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Well, I've had a lot of good and bad relationship experiences. I've been married and divorced. I have a 8yo daughter and I'm pregnant with my second. Yes, I was a teenage mom- but I wouldn't change what happened for anything. I've always been very open minded and understanding. I have two classes left until my psychology bachelor's degree is complete then I'm continuing to my master's. Financially, I'm at the bottom of the totem pole and I can understand not being able to buy food or toilet paper for months. It sucks. The answer isn't to just go get another job or a better job- it's not that easy.
Where do you live?
I live in Minnesota, USA. I hate snow and cold. I stay here because my ex-husband and I have an equal custody share for our daughter and I don't want to compromise that situation.
What makes you tick?
A challenge. I like to help people out-but not when its just because they can't stand on their own. I really enjoy learning-hence the excitement about school. Other than that- I really don't do anything.
What's your relationship status?
I am currently living with my partner (I call him my partner because we're not married but it's more than just being boyfriend/girlfriend) |
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Do breaks work?
Q. He wants to take a break. He's already made plans with a co-worker to find a new place for both of them, which implies signing a lease and agreeing to contribute to another household. I'm 7months preggo and I haven't been the easiest to get alon...
A. 25 February 2011: Well, he came home from work this morning and told me that he isn't leaving and will go to couple's therapy with me; that he loves me and wants to make this work. He also said he needs some time away, and he left to go help his friend look for ... (read in full...)
I'm 14 and pregnant - what will happen to my child, and the father?
Q. I'm 14 and pregnant and i'm not getting rid of it, but if I don't what will happen to the father of my child?, and would social services take it off me? ...
A. 25 February 2011: I'm not sure how britan is different from the us, but I had a baby when I was 17 (underage here). Social services played a role through all of my doc visits to make sure everything was going to be ok for me and baby. I had parental and b/f support, ... (read in full...)
Do breaks work?
Q. He wants to take a break. He's already made plans with a co-worker to find a new place for both of them, which implies signing a lease and agreeing to contribute to another household. I'm 7months preggo and I haven't been the easiest to get alon...
A. 25 February 2011: I have already been looking at what social services can do to set up child support- as I've needed to get medical help in the first place :-/ Most of the info that they require will be at birth, with the birth certificate and such. I just need to ... (read in full...)
Can one child destroy a whole family?
Q. I have a very tragic life. My whole family i destroyed. My children, are all troubled, and I have other serious problems as well. Some chronic bad luck. The family picture is terrible... There is drug addiction, Death from drugs, crime and sham...
A. 30 January 2011: John Wayne Gacy Jr. and Jeffery Dahmer both had normal childhoods, yet they turned out to be serial killers. Recent developments in neuropsychology have discovered an area of the brain that is more prone to 'deviant' behaviors, and this area of the ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend preferred watching a movie with his best friend rather than with me....and I had arranged a day off just for the two of us!
Q. Ok, here goes :) I arranged to get a day off from work so that my boyfriend and I could watch a film that he had bought, and just spend a nice quiet night together... But I just found out that he watched it with his best friend instead. I'm furio...
A. 30 January 2011: My bf has done the same thing, for three weeks in a row now. We live together, but he works nights and I work evenings. We see each other for a little while in the morning but he has expressed that he can't sleep unless I'm sleeping- so I sleep in a ... (read in full...)
Is there any way to go back from needy?
Q. I Love my girlfriend. Maybe too much, at the very least, more than she Loves me. I am a tad co-dependant, and I recognize that as an issue, and am sensitive to it, and can usually stop myself when I'm acting overly jealous or anxious about our ...
A. 30 January 2011: Yeah...
I've been in a relationship like that- and we had a lot of issues because of it. We did end up splitting up over it (while we did get back together) but drastic changes happened.
His 'needy' behavior pissed me off, period. Being in... (read in full...)
What advice do you have for a feuding couple?
Q. My girlfriend and I fight a lot. We're both stubborn headed which is probably the main reason why we fight. Today I tried to joke with her and she said she felt like I "insulted" her. What advice does anybody have for the feuding couple? I love ...
A. 28 January 2011: Wow. I have the same problem and the two post at the beginning are great! "stubborn women, are much more stubborn, than stubborn men" is absolutely true. I'm bullheaded to the core. And this is very true "Yes, she is angry, let her explain why. She ... (read in full...)
