A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi Agony Aunts. First, a little background. My ex and I were together for five years before we split. Factors were very curable, we just needed some time apart. Well, we had a year apart and then I came back from England... with a boyfriend. I can honestly say I was over the relationship with my ex at that point. Apparently, he was not.We were together long enough for me to memorize his facial expressions and know what he's thinking. He was not happy at all that I'd brought a guy back home with me; at the time, all I could say was 'too bad'. Needless to say, we started bickering a lot. But we got back into the groove of things with our friends and I continued datng my British boyfriend. But then his Visa came to a close six months later and he had to move back and we broke up. My ex and I remained friends.Then one night, us and our friends in all our 26 year old glory, decided to play Truth or Dare. My ex picked Truth and a close friend of ours asked him, "Do you want (my name) back?" He looked me dead in the eyes, without hesitation and said, "Yes."After that, we had a few chats about it but I told him I wasn't sure. Basically, this is a guy I just knew I was going to marry and raise a family with. But we broke up because he is so pessimistic about everything in life and he's not very good at managing his finances. I just don't want to deal with that, ya know?I mean, don't get me wrong, he's a lovely guy otherwise. Sometimes, I feel we're so compatible that we're not compatible. What should I do?
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female
reader, Got Issues  +, writes (12 June 2013):
 Usually when people break up it's because they are not right for each other. Over time, memories tend to fade and what was bad at the time and caused you to break up might seem like a very small thing.
Honestly, it doesn't sound like you were that compatible. If you point out his pessimism and financial problems, that probably means that you are different in these respects and that these character traits don't work for you, meaning that you are not compatible.
I think that getting back together would be a mistake. Like I said, you broke up the first time so what makes you think it would work out a second time? Also, you say you got over him completely, and it seems that it's only because he wants you back that you're considering it. You sound like you're doing well for yourself. I would let go of this idea and let the past be the past.
A
female
reader, tell tez +, writes (12 June 2013):
go with your gut feeling, do u still have strong feelings about this guy? if your absolutely mad about him this problem with money shouldn't stand in the way. At the end of the end money cant buy happiness, so if he is a good genuine guy give him another chance, everyone deserves a second chance :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2013): it's rather simple OP, do you think the reasons you broke up are still applicable to him?
Is he still a pessimist who is bad with money?
If so then you need to nip this in the bud and refuse point blank to ever be with him again.
You gave it a shot for 5 years OP and it didn't work out, unless he's completely changed and you know this for certain then don't even consider it.
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A
female
reader, Read-the-signs +, writes (12 June 2013):
You said it yourself, he's not for you. There are things in his personality that you dislike. Therefore you do not want to go back to him. Because if you do, it might hurt him again and worse. So be fair to both of you and just leave it alone.
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