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My current BF has become uncomfortbale with me seeing my Ex, hes making me choose!!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships, Trust issues<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (29 March 2007) 6 Answers - (Newest, 30 March 2007)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have an ex bf whom I am friends with. We talk on the phone sometimes and have dinner or coffee sometimes. We have not been a couple for 6yrs. My current bf whom I have been with for 9months has a problem with my friendship with my ex. He feels that my ex has other motives with the friendship. Over a year ago my ex did kiss me. I told him we were just friends and I did not think we should kiss. Well...my issue is this...My current bf has become so uncomfortable with mine and my ex's friendship that he has asked mt to cut my ex out fo my life. Basically asked me to choose him or my friendship with my ex? What should I do?

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A female reader, elsie United Kingdom +, writes (30 March 2007):

elsie agony aunti totally agree with your boyfriend.while there nothing wrong with saying hi to an ex or a quick chat to see how there doing having your own seperate times out is totally out of order.you once slept with this person.whats to say you wont switch back on one day and do it again(like you say youve already kissed)?.its human nature to feel threatened by the situation you are in.that why we close one door and open another.it gets confusing when we leave the past open.that is what you are doing.personally i think your fella deserves a medal for his patience.i think if you love him you will respect him like hes respecting you.

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A female reader, Silence is Golden United Kingdom +, writes (29 March 2007):

i totally agree with your boyfriend. If you were in his shoes and he started going for coffees etc with his ex girlfriend, then i dont think you would like it either. BUT on the other hand he should trust you enough to know that your intentions are honourable and that he can trust you. I also feel that if your ex really cared about you then he would stay out of the picture to give you the chance to build a happier life.

" once something is broken, it doesnt matter how many times you try to fix it, it will NEVER be the same again".

i hope everything works out for you. Good luck!

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A female reader, sexseahot United States +, writes (29 March 2007):

sexseahot agony auntI would probably be doing the same thing your bf is doing. I wouldn't appreciate my boyfriend going off with his ex on occasions. I agree that your ex is part of your PAST and your bf should be part of your FUTURE. Which guy means more to you and that you can't live without? That is the question you need to ask yourself. When you know the answer to that, you'll know exactly who to pick!

GOOD LUCK!!!

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A female reader, Bailey J United Kingdom +, writes (29 March 2007):

Bailey J agony auntAn Ex is someone in your past!! Someone who you shared yourself intimately and physically. I can see why your current boyfriend has a problem with it. When you start and new relationship your ex has to be your past.. They’re no longer your future! Take in to consideration how you would feel if your current boyfriend was seeing his ex, how would you feel? Relationships are about sacrifices, can you scarify spending time with your ex for the person your with now… if not you have to ask yourself if you still have feelings for your ex and is your boyfriend the right guy for you!!

Take Care

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A male reader, DAPARCH Jamaica +, writes (29 March 2007):

DAPARCH agony auntI would ask you to choose most definately. what's the reason for you seeing your ex anyway. Old fire stick easy fi catch. You need to reassure your man that he is the one. respect his needs if not bring him to a place of comfort somehow.

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A female reader, cd206 United Kingdom +, writes (29 March 2007):

cd206 agony auntWell it seems there are other things that could be tried before having to make a choice. Why not inlude your boyfriend on your next date with your ex. Then he can see there's no ulterior motive or anything going on. If that's not an option then I guess you need to choose which man is more important to you.

CD

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