Do you think he is too old for me?
Q. Do you think this man that is 11 years older than me is too old for me. I am 20 years old he is 31 we've been together 8 months and he's just amazing, really knows how to treat a woman. I don't have a problem with the age difference and neither does ...
A. 28 January 2011: I dated a guy that was 14 years older than me. The sex was amazing! His honesty wasn't. If he's 31 and is a great guy, question how and why he is that old and doesn't have a current girlfriend or wife. (Not him, but just keep in mind). I'm not sayi... (read in full...)
All my friends are losing their virginity will I be left out
Q. Dear Cupid I'm 16 years old and I'm still a virgin, all of my friends are loosing their virginity and soon I feel like I'm going to be the only one left, I think that I'm ready for sex but I'm scared at the same time and very self conscious about my...
A. 27 January 2011: Go with your gut. I did the same thing and was the only one of my friends that got pregnant- at 16.
Wait until you're ready and you want to. Peer pressure is a b*ch, but don't give in.... (read in full...)
Will I be unable to satisfy women
Q. My Business is 6" long exactly and around 5 and a quarter around. I understand that this is safely within the average, but don't know how acceptable this is for women. A cursory Google search of penile size preference revealed a poll, http://w...
A. 27 January 2011: Ok, so your penis is as big around as it is long?! That's not right.
Besides that- unless the woman is as deemening as most 'player' guys, penis size never really does matter as long as you can please her. What I mean is, I had a co-worke... (read in full...)
Any good back exersice to help ease the pain from large breasts?
Q. I know I shouldnt be complaining because most girls would love to have this problem im sure, but i have a 25 inch waist and size 32DD breasts on a small day. Normally this is an amazing gift, but my upper back and shoulders are always in really bad ...
A. 27 January 2011: hey,
I have the same problem- and being preggo they've only gotten bigger!
I did find, on ebay, these 'chest support' girdle thingys... I'm considering getting one. They're made to lift the boobs and keep them from going to the sides, but I... (read in full...)
I can't feel him unless he goes fast or I'm on top! Any advice?
Q. Well Me and my boyfriend have been together for sometime and we just started to get sexually active. About a month ago he took my virginity and ever since then we been having sex but when he goes inside me I can't feel him and it's not small. So i ...
A. 27 January 2011: I got pregnant at 16. Too embarrased to talk to my mother about birth control, and only 3 months after I started having sex. make sure you're using protection, and not just condoms.... (read in full...)
How do I cut ties with my sister?
Q. I will try to keep this brief but it will take a bit of explaining. I am the oldest of five siblings. We are three sisters then the youngest are boy/girl twins, ages up from 23 to 31 (myself) The problem is with myself and the middle sister who...
A. 27 January 2011: ok :) Put a smile on, you're not the first in this area! I severed all ties to both my best friend (through school) and with my entire family. I have not seen my friend since we graduated almost ten years ago, and have just recently (this w... (read in full...)
A little puzzled regarding an article I read.
Q. I'm in a LDR. We talk every week on Skype and get on very well and in September when I was staying close to where he lives (have my mother and other friends there) we went out and about quite a lot during the 6 weeks. I'll be going back in April. ...
A. 27 January 2011: Ok, My man will be re-enlisting in the Army and this will put us in a LDR, but we're both in our late-20's and capable of handling the jealousy/concern that will arise during his tours. Is this simply a LDR or is it this way because of a cu... (read in full...)
Looking for love, don't know about the rest ...
Q. Hello all. I have a pressing question but don't know quite how to word it, so I guess I'll just shoot from the hip. I'm still a virgin. I would like to find someone to spend the rest of my life with, but, I don't know about sex. I keep vac...
A. 27 January 2011: I could hook you up with my sister! She'll be 20 in April. Nah, I'm just kidding. There's nothing wrong with still being a virgin. Granted I lost mine at 16 and became a teen mom... but! Kudos to you. What has jaded your view of sex in a r... (read in full...)
I really wanna know where I went wrong so I don't make the same mistakes with others!!
Q. Some background info: I was married now I'm not. I am in my mid 20s. Anyway I went with my girlfriends to Florida and met this great guy. He was genuinely nice (trust me we did analyze him), wanted to know about me as a person and had long convers...
