A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I really hate my body and my low self esteem is beginning to distract me from everything else that i should be focussing on. I actually feel a constant disgust from just being in my skin, i can't look at myself in the mirror without seeing all my imperfections and how horrible i look. I am trying to excercise but then i start eating too much food and then i feel guilty and stress more and my whole day pretty much consists of this. I'm in my senior year of school though and really need to be focussed on studying. I want to build up greater confidence in myself and get over this so i can focus on normal things but i don't know how, especially as i am not the type of person that likes to express how i'm feeling to friends family, or even a psychologist for support, that just isn't an option for me. So any advice on what i can do?
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male
reader, Royofthe Rovers  +, writes (11 April 2007):
 Putting yourself down like this can end up going round in circles and you will end up running yourself into a dark place. Its natural to see the obvious things you dont like about yourself; your hair, your skin, etc....But without sounding cliched, it is really what is in the inside what counts. Looks change, hair grows, skin can improve; what is inside you is true and you should learn to appriciate that side of you more.
You sound like a reasonable person, so dont discount these things you are looking past. Friends and family are your life line, whether you want to believe it or not. I dont have a great relationship with my family, but when life recently got REALLY dark for me, who was there? My family and friends. Don't discount them too easily.
Counselling is ALWAYS an option. Its nothing to be ashamed about, and talking to someone will always eleviate some, not all of the pressure building up in you head. I can relate to your inability to express your feelings, but when you are spiralling dowwards you have to vent some of these feelings out. Your friends AND family might surprise you. You have the ability to change things for the better, start today and talk to someone or even write them a letter explaining your feelings.
Goodluck with everything..
A
female
reader, beanie0216  +, writes (11 April 2007):
 I know how you feel, because I'm kind of in the same situation. I suggest going on Weight Watchers, or a diet that fits your schedule. It's real easy and it works. I lost 10 pounds once. Now I have a bf for a year and i gained all I lost and more because all we do is watch movies and eat, but Ive decided that I can't stand the way I look and I hate the stretchmarks etc, how I dont feel pretty or sexy anymore, it does affect a lot, so I'm doing something about it. Im working on eating salads and weight watchers, lean cuisine, stoffers, stuff like that. Proportioning really helps as well. You need a lot of will power to do this! Good Luck!!
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A
female
reader, penta +, writes (11 April 2007):
 Try this site:
http://www.utexas.edu/student/cmhc/booklets/selfesteem/selfest.html
It has some great suggestions for improving self-esteem.
It has these three steps (with examples):
* Step 1: Rebut the Inner Critic
* Step 2: Practice Self-Nurturing
* Step 3: Get Help from Others
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, Bailey J +, writes (11 April 2007):
 You will never be able to change who you are. Try to be happy with who you are and what you look like!! Everybody has imperfections and everybody hates something about them selves. If you want to loose weight but cant stop eating I think you may need to see a councillor, depression can cause you to eat!! Talking to someone will most defiantly help you. People can talk with you and offer you advice but the only person who can change you is you!! The only person who can truly help is you. Try and not focus on your imperfections but change them to what makes you happy.
Take Care
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2007): It seems to me that you are automatically ruling out your options before even trying them. Your friends and family are those closest to you and are your best support system. They are the ones who know you best. A psychologist deals with many patients with the same types of problems as you do. Are you sure you want to pass over your best sources of help to seek advice from strangers who know nothing about you? Your behavior is a continuous vicious cycle that you will not be able to get out of without help. It is a very good start though that you have already realized that you do need to get out of it and have attempted some steps at doing so. Many people in your situation do seek clinical help and only manage to get through it because their friends and family are there to support them every day. They are the ones who will be able to see when you are repeating negative behavior and will steer you away from it. My best advice is for you to start sharing your feelings with someone, anyone that you can trust and who has a close relationship to you. Please consider this and the option of seeking professional counseling. Best wishes for a full emotional recovery.
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