A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I met up with a guy of the net about 3 weeks ago. The chemistry between us was crazy and we ended up kissing on the first meeting. Second meeting we ended up having a one night stand, except I left in the middle of the nite because he didnt want to get caught by his flatmate letting a girl stay over!! My question is "is he intrested in me or not, or was it jus sex!"?? And who the hell kicks someone out after sex?? The only means of communication we have had is MSN, which is always a limited conversation. He doesnt ring or txt. Ive asked him out for a meal/cinema since the one night stand and he has said he would love to but cant due to work commitments. Oh and Who works from 9am to midnight every day during week days?!!!
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flatmate, kissing, msn, one night stand, the internet Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2007): Heya, Ok so you met up with a guy on the net about 3 weeks ago. The chemistry between you was crazy (I’m sure it was) So you ended up kissing on the first meeting.You see Hun it should have ended there, and by the Second meeting you really shouldn’t have ended up having a one-night stand, It gets even worse he didn’t even have pillow talk with you? he’s shown no signs of treating you decently because you left in the middle of the night because he didn’t want to get caught by his flatmate letting a girl stay over?Your question is "is he interested in me or not, or was it just sex!"?? Unfortunately I think you can answer the rest yourself And ask yourself again who the hell kicks someone out after sex?? Someone who’s date showed that she didn’t demand to be respected what is left to do now?Learn from this!! Its heartbreaking I know I’ve been there first of all listen to power women songs bring on Elkie Brooks-No more the foolSugababes- Hole in the headOk you get the picture sweetie,And take heed your body is a sacred thing that only a man who loves you sends shivers down you spine and wants to give all the love in the world and in his heart deserves, how will you get this kind of love? With your attitude, don’t txt or message back a man who does txt you first,Don’t return his calls sometimes have your own life,most importantly when his behavior isn’t respectful you tell him in a calm way and leave with your head held high in the long this is a better to deal with men,guys can make huge mistakes they are quite baffled by women who stand up for themselves in a sweet kind but direct way they end up being the adored ones they take care of themselves and sometimes put there own happiness before there man which is acceptable,Men do it all the time, for example the new attitude Ladydys man is out for the night so she goes to salsa dancing he calls her man: “I’m staying out with the boys babe keep the bed warm for me?”woman: “Sorry baby after salsa I’m going for drinks with the girls and staying out don’t wait up for me Love you” so even when you catch him this attitude will keep him, Stay strong find a new interest go out with your Girl-friend’s to bars let your hair down who knows what will happen, don’t have a one-night stand if you after real love! Not cyber sex meet guy’s in bars it sooooo much better! I hope I’ve helped and I hope I haven’t been too blunt but I’m so girl power over these things, Let me know how it goes. p.s. If that Jerk calls for more sex tell him to piss off, Lol! good luck ;) x x
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2007): Hi this is the person who posted the original message...thankyou so much everyone, all the advice is very much appreciated. It was a stupid thing to do, but hey like most of u have said its a learning process.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 March 2007): I have to agree with the other Aunts. Forget about him-it looks exactly as though that's exactly what this cad was doing-he was using you. You might have thought sex was a precursor to a deeper, emotional relationship but he didn't feel the same. There are those people in the world that are not good for others. He's one of them. These people are experts at romancing/bedding others-but having sex is no indicator of their love or caring. Some men are wired differently this way. Sex will drive the heart and a woman's emotions. Guys can have sex because they like it..sometimes they don't care with whom, as long as they get what they want. I have to even say, there are females that do this, as well. What empty, lost, sad people. Look at the people they hurt just for that elusive orgasm. What is vitally important, though, is don't blame yourself. He has poor character and you are better off without people who take you down like this. Treat this as a learning experience and nothing more. It's so important to make a positive out of this sad experience. You learn and grow from each negative experience and that is what is called clarity, a new perspective, growth and maturity for you. We have all been where you have. So-just remember that people who are into sex before they've formed a good, solid relationship are probably not going to be committed, lasting partners. And he's definitely not it. To them sex is just that..sex. You're definitely not to blame for how he acts and please realize, many guys aren't like him. What you could learn from this, is to treat dating as a selection process, go slow, keep your wits about you and make certain that you and a potential bf both share the same values, interests and ethics. Keep your self-respect and don't sleep with guys right out of the starting gate. Make sure they respect you and care about you. So I suggest, if you date a guy and he pressures you for sex on the 2nd-3rd date, he is not showing you respect. Dump him because then he's probably not interested in you or a future. Then you know-he's not worth wasting time on and this is your cue to bow out before you get more hurt. You are so worth more that that aren't you. Mature, smart adults make choices, commit to relationships, and someday, they even marry. Only open your heart, body and emotions to the ultimate intimacy with the one you love and you are certain they love you. There are many wonderful, good men out there looking for a woman who will be friend, lover, and life-mate. Just make sure you don’t make a habit of being so available to jump in the sack, so quickly. I don't care how handsome or charming the guy is. If he's ugly within, you don't want him. Look out for yourself and learn to discriminate the players from the great guys. Take Care my dear and remember.Be selective and have fun!
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reader, AskEve +, writes (30 March 2007):
 Jeeeeeezus, how humiliating for you! He should never have taken you back to his flat if his flatmate wasn't going to be pleased. This was an excuse though and I'm sure you know that now. The mistake you made here was sleeping with him so quickly. Why do people always jump in with both feet BEFORE getting to know the other person more? You gave him what he wanted so the challenge for him has gone now. He picked you up, slept with you and threw you away, that's what it amounts to! Learn from it!!!
Make sure with the next guy you meet, you hold back from sleeping with him so quickly no matter how good the chemistry! Forget him, he's probably already chatting his next conquest up!
Eve
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female
reader, Bailey J +, writes (30 March 2007):
 Darling… you’ve been used! Yes it sounds like it was all about sex, that’s all he wanted. Your not the first girl and wont be the last to have been used.
What you need to do is protect yourself! Don’t have sex with anyone on a first, second, third, fourth…….. date! This to a guy makes you easy even though you may not be… in the future if you meet someone go out on dates first, try not to meet someone on the internet – try going out with friends!! Always make sure that you are cirtain the person you are going to sleep with cares about you… then that why no one can use you.
And this thing you slept with… he aint worth it… don’t txt or ring him or email even… just loose contact with him altogether to deserve better!!
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reader, Wendyg +, writes (30 March 2007):
 Honey, you have answered your own question! He was infact just after the sex, but didnt have the decency to tell you.
He is being evasive and all the rest, and if he really wanted to see you again, I think he would have. hes just playing it down till you get fed up and move on... but well hes being polite with it... At least hes still in contact with you.. so hes not a total bastard hey! LOL the schmuck!
Ive been caught out like this before, and that instance, I didnt hear from the guy ever again, although previous to that things were like fantastic! You never can tell what someones like!
We learn the hard way often I'm afraid. Life is but a learning curve and we take what we learn along the way, to make us wiser, more confident and stronger.
Dont worry not all guys from online are like that, there are some genuine ones out there too!
Take Care x x
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