Is it wrong or weird that I'm kind of jealous of younger women?
Q. Women it seems, are generally valued for their youth more than men are, despite me being a guy, as in human male, there are times I am jealous, envious of how women are valued for their youth more than men are. The reason why is because i'm a gu...
A. 20 April 2015: Men and women all have to find their own confidence in social interactions, whether for relationships or friendships. Learning how to project your best self and be relaxed in your own skin applies to men and women. It's not easy for anyone. ... (read in full...)
Does this guy like me or is he just being nice?
Q. I really like the guy over the road from me and im not sure if he likes me he always smiles at me and stands looking then when he gives me a lift home in the car when we drop people off he looks im the mirror and askes if I want to move in to the ...
A. 20 April 2015: If he has romantic intentions he will make a move and fairly soon, if appropriate. There is just the issue of it being on your doorstep, so to speak. ... (read in full...)
Should I explain myself to an old flame, or simply move on with my life?
Q. During my days at university, I had a bit of a fling with a girl I stayed with in my halls. Our relationship became quite passionate, but it was short lived, as I was graduating, moving back home and didn't want to commit to a relationship with ...
A. 20 April 2015: I think the old flame still thinks of you as a contender for a relationship. Your new partner sees this and is jealous. Don't message the old girlfriend, it will give her false hope. ... (read in full...)
20 year age gap. I like his mind. Shoud I pursue this relationship?
Q. Hi Agony people, I'm in my mid twenties and have feelings for an older man. I dont find him beautiful or a sex bomb. I love the way he thinks and uses his mind. He is similar to me in this way. His career or lifestyle doesnt factor into...
A. 20 April 2015: He'd be delighted, but you say you don't fancy him physically, so to me it sounds more like just good friends.... (read in full...)
How can I accept being ugly?
Q. How can I accept being ugly? I'm too old to be wondering this. But I'm ugly, as a kid I felt awkward about my appearance and high school was hell with all the bullying. There are things I can change, like lose a little weight, take care of my ...
A. 18 June 2014: Just a minute, hardly anyone can be described as ugly, and even then it's the ugliness on the inside that really makes someone unattractive! I bet you are not ugly at all... Everyone has aspects of themselves they do not like. I'm 44 and am only ... (read in full...)
I have a partner. Should I be feeling this way when I look at another man?
Q. I'm 22 years old. I have been in a relationship with my man for five years on and off. We have a very rocky kind of relationship but we also have alot of happy times too. He works all the time, i never see him. We live together and have a four year ...
A. 18 June 2014: You are not a bad person. I think you are a good person who is trying to stick at a bad relationship possibly for the sake of your child. It will be hard but you need to address whether your current relationship is truly meeting your needs or ... (read in full...)
I just want to be confident and happy, so I need a nose job
Q. I'm looking in to getting a nose job, all through my childhood i have been so self conscious of my nose, i am a pretty girl but the only thing that lets me down is my nose. Everyone i know says they like me the way i am but im certain i want a nose ...
A. 18 June 2014: I had cosmetic surgery which was not a success. My advice is to look into the very best person to do this surgery, regardless of cost. I see you are in the UK, so perhaps start with your GP. It could be that your nose is actually alright but that ... (read in full...)
I'm nervous about seeing my ex again. Should I not go?
Q. At the beginning of the year, I broke up with my gf of 3.5 years because we weren't compatible for marriage. I haven't seen or spoken with her since. Unfortunately, I'm still very much in love her and I haven't been able to get her off my mind. ...
A. 18 June 2014: I take it she ended the relationship and wanted no contact? Otherwise, it sounds like you two need to talk to see if there is love on both sides. I can't help feeling there may be a chance of reconciliation if so. ... (read in full...)
I want to be his friend but I wonder if my attachment is somehow unhealthy
Q. So, I have known this guy for almost a year now and we have become great friends. He seems like a really good person and I like being friends with him. I secretly hope that we will become Bff's for real. He seems to understand me and his level of ...
A. 18 June 2014: I think that you will be giving more than you are getting from this rather one sided relationship/friendship. This man doesn't seem to treat you properly. I think you could find better friends where there true respect is reciprocal. You are worthy ... (read in full...)
Anyone else get cranky when they've been without for a while?
Q. Out of curiosity, do any of you ever get cranky when you have not had sex in a while? I find that my irritability increases significantly, and I feel like a volcano that's about to explode!...
A. 10 July 2013: I find it hard to concentrate properly on anything if I feel like that. Frustration!... (read in full...)
Sometimes I feel we're so compatible that we're not compatible. What should I do?
Q. Hi Agony Aunts. First, a little background. My ex and I were together for five years before we split. Factors were very curable, we just needed some time apart. Well, we had a year apart and then I came back from England... with a boyfriend. I can ...
