A
male
age
41-50,
*inchy boy
writes:I have been trying to make this lady have a data with me and after 5 months of trying she agrees. I kept calling and texting her but I eventually felt am pushing a door that can't open in December 2010, I called her told her I like her and I started calling her again... January 2011 we plan to meet she forgot and when I call her, she insisted we could still meet. So we met in a hurry coz she had to go for a dinner with her family which she did not tell me earlier. We agreed we see where relationship take us this year and after just one week, she text and says I don't call her or text her for one week for her to do some saul searching. I agree. I don't know what she wants can someone tell me what she's all about. And by the way she has never initiated any text like I do frequently, as to her once calling me in the middle of the night apologizing for not picking my calls as she works..... Can I move on or wait for her make her mind up since am not very stable since am establishing my business. And she is.
View related questions:
move on, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, winchy boy +, writes (18 January 2011):
winchy boy is verified as being by the original poster of the question I gave her a nick name and at first she was flattered then the following day she says she does not want it. My woman is just too different and it makes me try harder to get her but the more I do the more she's slipping away...... She never sent a love text and I do frequently. I call her one time she very ready to talk next she's like 'why are you calling me' am confused since we agreed to try it out but after one week she text and say 'this sound weird please don't text or call me for one week, am taking a week off for soul searching' am like confused with all this instructions and conditions. I want a relationship that is flowing not with so many conditions especially from her.... I like her and would want to make her the mother of children but I don't know what she wants....
A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (18 January 2011):
Hi there. You can't know straight away if it's love or not. That takes time - several weeks, months maybe.
If she's not careful it will be over before it begins.
It sounds like you and her are not on the same page. She want's more than you are ready for.
Each time you don't ring her when she expects you to, she wonders what's wrong. It's irrational thinking on her part. Then she thinks you don't care enough. To avoid this in future, tell her you will only call her once a week - not every day. Then you won't have that problem ever again. That problem solved.
Women often seem to want to know exactly what a man is thinking - the future of a relationship, I mean. Like, is this relationship going anywhere? A typical thought most women think about.
If you're not ready to get serious, say so to her. Don't just let her assume things. Let her know you want to take things slow. There is no need to hurry towards getting married.
Make it clear about how you feel when you talk to her (in person - not over the phone or texting), that you like her, but you are not quite ready to get serious just yet. But that you still wish to keep seeing her, to see how things develop. That's completely fair. You are then being completely honest with her - you at least owe her that, surely. It does take time to really know what you want from any relationship.
One thing is for sure, you would definitely know if she was NOT someone you wanted to spend time with.
The main thing is to not allow yourself to be forced into something you are not ready for. It just doesn't work that way. Just live one day at a time.
Just so long as you be honest with each other about what you want from your relationship, then you both know where you stand.
Her problem at the moment is, she might not know where she stands with you. This needs to be clarified - sooner rather than later.
...............................
A
female
reader, wornoutmommy  +, writes (18 January 2011):
 She's not into you. These are "leave me alone" actions, but she just doesn't know how to say it nicely. Stop calling, texting, emailing- whatever. And find someone else that actually likes you.
...............................
|
