A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I Love my girlfriend. Maybe too much, at the very least, more than she Loves me. I am a tad co-dependant, and I recognize that as an issue, and am sensitive to it, and can usually stop myself when I'm acting overly jealous or anxious about our relationship.My question is this: Is there any way to go back from needy? I've made my feelings clear to her how much I Love her, and I think she may be a bit put off by it.For the ladies out there who've had the experience, once you've "gotten" the guy wrapped around your finger, is there any way back??
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male
reader, jonathan_foo +, writes (30 January 2011):
I was in a relationship where we were both very needy. I was very jealous and anxious. She was needy too, but at the same time, very flirty (she loved attention/validation).
It was a very hard time for me but I was convinced that I loved her. I accused her of loving me less than I loved her.
After we broke up, I looked back and realized what I had been--insecure and stupid. That's all.
The only way to fix it is to re-evaluate your insecure feelings. Read about and understand insecurity. Observe and understand YOUR insecurity. Once you have a grasp on it, you can begin to change it.
A
female
reader, wornoutmommy +, writes (30 January 2011):
 Yeah...
I've been in a relationship like that- and we had a lot of issues because of it. We did end up splitting up over it (while we did get back together) but drastic changes happened.
His 'needy' behavior pissed me off, period. Being independent, I knew that going into a relationship would be having that independence put off a bit- but there is a difference between needy and needing love/attention. I told my bf that in order for me to want to continue the relationship he had to grow up, he had to be responsible for himself and not guard every minute of how I spent my day. He had been cheated on before, so I understood where his issues of jealousy and concern came from- but they were unwarranted. He would question me about being home 10-15 minutes later than normal (I work a tentative 2-6, but it is based on the load of patient samples I receive and can finish processing in that time). I couldn't leave a little earlier for work in order to fill up the car with gas without him asking who I was going to go see.
Being needy isn't a matter of being tied around her finger. Being needy has to do with your own insecurities about the relationship or yourself. Confront those insecurities and fix them- pronto- or this is guaranteed to fail.
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