A. 12 June 2013: You said it yourself, he's not for you. There are things in his personality that you dislike. Therefore you do not want to go back to him. Because if you do, it might hurt him again and worse. So be fair to both of you and just leave it alone.... (read in full...)
He said he doesn't feel the same way, but I don't want to let it go
Q. So I'm 16 and I've liked the same person for over a year now and still can't give in and move on. He's a very close family friend so he's mentioned in my family a lot however I hardly see him now, every 2-3 months. Last year it all hit me hard and I ...
A. 12 June 2013: Yes, it is hard when someone does not return your feelings but it's best to resign yourself to the reality and move on to better things in the future. ... (read in full...)
I love him but I think he's going back to the woman who cheated on him. How can I prove to him she cheated?
Q. This is really weighing on my heart. I'm confused about whether my friend is going to get back with his ex wife or if he wants to. My big question is, I heard that she has another boyfriend and she cheated when they were married. I feel like it'...
A. 12 June 2013: Putting up a fight for a man never works. They will go where they want to in the end. The worst thing is when they ping pong backwards and forwards having their cake and eating it. If he has kids with his wife, that would possibly explain why he w... (read in full...)
He said "I'll always love you" but then broke up with me. What does he mean?
Q. my bf broke up with me and he said "ill always love you" what does he really mean when he says that? does he even mean it or is he saying it to make himself not look like such a jerk? his reason for the breakup was that he didnt want to be in a ...
A. 12 June 2013: I think he has tried to spare your feelings but saying that, and by making out it's any relationship he doesn't want right now rather than one with you. I realise that you are feeling rejected and hurt and confused right now, but ultimately it will ... (read in full...)
Our marriage is hanging by a thread. My husband changed his facebook password and won't give it to me!
Q. I need help trying to not let it bother me that my husband changed his fb pass on me and wont give it to me cause i cant trust him. Our marriage is hanging by a thread and im trying really hard to fix this prob. It doesnt help that most people I ...
A. 12 June 2013: You must have a reason not to trust him from past experiences? The facebook thing is just a side issue. You suspect he is up to no good?
You must communicate clearly with each other. Sit down and tell each other what you are not happy with. If... (read in full...)
How do I get over my girlfriend's past?
Q. My girlfriend (20) and I (19) go to the same college, and have been together for the past couple months. It's been, for the most part, an excellent relationship. We care for each other a great deal; heck, I think I'm in love with her. And, for the ...
A. 16 May 2013: She's told you all this because she trusts you and felt you'd understand. So although you do feel negatively about it, you will just have to keep it to yourself and try to forget about it. Just concentrate on the fact that you two are together and ... (read in full...)
How do I move on? I really need some help.
Q. This is my first post. I feel as if I have no where else to turn. A little over a month ago, I was dumped. We were together for a year and 4 months. I did not see the breakup coming.. His reasoning for the breakup was that he feels as if we h...
A. 16 May 2013: The pain will leave, yes. And yes, I have felt like this and so have most other people so we all understand where you are at right now. It really is just a question of time passing, and you keeping yourself busy and socialising and your mind ... (read in full...)
Ready to have some fun, for once! Suggestions?
Q. Hi everyone, I'm single, 19 years old. I'm not looking for a relationship right now (but if one develops, I'll go with it) and I just want to have fun. But I am totally clueless since my relationship of almost 3 years just ended. What are your su...
A. 16 May 2013: If you have let your hobbies and interest slide while you were in the relationship then start up something new again and get mingling with new people. ... (read in full...)
Should I keep the shirt or return it to my ex?
Q. I was with my ex for 4 years and was in LDR for two years. I'm not a person that would ask for promises or commitment while my ex gave me his life commitment and talked about our future all the time. I ended my relationship last week because he's ...
A. 16 May 2013: Keep it. That was his intention. Eventually it won't mean anything to you and you will get rid of it.... (read in full...)
How would you react to a $20 engagement ring from a well-off guy?
Q. Hello everyone, My boyfriend proposed with a ring that he paid 20 dollars. If he was earning a low income, I would not be asking for advice. However, he drives an expensive car, has about 50 pairs of shoes, good job, etc. should I be upset? Am I ...
A. 22 March 2013: That man has messed up a major moment which does not bode well. The presentation of a lovely ring to make you unbelievably happy, or a definite indication that a shared trip to a jewellers is on the cards would have been right.
Leaving you wond... (read in full...)
Do you think the man I'm cheating on my husband is in love with me?
Q. I've been having sex with him for three months. I'm married, he's single.I fell hard for him and he knows it. Despite knowing my feelings, he still wanted to meet me and have contact with me. He told me he'll never become attached to a married ...