A. 27 January 2011: Don't call. Live and let live. This was a fun fling, and it sounds like something that you need a little more of.
I've been married, I'm divorced and I have a (almost) 9 year old daughter; I'm 26. How often do you have your child? My advice? ... (read in full...)
How can I get him to come back to me?
Q. im going to try and tell you our story without making it long. from beginning to end.. in the past six months.. he has left three different girls for me even after i hurt him more than once. he took me back six times after i left him. but the last ...
A. 27 January 2011: ok, first off you say that you're 18-21 but you're talking about high school stuff, right? You're right, young love can and does happen- but only when you're mature about it. You say that he's 'taken you back 6 times after you left him'!! What is ... (read in full...)
Fiance has an anger problem and I don't know what to do
Q. So my finance has anger problem and idk what to do anymore. When i meet him he was a happy person he is like a comedian he makes every body laugh but like a year in the relationship i got to meet his family and she argues a lot with his sister .But ...
A. 27 January 2011: Op, My dad was like this. Very angry and very vocal. Never physical, unless of course it was deserved (spankings were a norm). I, unfortunately, inherited this short rope of patience. Understanding the way my father behaved, and realizing that I ... (read in full...)
Can all women squirt?
Q. So I was a spectator to a discussion at a party the other day (alcohol involved) involving squirting. One guy claimed that the squirting in porn was real. (which I know its not) When someone voiced this contrary opinion, the kid stated that that was ...
A. 27 January 2011: lol, that would be her 'version' of squirting, yes. Basically squirting is a woman's method of cumming. You're doing the right thing if that's what happens. Kudos to you!... (read in full...)
Flat tire, 6mo preggo, and bf is more worried about his xbox game?
Q. So I got a flat tire on my way to work. I'm 6 months pregnant and have no cell phone and live in MN where it was a balmy 20*f out today. I was able to stop someone driving by to use their phone and call my dad. My dad came and helped me, the only ...
A. 27 January 2011: Hey, My bf works overnights full-time, so I didn't want to call him while he was sleeping, or assumed to be sleeping. I also put the phone on silent while he's sleeping, and he puts it back on once he wakes up. The game was actually one he bought me ... (read in full...)
Help me, I'm pregnant!
Q. Hi My boyfriend and i been dating for 2 years im 6 months pregnant and ever since i got pregnant we've been fighting alot. First of all our biggest issue we have we aren't financially stable at all. I work 45 hours a week and my boyfriend doesnt ...
A. 26 January 2011: Ok. Breathe :) I'm in the same situation, but almost 6months along. Part of the problem is simply being hormonal, second part is that when we (women) are preggo we feel entitled to a certain level of being pampered or spoiled by our sig other. ... (read in full...)
She wants to have the wedding after he graduates, he's worried she will cheat!
Q. Hello, My friend is having a problem about her fiancee. They both are in college but my friend is graduating in a year and her fiancee is graduating in four. She wants to tell him that she wants to have the wedding after he graduates but ...
A. 26 January 2011: Whether a person cheats or not is based upon the person, not whether or not the couple is married. Married people cheat just as much as non-married people.
My advice, being that I'm in college... If she has a child, remain unmarried. She can get ... (read in full...)
Power shift in a relationship?
Q. In a relationship why would power shift from one person to the other? Nothing personal just a bit of research for a book I'm writing :) ...
A. 26 January 2011: What about in the case of an accident where one becomes disabled? Or in the cases of military couples and one goes off for a tour of duty? Or if the couple decides to move due to a job offer and one of the individuals does not know anyone in the ... (read in full...)
Can all women squirt?
Q. So I was a spectator to a discussion at a party the other day (alcohol involved) involving squirting. One guy claimed that the squirting in porn was real. (which I know its not) When someone voiced this contrary opinion, the kid stated that that was ...
A. 26 January 2011: lol. I have twice, ever, on accident. I have watched some pornos that involve squirting- and if you look real close it was always the woman peeing, not cumming. I had the same discussion with a group of friends, while sober!
I'm sure most wome... (read in full...)
I asked for nude pictures of my ex! Was this cheating, and should I tell my girlfriend?
Q. I have a problem that I'm trying to figure out and I hope that I can get some help on here. I appreciate any and all advice. Ok, so I've been in a relationship for a little over 3 months now. It's been amazing every second. I really think that she...
