A
male
age
51-59,
*oobooboots
writes:HiI've been seeing my girlfriend for around 9 months now and we've had issues with trust and respect which I've sought advice on here before relating to her past.http://www.dearcupid.org/question/my-gf-has-been-very-graphic-about-her.html http://www.dearcupid.org/question/how-can-i-tell-if-my-gf-is.htmlhttp://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-didnt-have-sex-w--her-b.htmlAnyway, her problem in the past is that when she has too much drink she makes herself easy... last weekend we went drinking with some friends and ended up in a club. She had too much to drink, like everyone else, but I caught her at the bar "grinding" herself against a guy. Obviously I went mad etc which cut her short (i don't know what would have happened had i not been there!) but after we calmed down the next day she said that she was in such a state that she didnt know what she was doing. She says that she doesnt want to jeopordise our relationship.I know that everytime she goes out to a club with friends and she has too much to drink, I'm gonna be wondering if she's doing the same thing. The trust which has always been an issue is really low now... how can she rebuild it? Or would you finish it if you were in my position?
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male
reader, boobooboots +, writes (2 April 2007):
boobooboots is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the responses... guess my problem is that in order to rebuild her trust, i've got to let her go out and proof it to me. Then again, if something DID happen while she was out drinking, I don't think that she'd be honest with me, or even remember it!!!
A
female
reader, Bailey J +, writes (2 April 2007):
 It sounds to me that your girlfriend is very immature when drinking alcohol. She sounds like a young teenager who has just started going out too bars ect…
In a relationship if you don’t have trust you don’t have a relationship. You can however earn trust back… this is something you need to discuss with your girlfriend.
Tell her that she no longer drinks to the excess of not knowing what she’s doing… and for the time being until you can trust her again, not go out as much. If she declines this then I’m afraid you will always have this problem, and my advice would be to end the relationship… if she accepts then try to re-build the trust in your relationship.
Best of luck x
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007): First speak to her about how much this is bothering you and make it clear this is not something your gonna tolerate. If she keeps doing it i would seriously consider moving on...do u really wanna keep dealing with this?!
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A
male
reader, ChiRaven  +, writes (2 April 2007):
 Your lady obvious has a serious problem with alcohol. Some people do. Try to get her to recognize this and to get help for it. Unfortunately about the only thing that helps is a program that includes "staying dry" for good. That's tough for a lot of people to handle. But if she does it now, she'll be a lot happier than if she does if AFTER booze has managed to wreck her relationship with you along with the rest of her life.
Be gentle, loving, and firm. Get her the help she needs.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 April 2007): Hi
I am unsure how old you and your girlfriend are as this could pose a problem if she is very young and still wants to experiment and have fun and not be tied down in a relationship. however if she is a respectable woman who cares deeply for you the way she says she does then she would not "grind" up against any man other than you so as to not cause issues in your relationship. Alcohol, i believe, does not make you do anything drunk that you would not do sober. You need to sit her down, be calm and rational and explain what you want from her in terms of your relationship.This way you will be able to see if you both want the same things or if you are going in different directions.
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