A. 22 March 2013: You have taken a predictable bashing from the aunts and uncles but I know you are one unhappy woman looking for something. Your marriage isn't working, you hoped to find what you were missing with this other man and now he looks to have cooled off. ... (read in full...)
I'm pregnant and just found out my boyfriend cheated. What should I do now? I'm lost and just need to talk.
Q. Today has been a bad day for me. I found out that my boyfriend is in jail again. I looked up his record because I was wondering why I have not heard from him in 2 days and that's how I found out. Its not like him to not talk to me for two days.Then ...
A. 22 March 2013: The best thing that could happen here is if you both leave the rogue well alone, become friends and that the kids become lifelong friends, seeings as they are half siblings. The worst thing that could happen is that you two girls fight over this ... (read in full...)
Would you continue to date a guy who you were completely emotionally compatible with but intellectually it's not quite there?
Q. Would you continue to date a guy who you where completely emotionally compatible with but intellectually it's not quite there???? I mean I love him but sometimes he says this that Make me think he's not intelligent. What so ya'll think?Physically ...
A. 22 March 2013: This is about respect and feeling on the same level. It won't be any good if you are constantly finding him lacking in intelligence because you will be looking down on him. ... (read in full...)
Should I text him? Or not?
Q. I met this guy online, he lives about 1.5 hours away by ferry. We texted pretty much everyday quite a bit for just over a month. He made a few comments about coming up for a weekend. This scared me because what if we did not hit it off and I was ...
A. 22 March 2013: Don't chase him. Either he is interested enough to keep texting you or it's coming to an end. These are the plain facts and I'm not trying to offend you.
... (read in full...)
If you were in my shoes, would you stay?
Q. i've been seeing a girl for about four months now. i'm very happy with her and we have a very healthy relationship together. she tells me she definitely sees a future with me and i thought i did, too. my problem is that she told me today that sh...
A. 22 March 2013: Are you really in the 26-29 year age bracket? Because you come across as much younger. 4 months is perfectly do-able in terms of being separated while in a relationship. Allowing someone to spead their wings and develop themselves is part of loving ... (read in full...)
How do I confess to my wife and my children that I have had countless affairs and 3 children came from these affairs?
Q. im not in the best of health and im trying to find the lord and confess my sins. just not sure how to tell my wife who im separated from that i wasnt as innocent as she thought. we got married in the military had a son and daughter and i let her ...
A. 22 March 2013: I think you are set to do more harm than good and that you will have to accept that the burden of guilt is part of the life you have led. Confess to a priest or similar and talk it through with them rather than dropping these bombshells on your ... (read in full...)
Woman I met on a lesbian dating site is actually bisexual and married! How could she be so deceitful, and should I confront her?
Q. I'm a lesbian and a few months back I joined a lesbian dating site. Shortly thereafter a member contacted me and expressed an interest in me. I was impressed with how she presented herself, what she conversated about. I have since taken a fond ...
A. 12 February 2013: Is confronting her going to purge you of your anger?
I don't think any kind of unseemly showdown will do any good and you might even end up making a fool of yourself.
My advice: keep super cool and just ditch her. Then let time take it's c... (read in full...)
Can I fix this job interview mistake?
Q. i went for job interview today for a guest room co ordicator and they asked me about my goal in five years and i said it would be to open my own salon. now that was really stupid and not realistic as i should have said it would be to excel in the ...
A. 25 January 2013: Yep, better to sound ambitious and go-getting than not! Try not to dwell on what was said. Even if you don't get this job you will get a good one elsewhere. ... (read in full...)
Suddenly can't do bjs any more??
Q. ok so i have a problem. I have been marrried for 11 yrs and all 1 of those yrs i was able to give great messy blow jobs no problem, but lately i just cant as soon as it gets too wet i start to panic and feel like i cant breathe? it upsets my husband ...
A. 25 January 2013: Switch to using your hand, then gradually re-introduce your mouth to the process as time goes by and you regain your confidence. The hand/mouth combo is the way forward. ... (read in full...)
Am I too small to have sex?
Q. I know this is gonna sound weird but me and my friend got into this really weird conversation about sex (we're both virgins which would explain the constant giggles and blushes) which led to me wondering about how deep my vagina was inside. I actu...
A. 25 January 2013: Don't forget the vagina has the capacity to stretch and expand to allow a baby through, so don't worry about being abnormal in any way. When the time is right you will find that your anatomy is perfectly suited and fully functioning. Worry not! ... (read in full...)
Should I forgive my guy friend for sleeping with my then girlfriend?
Q. I am not completely sure how forgiveness works. I don't know when to let go of something, or to hold onto it -- I either do or I don't, and that is that. I have a question about forgiving and forgetting. To ask it, I feel I should give the story ...