A. 26 January 2011: Um... How would you feel if the situation was reversed? Would you feel cheated on? To some this does not count as cheating, to others it does. I would recommend not confessing but never doing this again. Reason? The relationship is only 3 months o... (read in full...)
Guys!! Help! My guy prefers porn and his xbox to real sex... what can I do?
Q. Ok, so my b/f and I have not had sex for a month now. I'm 5.5 months pregnant- but I'm not overweight. I've gained 10lbs and am at 130. The first trimester sex wasn't really something that I felt good about, being nauseous, etc., but now my hormones ...
A. 26 January 2011: Hey! Thanks for your advice. :) I understand how his confidence could have been shot- while he doesn't really ever attempt to make sure I'm satisfied (foreplay or positions, and yes he knows what I like), he is always very self-conscious about hi... (read in full...)
Is this normal for an uncircumsized male?
Q. Hey well i'm 21 and it is my first time being with someone uncircumsized. But i admit the skin freaked me out, but got over it. he got hard and when i went to touch his penis he complained it was very sore why is that ? i barely touched his penis....
A. 26 January 2011: Hey, my ex husband was uncircumcised and one thing I can tell you is that they are much more sensitive than circumcised males. This can be an issue for 'longevity'. Also, contact with an uncircumcised penis is more like that of a female's clit- much ... (read in full...)
I found out everything he told me about his finances is a lie!
Q. I was married in August, to a man I knew when I was a teenager...He is 21 years in the military, and I thought his word was solid... We have only lived together for a month and a half because he was sent on an 8 week mission shortly after the ...
A. 18 January 2011: um. One thing is for certain here. You need to get a job (if you don't have one already) and keep your finances completely separate from his. My bf overspends as well... but not to this extreme. I would have to saw there is definitely an addiction ... (read in full...)
Her attitute toward sex is really frustrating
Q. I'm getting discouraged and feeling really scared for our relationship. Ever since we started having sex my girlfriend has resisted me. I can't do anything to her without seemingly forcing her. It annoys me and make me feel like she doesn't want me ...
A. 18 January 2011: Ok, she's insecure with herself, completely. I have had a lot of these same issues- and sex can be a problem because of them. First off, has she been sexually abused in the past? This could be a giant red-flag and reason for her behavior. Has she ... (read in full...)
How often do engaged couples fight?
Q. I've been single for all my life and it's about to change. The dynamics of letting someone else have the reigns or at least to be the "head" of our relationship/marriage is hard for me to bite. I am so used to being independent and not allowing ...
A. 18 January 2011: Ok, well I'm glad you've had this realization... but don't pressure yourself too much about what you have done. Don't become depressed or over-compensating. I understand the need to build a wall up and protect yourself from harm, and most guys out ... (read in full...)
Will I ever be accepting of his porn usage?
Q. First of all, I don’t want answers to my post or comments on it from people who are totally against porn. I am not against it, I am just asking for advice and I don’t want advice that I absolutely will not take. I mean no offense, but I see it on ...
A. 18 January 2011: Ok, my last b/f I was completely against it. My current b/f I'm perfectly fine with it. The difference? The security that I feel about the way he feels about me. I know with my whole heart that he would never leave me, cheat on me or hurt me in that ... (read in full...)
I don't like women in any way but I watch lesbian porn. What does this mean?
Q. im 110% straight. but i watch lesbian porn. i dont like women in that way just the porn. what does this mean??...
A. 18 January 2011: I personally cannot stand man & woman porn. It churns my stomach! It's the belittling and disrespect towards the woman that just pisses me off. How am I supposed to get turned on when I just saw a guy jiz a gallon on her face? It's disgusting.
W... (read in full...)
I'm not sure if we should make love or wait until we are married, in about 2 years...
Q. Me and my Boyfriend of 4 months have decided we want to spend the rest of our lives together. But we cant get married because of some family issues going on , so we must wait. We both want to make love but i feel pressured. I am a virgin and am ...
A. 18 January 2011: Wait till you're comfortable.
However... I wouldn't wait till you're married. When I got pregnant (baby before marriage) my grandma (YES) told me that she would have rather had sex before she married because then she wouldn't have married him.... (read in full...)
21 year old dating a 16 year old... how do I make people understand we are serious?
