A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have this friend I have not seen in years and we had a get together at his girlfriends house. His girlfriend is divorced with a son and my old friend lets call him Sam is divorced and has a son. But to get to my question, I don't like the way he disciplines his son and his girlfriends son. This is what happened. First the girlfriends little boy he puts in time out for touching his car and says mean things to him like he don't listen. (he's 7) Then at dinner he started talking to us and he told the little boy to shut up no one was talking to him and that he dose not talk when adults are talking, He can only talk if he is spoken too. (I let this slide what can I do it's not my son or family) anyways later his own son gets in trouble for being tired and wanting to go inside and sleep(he is 5) The little boy trys to sneek into the house to sleep and Sam caught him and yelled at this kid for like 20 min saying "where did you go, did i say you could leave look at me when i'm talking, you better not be crying" and made the little boy after a 20 min lecture put his noise in the corner and hold his ears. Then the girlfriend tells the little boy to come and take his bath and he follows her and Sam screams "did I say you could leave" ! Ok i'm biting my tounge and really wanting to get up and kick this guys ass! So I finally say "come on now he's only 5 " and Sam gets all pissed. was I wrong to say something? I don't have kids yet and Sam tried to say that was what was best for kids and I don't know cause I don't have any. I take care of my sister's twin boys and 2 year old and thier pretty active and hyper sometimes bad and I never would do or say those things to them or any child. also Sam will correct his girlfriends son and put him in time out and then go tell her so she can punish him too. You don't punish a kid twice for the same thing once is enough! Thanks for any input you can give.
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male
reader, ArmyMedic  +, writes (9 March 2009):
 Report it to some kind of child protection services, if he has done this in front of you then it will be a common thing so you can maintain your anonymity. In the UK every ten days in England and Wales one child is killed at the hands of their parent. In half (52 per cent) of all cases of children killed at the hands of another person, the parent is the principal suspect. (NSPCC web site) We have a lot of problems here in the UK because people do not report child abuse.
A
female
reader, jessica04 +, writes (9 March 2009):
 You were right to make mention to Sam that he was being too harsh. In reality, he is being very verbally abusive to these boys. It sounds like he might be under a lot of stress possibly if he is taking it out on helpless children. This however, does NOT excuse his behavior.
If I were you, I would even file an anonymous tip with CPS. They won't take the boys away from the home, but they have the power to mandate parenting and anger management classes.
Children have no voice, it is up to the rest of us to protect them, even from their own parent at times.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): WTF this guy is mental! Report his goofy ass!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): He was being too harsh on the kid. It's great you spoke up about it. Sam does not know a damn thing about raising kids if he has to use verbal suppression to a 5 year old to do what he wants. Control freak are two words that come to mind. Even I want to get over there and smack him upside the head.
If you can, you really have to talk to the girlfriend about this.
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