A. 25 January 2013: Well, I think this whole episode is best left behind you, and that you should not persue any friendship with either of them. The world is full of people and there will be other friendships and relationships that leave you feeling positive. You can ... (read in full...)
Is my boyfriend controlling or normal?
Q. I have been with my boyfriend for just 4 months now but we have been seeing eachother since last July. He is honestly, the most caring, loving, gentle man I have ever come across ( and I am not saying that because he is my boyfriend ). I have just ...
A. 25 January 2013: He's too controlling. Something sinister about the way he dominates you. Don't stay just for the good points, take heed of the bad and move on. Be your own person and look for a relationship on equal terms with mutual respect.... (read in full...)
Online date turned out to be much bigger than I expected. How do I let her know I am not physically attracted without hurting her?
Q. Hi so recently i set up a profile on a dating site. I was contacted by a girl that looked really cute. We talked for a bit exchanged phone numbers, and texted a bunch, she was really cool and we had some common interests. We met up recently and i ...
A. 25 January 2013: I agree with Kenny, just back off in a subtle way and don't agree to "just good friends" or anything otherwise it will give her false hope for the future.
(You know what, part of me is thinking you should tell her the truth for her own future b... (read in full...)
My father won't get rid of a POS oven! Should I have my friend sabotage it?
Q. I know this question isn't the sort of question that this website's created for, but I want some opinions on what I should do about this. For about 16 years my family has used the same oven. At one point it was a pretty good oven, but overtime...
A. 25 January 2013: I think it's too dangerous to get someone to fiddle with it. If it's old it might even be dangerous in it's own right! We had all sorts of malfunctioning kit in our house when i was growing up and it spurs you on to independence and getting your own ... (read in full...)
We planned to meet up but it never happened and now I think he has lost interest. I still like him, so how do I save this situation?
Q. Theres this guy at work that I like and at first I thought he liked me back as he asked for my number and we used to phone each other every day. We planned meet up but they just didnt happen due to conflicting schedules and now we dont speak as ...
A. 21 January 2013: Let it go. The workplace romance is mostly a very bad idea anyway. The red face and your embarassment will be quickly forgotten. Just stay on good terms and be polite and friendly. Then business as ususal.
... (read in full...)
I'm having a very hard time dealing with this break up even though, logically, we are not suited....
Q. My long distance boyfriend and I broke up in November 2012. We had been together for 4 years. We broke up 2 years into our relationship but got back together 3 months later. To begin with the feelings were mutual and we both agreed a break u...
A. 21 January 2013: I'm so sorry that you have been having a distressing time.
However, you have summed up the problems in the relationship very well and indeed, it does look like there were big issues. He wasn't treating you well and you surely cannot have been hap... (read in full...)
Boyfriend lost his dad and is suffering, but he raised his hand to me and is very angry/abusive. What if he does it again?
Q. Hey everyone, I am 24 and I have been dating my boyfriend since I was 15!things were going really great,we got into the same college finished our degress,we have a very good job,although my boyfriend comes from a rich family but yet he decided ...
A. 14 January 2013: If he's done it once, you're on for more of the same in the future.
You need to be with someone who has better control over their emotions.
Don't blame yourself and don't make excuses for him.
I say move on. ... (read in full...)
Why do my online dating experiences never lead to an actual date?
Q. I've been using a dating site for awhile. Where I live there's really nowhere to go to meet men, unless it's a bar, which I'd rather not do, so it's the online dating. Anyway, every time I seem to find someone that seems interested, it only lasts ...
A. 14 January 2013: There are people out there who are only in it for the chat. Sometimes they are lonely, or they have told lies about themselves which would be hard to live up to in person. If possible, I think you should get a coffee date planned sooner rather than ... (read in full...)
We spent the night together, the next day he got word his dad was sick. He hasn't contacted me first since then!
Q. I am really confused here. I was seeing a great guy he is Canadian and is a student here in the uk. Things were going so well and I knew how much he was into me. We spent the night together I felt so close to him. The next day he got really bad news ...
A. 14 January 2013: I think that, regardless of his father's illness and family stuff going on, he would have shown more interest by contacting you more. I'm sorry, but it's not a great sign that he hasn't been more communicative.
Watch out for him re-appea... (read in full...)
I'm looking for miss right but keep running into miss wrong!
Q. Dear Cupids, I know people have standards but I feel like I rule out woman by my dating pickyness. I am looking for someone who is around my stature(5'11). Someone a little shorter than me and skinny to big boned. I have graduated college(...
A. 14 January 2013: You might get some stick on here about being to prescriptive about the woman you want. Yet women draw up lists (mental or otherwise!) of the traits they need in a man. Then normally someone comes along who mostly fits the bill and the chemistr... (read in full...)
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