Q. Dear Cupid, I've recently been seeing this girl who is the sister of a work collegue. We get on like a house on fire, shes sweet, thoughtful and drop dead gorgeous but there is one thing holding me back and that's a gap between our ages, i'm 21 and...
A. 18 January 2011: The first thing is that, you said you recently started seeing her. Just keep it at seeing each other, etc. In America the legal age of consent is 18- but I understand it's 16 in Great Britain? So the law or parents isn't a big concern... I hope.
... (read in full...)
Can somebody tell ... if it's love?
Q. I have been trying to make this lady have a data with me and after 5 months of trying she agrees. I kept calling and texting her but I eventually felt am pushing a door that can't open in December 2010, I called her told her I like her and I started ...
A. 18 January 2011: She's not into you. These are "leave me alone" actions, but she just doesn't know how to say it nicely. Stop calling, texting, emailing- whatever. And find someone else that actually likes you.... (read in full...)
I'm concerned for my grandchild!
Q. My daughter is 25, has a child 4 years old. She met a new boyfriend 2 month ago. She always lived with us until she met this person, my concern is that it is not stable for her child to live 3 days at our house and the rest of the week at his house, ...
A. 18 January 2011: Hey, I understand your concern :) If the grandchild has been living with you these four years, then he/she is probably more like your own child than a grandbaby.
My questions are:
1. Are there any drugs/alcohol abuse within the new home?
2... (read in full...)
I am getting divorced and want to marry my friend, but so many things are getting in the way! What should I do?
Q. I was married for 6 years to a jerk and I am in the process of getting divorced. I was having some sex problems with my husband since we got married. he wanted sex all the time and I can't. he was sexually abusing me. I am indian so I didn't think ...
A. 17 January 2011: One thing I just thought of is the custody and child support for your child. If you (or your friend) still want financial support, and if you do not want your ex-husband in your life ever again- then fess up to the affair. Within the divorce paper ... (read in full...)
My insecurities have a strangle hold on me
Q. Hi. I am hoping I can get some advice with a very troubling problem. I am in a relationship, I am 33 and boyfriend is 31. We were both late bloomers and I especially had/have problems with self-esteem. We have been together for 1 and a half years ...
A. 17 January 2011: Everyone feels insecure at this junction in their life, wondering if the the risk of getting hurt is worth taking a relationship further. You're not alone here. There's only one thing (well two I suppose): jump right in and hope for the best- keep ... (read in full...)
I've tried to make my dad proud but he just doesn't care!
Q. I know that this sight is meant for relationships between lovers but I'm having trouble with my dad. We have never gotten along, and tho I try and try to do things to relate to him (even if I hate them ... like sports) we still don't get along. All ...
A. 17 January 2011: The relationship I had with my mother was very much like this. No matter what I did for her, it was never up to her standards or right. She would always threaten leaving my father as well- with me being her confidant. It's not easy being in that ... (read in full...)
Why was he holding his daughter's hand like he was?
Q. Is this weird or not?? Whilst driving my partner of 18 months reached across to the back of the car to hold his 12 year old daughters hand. He held it for 10 minutes. She has not been upset or anything -just sitting there.I felt uncomfortable as I ...
A. 17 January 2011: I used to hold my dad's hand when we'd go shopping in public and such- not knowing till now that it isn't socially ok. We'd also play fight, wrestle and snuggle while watching movies, etc. It's a fatherly bond that is very healthy- and that's a good ... (read in full...)
How often do engaged couples fight?
Q. I've been single for all my life and it's about to change. The dynamics of letting someone else have the reigns or at least to be the "head" of our relationship/marriage is hard for me to bite. I am so used to being independent and not allowing ...
A. 17 January 2011: ok, first of all, women are not always right. Second- men and women actually mentally process information and creativity with solving problems in different manners. It does not mean that its wrong or right, but constructively discussing your ... (read in full...)
I am getting divorced and want to marry my friend, but so many things are getting in the way! What should I do?
Q. I was married for 6 years to a jerk and I am in the process of getting divorced. I was having some sex problems with my husband since we got married. he wanted sex all the time and I can't. he was sexually abusing me. I am indian so I didn't think ...
A. 17 January 2011: ok, I am coming from a different cultural background here... but hear me out (and please give me some feedback) My first husband sexually abused me as well, towards the end of the marriage I met a friend and we fell in love. I moved out of my ... (read in full...)
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