversary recently, which has really got to him. He still feels like he co...
A. 29 March 2007: I know how you feel, a little. My boyfriend’s mother killed herself 3 years ago. My boyfriend has never really dealt with his grief because everyday is different for him. One day his misses her and loves her, next he’s angry and hates her. 3 years ... (read in full...)
Why do I want to run the other way, when I find out a guy likes me?
Q. whenever I like a guy and I find out he likes me to I want to run a mile! I dont like the thought of other people knowing my feelings. what does this mean and how can I get around it? Because im fed up of being alone and i really want to get over my ...
A. 27 March 2007: Insecurity is not something people can help you with. It comes from within you. First you need to find the reasons of why you can’t handle people liking you. If you cant get close to people, find out what’s stopping you. You will find the answers. ... (read in full...)
When my nipples are touched I feel really wierd! Could this be due to something that happend when I was younger ?
Q. I know this may sound wierd but please dont laugh. Whenever I touch my nipples i feel overwhelmingly depressed or sad and I feel like every thing is wrong and I often feel a bit sick. Do you think this feeling could be from something that happened ...
A. 27 March 2007: Everybody feels different when this happens.. this sounds crazy but I feel tired and thirsty... everybody reacts differently too it, but it wont be something from your past I doubt... unless its mental. i.e. if something happened to you in your ... (read in full...)
Why cant I have 2 wives if both women love me!?
Q. why i cant have 2 wifes if both woman loves me and i love them , and who made that law for us and what is the sense of it? as we all know that woman get another kind of feelings and therefor man and woman fall in love and make a new life and they ...
A. 27 March 2007: The whole point in getting married is declaring your love to just one man or woman. Its about making a sacrifice to them, saying there are thousands of man/women in the world but I love you, and only you. If you love two women then it’s not truly ... (read in full...)
I'm15-can my 33 year old bf get into trouble with the law for kissing me?
Q. Hey! im 15 and my partner is 33. we met 2 years ago and he told me that he is in love with me.i love him as well.and dont say i dont know what love is,because i do!! Last May,my mum and dad found out their was something going on between me and him ...
A. 26 March 2007: Girl, he is way to old for you. Yes he can get into trouble weather you are having sex or not. The reason for this…. You were 13 when you started a relationship and he was 31, that’s 13 year age difference.
Even though you are in love and you ... (read in full...)
I cheated and the guilt is killing me!!
Q. I cheated and the guilt is killing me. I was away on business, my fiancee and young baby at home. Me and my ex met up for a drink, literally to say hello and see how eachother was getting on. We had a few too many, and as i hadn't yet booked a hot...
A. 26 March 2007: What you did was not good. Adultery/cheating are inexcusable! Once a partner has cheated the trust in a relationship is gone forever. People may forgive but never forget. You feel guilty and that’s good but you now have to make a decision. Do you ... (read in full...)
Since we broke up I've slept with 3 people, he knows about 1, should I tell him about the other 2 now we're back together?
Q. My boyfriend and I went out for 3 years... we split up for one year and kept getting together on and off. Now we are seeing how things go getting back together. While we were broken up I slept with 3 people, one of which he knows about... do i tell ...
A. 20 March 2007: No, it will cause more pain and anger. Plus it will give him ammunition when you argue. Keep it to your self he doesn’t need to know. ... (read in full...)
How can I get on with my life and be happy like he is?
Q. we had been together for 5 yrs we lived together for 2 years before i got married before we was married i fell pregnant i got married in the july and ad the baby in oct and i found out he bin cheating i kicked him out in the january its bin a yr now ...
A. 20 March 2007: Love is the hardest thing. You cant love someone and just get over some who you’ve been with for so long. Its natural to bee feeling hurt… He betrayed you!! But the best thing to does is leave him behind, your better off without a cheating partner!! ... (read in full...)
Why does she always agree to meet up and then never show!?
Q. dear readers im currently having a problem with a girl. i met her online and we talk when ever shes on and also talk to her on the phone aswell. i have asked her to meet up with her and she goes yes but then never shows up and comes up with ex...
A. 19 March 2007: Don’t put all your eggs in one basket honey. Don’t let anyone put you down for the way you look. You are you and you should be proud of that. So you haven’t found the right girl yet, trust me she's out there its just a matter of waiting.
For t... (read in full...)
My best friend keeps flirting with My bf!! How can I make her stop!?
Q. well ive been going out with my boyfriend for nearly two months. My so called best friend keeps flirting with him and its getting on my nerves to say the least!! i comfronted her about it and she said i like flirting with him and im not gonna sto...
A. 19 March 2007: Your BF must not text her back. This will lead her on. He needs to tell her exactly where she stands. You need to tell her she a shity friend if she cant except that he’s your boyfriend, and that you want nothing more to do with her. (you don’t need ... (read in full...)
Shes 19, had at least 15 sexual partners, I think shes easy and this bothers me, is it worth sticking at a relationship ?
Q. hi im 21 and have been going out with my GF(19) for about 4 months now. I really like her personality and i think she is a great person. However she has had sex/"done stuff" with 15 other guys and its really killing me. Most of these were one night ...
A. 19 March 2007: Hello. Your GF’s past sexual partners has nothing to do with you. Just because she’s had some one night stands it doesn’t make her easy. It the typical scenario a guy sleeps with 10 girls and he's a king, a girl does the same and she's easy.
... (read in full...)
Why does she always agree to meet up and then never show!?
Q. dear readers im currently having a problem with a girl. i met her online and we talk when ever shes on and also talk to her on the phone aswell. i have asked her to meet up with her and she goes yes but then never shows up and comes up with ex...
A. 19 March 2007: I think maybe it’s because you met on line. She maybe thinking of the dangers of meeting up with someone you have met on the internet or she could have told some lies, such as the way she looks or what kind of person and family she is from. She ... (read in full...)
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