A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear CupidI'm 16 years old and I'm still a virgin, all of my friends are loosing their virginity and soon I feel like I'm going to be the only one left, I think that I'm ready for sex but I'm scared at the same time and very self conscious about my body. I also want to wait for the right person to come along and not loose it to some random guy, but it doesn't seem like that's going to be happening soon.... Please help me
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male
reader, boxOfWisdom  +, writes (19 March 2011):
The longer you stay a virgin, the more fullfilling sex will be when u do eventualy have it
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2011): If all your friends were jumping off the bridge, would you have to make the jump too? Just because all your friends are losing their virginity should not make you want to lose yours. Once it's gone, it's gone! Think about this very seriously before you decide.
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A
male
reader, Jjang19  +, writes (3 March 2011):
First find a guy and date him for ATLEAST 4-5 months before you have sex.. Make sure you're truly confortable with him. And just FYI, the longer you wait, the more appreciative a guy you will get (My gf lost her virginity at 15, and I met her at 18. I still really like her but the fact that she had sex so willingly before me will always be in the back of my mind and it will eventually be the reason why we break up)
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A
female
reader, charliesdevil73  +, writes (28 January 2011):
 When you say "I think that I'm ready for sex but I'm scared at the same time and very self conscious about my body" has two reasons why you should wait in it. First, you THINK you are ready for sex and you are SCARED. Don't do it if you think you are ready, do it when you know you are ready and when it doesn't seem so scary. And you will know when you are ready when it is something you want to do because you care about someone, not because all your friends have done it.Secondly, you say you are self conscious about your body. Sex is so much better when you can enjoy it and not worry what the other person thinks about your body. The way to do that is to learn to love yourself for who you are. Look in the mirror at least once a day and give yourself a compliment, even if it's only "wow! I picked a good shade of lipstick". Start small and work up to the big issues for most girls...the thighs, stomach, and butt. Lastly, sex is so much better when you really care for someone. I am engaged at the moment and the sex with my fiance is the best ever. It also got better when I started to fall in love with him. The more we care for someone, the more emotion us women put into sex and those hormones really make it better. If you don't lose it until your 20something but you really love the guy, it will be so much better than losing it now to some random guy.
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A
male
reader, Birdman21 +, writes (28 January 2011):
As a male who is on the other side of essentially the same thing, I assure you to hold onto it at least until you think your ready, hopefully until you know you are. My girlfriend and I took each others last year as juniors in high school, and it was something that took time and was meaningful for both of us. This was sort of middle of the pack when compared to everyone else, and coincided with several of my friends (guys and girls) losing theirs out of relationships in everything from a drunken fling to a random one or two hookup. Some of the girls end up simply being used, more end up in relationships they really don't belong in because of the V-Card attachment that really doesn't exist because the guy was only after sex. Make sure the guy cares about you more than your vagina, and make sure your protected. (I know many girls were on the pill for acne and just continued once they became active), I recommended the pill because at least 5 of my friends seemed to forget that the condom needs to have space left in the tip or it breaks nearly every time and the girls had to get Plan B. I personally feel that there's more social stigma from a guy being a virgin than a girl, largely because guys perceive virgin guys to be a wuss or weak with girls. While some less caring guys might find a lack of experience a turn off, the VAST majority would see you saving yourself as classy, so the guys who actually LIKE you will be the ones you draw in.I believe the average age of virginity loss world wide is 17.3 (U.S Average is about 17.0, girls typically lose it earlier around 16.4) years old, which is right about where most of my experience has it happening. Keep in mind that this number deviates from as low as 15, all the way up too 20 or 21 in some places. Being a virgin is a totally acceptable social thing, especially so between that age window. Bottom line is just make sure your comfortable with the guy, make sure you two genuinely care about each other, (unless you just want to "lose it" which I'm damn near sure some girls are content with contrary to many opinions on this site, and use proper protective measures.Hope this helps. -RCBIrdmanJR
