A
female
age
41-50,
*tonerStare420
writes:ok so i have a problem. I have been marrried for 11 yrs and all 1 of those yrs i was able to give great messy blow jobs no problem, but lately i just cant as soon as it gets too wet i start to panic and feel like i cant breathe? it upsets my husband and it upsets me as well, its not for lack of trying either but in the end we both just end up frustrated and angry, i cant figure out why now all of a sudden i cant do it when i have been able to do it so far?
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male
reader, TrancedRhythmEar  +, writes (25 January 2013):
 Sounds to me like sumthin psychological. Perhaps its sumthin u dont enjoy to begin with?
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 January 2013):
 have you had a medical work up recently to make sure there is no medical reason (sinus issues or other problems) for this sudden change?
If you get a clean bill of health, I would suggest considering what's going on to be causing the panic attacks. Maybe some therapy to figure it out.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2013): I think you need to take the pressure off yourself and take bjs off the menu for a little bit. The pressure means you are not relaxed when you try to do it which is making the anxiety worse which makes it more of an issue for you. That can be how phobias start. Instead of going for the whole bj thing straight away, go back to basics and do things like kiss your husband around his stomach and thighs then stop. Once you get comfortable with that, you can move up along his penis and around the top. Keep going like that until you train yourself to be able to do it again. Remember though that a bj should be a treat so your husband should not be getting angry when you can't do it.
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A
female
reader, Read-the-signs  +, writes (25 January 2013):
Switch to using your hand, then gradually re-introduce your mouth to the process as time goes by and you regain your confidence. The hand/mouth combo is the way forward.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 January 2013): When you say you used to "be able to " do it, to me that sounds like you never enjoyed it instead you were just tolerating and putting up with it. I think that when you merely tolerate something over time you start to dislike it more and more if it's something you always have to keep doing. It is possible that you have just reached your limit of how many bi's you "are able to" give. If you truly enjoyed doing it (as I do with my bf) then it never gets old and you wouldn't be suddenly getting panic attacks. I think you just reached the end of how much you could tolerate doing and now the aversion can no longer be suppressed.If this is how you feel then you should stop trying to make yourself do ot. And your hb if he loves you he would not want you to keep doing it if you're feeling like this, he would be grateful all the effort you put in over the last 11 years to make him happy with this and now grant you the favor of letting you decide if you never want to do it again.
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