A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:Hi i have been with my husband for 25 years a while ago he was having a bath i went into the bathroom he did nt hear me enter and he jumped up and i saw that he had a hard on he tried to cover it but i know what i saw.Aked him if he was masturbating he denied it and said he never has only when he was a kid (we have been going though a rough time i caught him lying and cheating on me)he then asked me if i do so i was honest with him and told him i have been masturbating nearly every day even though we have sex at least 4-5 times a week but when i am doing it i am thinking of the other women he has been with am i sick?And is he telling the truth that he never does as i read in an earlier post that all men do? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): Briliant answer from the female anonymous below- the last sentence sums things up perfectly! All the other answers seemed to think you have an issue over him masturbating, when clearly the issue is whether he is lying about not doing, since most men do.(and based on your recent past, i'm not surprised that you're wary of him telling lies!)Maybe getting involved in activities such as sucking/ playing whilst he masturbates, or doing so together, would give you an idea of whether he is telling the truth or not- based on how practised and comfortable he is with his part in this- and also be a whole lot of fun!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): Somehow, I missed the part about you masturbating everyday and thinking of the women he cheated with...I don't know how I could've missed that!
But I agree with the others...how can that turn you on? I don't get that at all. I really wish you could explain that. I know how it feels to be cheated on and I know how it feels to be turned on, but for the life of me, I can't connect those two emotions to reach a common goal!!!!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): I'm 25 male and never masturbate. Only oonce over phone sex with my wife have i succesfully done it back when I was 19 yrs old.
Can't seem to pleasure myself...jus feels weird. tho I'm a crazy nympho!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): I guess it is not the possibility of him masturbating that is disturbing you. It is the possibility of him lying to you.. right? There is room to give him the benefit of doubt. Men can have erections without reason even when they are not really aroused. He was just embarrassed that you saw it I think. And you are not sick. In my opinion, nothing in sex is sick. Certain things are considered sick by one group of people while another group of people think nothing of them. No need to police your own thoughts as long as it is not about hurting someone.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): Ok so you got past the fact that he cheated on you but you have a problem with him masturbating? And you yourself do it? I dont think that masturbating while thinking of him with other women is the most healthy thing for you. I agree with the answers below, maybe you should seek some marital counseling and get the the bottom of this so you can find out the real issue here. And in answer to your question, I dont know if ALL men do it but every man I have even known does. Good luck with this, I hope you can work this out.
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A
male
reader, previasc96  +, writes (9 March 2009):
Not all men masturbate. Some men can't get turned on enough by them selves to reach a climax manually. You are a little weird though... why are you getting yourself off thinking of your husband's extra marital affairs? Where you not hurt when you found out about them? Maybe you'd like to watch him make love to another woman then.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): I agree with the previous answers! Let it go! Masturbation is a private, intimate moment with oneself! For some reason (maybe upbringing) he wants to keep it that way!
Masturbation is not cheating. Don't think of it as such. Don't confuse it with his previous strayings!
Perhaps if you tried it yourself, you would understand and enjoy it!
Good Luck!
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A
male
reader, Helpful_In_Ohio +, writes (9 March 2009):
 Well think on this about masterbation.
Guys think of sex every 35 sec. whether he knows it or not !
you tell me if you have sex on the brain that much every day could you not masterbate?
99.9999999 percent of the male population masterbates wether they want to admit it or not. ( most Lie about never doing it ) so with that in mind i cant say anything but come on dont materbate LOL That's a joke.
Men lie about the most trivial things so you think what you want but I knwo better ! ! !
If it walks like a duck , and quacks like a duck , Its a DUCK ! ! ! !
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A
male
reader, ArmyMedic +, writes (9 March 2009):
 It's hard to tell if he is lying although I suspect he is. Because you have an active sex life it is unlikely he'd have wet dreams.
If you have walked in on him in the bath with an erection, likely hood is he was masturbating, but this is an embarrassing topic for most men as, we have been brought up to believe it is wrong, rude, will make you blind, burn in hell etc!
Some people who give advise on here still say that masturbation is wrong in the eyes of god (utter rubbish)
I think even if he does masturbate, don't push it, he isn't harming anyone and is probably just embarrassed.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): I think that you have issues with your husband being a sexual person, so what if he masturbates? You are having sex 4 - 5 times a week so obviously he is highly sexed. Stop harassing him about masturbating, you are making him feel guilty for something that is natural! Your reaction when you caught him should have been something like " can I not suck you while you masturbate???" It also sounds like you are not coming to terms with his cheating however long ago it was... go and see a counsellor to sort out your trust issues.
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