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2011): I don't see you have any reason to worry.Your friends did it because it was the right choice for them. Unlike most people here, I don't feel losing ones virginity will automatically make you a failure in life.So long as you understand what you are getting into and the risks and potential consequences, then it's live and let live I say.But remember, sex isn't a competition. You aren't competing to see who can be the first to go, or who can sleep with as many men before you reach legal age.You have sex/make love when it feels right. I can't tell you when that will be. You just know.Just make sure you do it without regrets. And remember... your first time will be awkward and likely quite painful. Not romantic like in the movies. It never is.Flynn 24
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): please dont lose it just b/c your friends are. you will end up regreting i. I promise you on that. Be the one girl who is still a virgin, the right guy will cherish you for just that. Save yourself. :)
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A
female
reader, Jen1689 +, writes (27 January 2011):
 Please don't be in a rush to lose your virginity. It's a precious thing, and waiting for sex until the right person comes along it so worth it. I lost my virginity at age 20 to my now-fiance. I lost it to him within the first month of dating him, but that's only because I knew he was The One. Had I lost it sooner to someone who didn't care about me and who I didn't care about would make me regret it more than anything. I feel happy knowing the Love of My Life is my one and only. All of my friends lost theirs in highschool at very young ages as well. As you can imagine, things went south for a lot of them. The guys they lost it to didn't stick around for long afterward. Some of them got pregnant. Some of them got STDs. Some of them were just emotionally broken from the whole experience. It's not worth it. Kids your age don't know what to do a lot of the time anyway, so sex can be very awkward and uncomfortable. Stick to your morals and your gut feeling on this one. You'll know when the right time is. Just trust me =)
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female
reader, Claire1640 +, writes (27 January 2011):
pretty much all i can say to this is,
don't stress about it!.. i'm 16 myself, and have never even been in a serious relationship yet, partly because i'm really dedicated to my school work and i don't want anything like that to get in the way. My close friends are also just beginning to find someone and i know for a fact that most of them will probably lose their virginity this year, however i on the other hand, will probably not.
I really don't think it's something to get worked up about. I used to think that losing your virginty was a thing to be proud of and that everyone will look at you differently once they know that your no longer a virgin but the truth is, no one cares but yourself! don't rush into sleeping with someone just for the sake or having sex for the first time. Because trust me, you'll regret it! just wait for the right person to come along, it will happen eventually don't worry! :)) personally, i think losing you're v to the right guy is really important, i don't wanna look back and be like.. "what the hell was i thinking sleeping with him?" :'D
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A
female
reader, mamabibbit85 +, writes (27 January 2011):
 Don't do it because your friends are doing it!!!! Have patients the right man will come along. No matter your shape or your size the right man will love you for you and it won't matter to him, what you look like. He will see you as the most beautiful being. But please don't do loose it to just the first guy who is willing. You need to have pride in yourself. I lost my virginity at 15 and really wish I would have waited. I was a lot like you everyone around me was loosing theirs and I was also very self contentious about my body, and I fell for the first guy who showed me that type of attention. It was the worst thing that could have happened. Just think really long hard before you doing anything.
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A
male
reader, kenny +, writes (27 January 2011):
 Just don't be in a rush to lose your virginity, keeping it as long as you can is a good thing. It dosen't matter that your pals are loosing their virginity, thats up to them. Waiting for the right person is the right thing to do, and as you get older you will look back and be glad you held out for someone special. You most certainly will meet the right person, maybe tommorow, next month, or next year. Just don't be to hasty, we invarible meet our perfect partners when we are not even looking for them, so relax and enjoy your life and have fun.
Good luck
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A
female
reader, wornoutmommy +, writes (27 January 2011):
 Go with your gut. I did the same thing and was the only one of my friends that got pregnant- at 16.
Wait until you're ready and you want to. Peer pressure is a b*ch, but don't give in.
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