A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So I'm 16 and I've liked the same person for over a year now and still can't give in and move on. He's a very close family friend so he's mentioned in my family a lot however I hardly see him now, every 2-3 months. Last year it all hit me hard and I felt quite depressed, this lasted about 3 months. Ever since I've not felt as strong about him but he's always been on my mind and when I've seen him by surprise on the bus on the way home from school or something I've turned into a nervous wreck just waiting for him to walk past. I don't know what to do now as much as I want to move on and I think it's for the best I don't want to give up and I don't believe I can ever move on. I told him how I felt last year and he was very nice but made it clear he didn't feel the same way. I want to speak to him about it again and tell him I still feel the same but I don't want to push him further away and make it even more awkward between us, any suggestions??
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female
reader, Got Issues +, writes (12 June 2013):
 Don't speak to him again. He's known since last year how you feel about him so if he had changed his mind in the meantime he would have let you know. You'd just be making a fool of yourself and pushing him away.
You're 16 and you have a lifetime ahead of you. I know it's hard to see it now, but you won't always feel this way. You'll meet other guys, you'll like some but not others, some will like you, others won't, some will treat you well, others less so. What I can say with some degree of certainty is that a couple of years from now, you will look back on this crush, which right now seems like a massively important thing to you and the difference between happiness and unhappiness, and you'll wonder what you were thinking.
I've "loved" a lot of guys. Luckily most never went past the crush stage. I suffered a lot at the time, but now I can look back and laugh, or cringe, or just bury my face in my hands with embarrassment. Most I don't even remember. I can no longer see what I ever saw in most of them, and you will be the same. You will get over this guy.
A
female
reader, Read-the-signs +, writes (12 June 2013):
Yes, it is hard when someone does not return your feelings but it's best to resign yourself to the reality and move on to better things in the future.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2013): I was just the same when I was 16, and in fact I've felt this way about a few guys. However I promise you he is not your first love - someone will come along who you will love so so so much more, and you will forget all aboit this. In my situation, he didn't really like me anymore and just messed me around. It took me about a year to think enough is enough and move on. What's funny is he came crawling back, to which I said no. 2 years later I met someone, we've been together for three years now (I'm 21). Sweetie my point is, moving on with strengthen you; it will allow you to move on and enjoy your life, to be happy regardless, and you will also believe in yourself more and be proud because you stood up for yourself. You deserve someone who is madly in love with you. You are doing the right thing by deciding to move on. Try going out with friends or joining a club or focus on studies, etc. You're so young and have your whole life ahead of you. Don't be afraid to move on because you are not losing anything :)
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2013): You punish and hurt yourself when you go after people who don't feel the same way about you as you feel for them.You don't have a choice but to move on. If you feel too depressed and this bothers you too much; or you can't concentrate, you have to let someone know. Asking for advice online just might not be enough.You feel bad because you can't handle the rejection; because it lowers your self-esteem. This is too much to handle by yourself; so you need to talk to an adult who can help you understand your feelings.You have to leave him alone. Talking won't change his mind. If you keep bothering him, you will push him further away. He will start to avoid you; because you are behaving a little weird. If you keep your distance, and don't try to talk to him; your crush will pass. They always do.
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