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... Send *igelfuxwell a private message | | | *igelfuxwell's profile:I'm Nigel Fuxwell, the young, hip urban relationship expert. Hmmm... Wait a minute, a guy who calls himself "Fuxwell" is going to give me advice? Well, don't sweat it, it's only a joke. It's actually a name my good friend in the UK gave me when I was there visiting some years ago. I'm only 33, but I've lived a hell of a life. Spent some time living in France, Italy and all over the States, and eventually settled down in Southern California. I'm actually an engineer by trade, so this part of my personality used to be hidden from my friends.
Anyway, whether you love me or hate me is irrelevant. Any post I answer I do with my best intentions, and I hope I can at least give you a different perspective on love, sex and relationships. You'll find that I can be pretty blunt, straightforward. Where I come from, we call that being real. Look, love is brutal. If you come on to the internet to seek help, it means you're in a pickle. It means you need help. The last thing you need is someone being emotionless and cold like a therapist (The Rapist) or stroke your ego and tell you all your problems are someone else's. Soooo... I would say I apologize in advance if I offend anyone, but I'd be lying... |
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I'm worried that I'll become bored with my marriage; can anyone give me hope about this?
Q. Are there any married couples out there that don't find their relationships boring? And if so, how many years have you been together? I've been married once, and boredom set in rather quickly. I'm heading down the isle with #2 pretty soon, and I ...
A. 28 July 2007: I am actually writing an article about this very same issue right now. It's no secret that familiarity breeds boredom sometimes, regardless of whether it's your job, your daily routine, your home or your relationships. And the situation is made ... (read in full...)
We got back together, first I wasnt sexually attracted to her, now its her with me! Help!!!!
Q. Really hope people will take the time to read this. My girlfriend and i have been back together for about 3 months. We have a lot of history together including our son who is nearly 7. We tried at the relationship last year and to cut a long story ...
A. 26 July 2007: The first thing you have to realize is that women are completely different from us when it comes to being "turned on". A lot of work goes into seducing a woman in a fresh, new relationship without any history. When there's familarity, even in a ... (read in full...)
His parent's think he can do better, so he split up with me.
Q. A little over 3 months ago, i cheated on my boyfriend of almost 2 years. i made a really really bad choice, lied about it (which made it way worse), and there is no excuse. at the time, i was facing alot of personal issues and was really confused ...
A. 26 July 2007: Well, the first thing I’d have to say is his parents are not the problem. In fact, that is their son, and they have every right to make statements like that. If he didn’t feel the same way on some level, he would have stayed. So, let’s not point any ... (read in full...)
I want a fresh start for my kids and I, away from their abusive dad but I don't know how to begin
Q. I don't know where to turn. I have been married for 24 years and the relationship has had more struggles than joyful times. The problems range from physical and emotional abuse, my eating disorder 10 years ago, my husband having an affair with ...
A. 24 July 2007: You already made the first step and don't even know it. Most people by nature are not fans of change, and this is especially so in marriage. It amazes me how people stay in a bad relationship even though every fiber in their body is screaming "GET ... (read in full...)
How Do I Approach/Talk To Women when I'm Socially Inept?
Q. I'm 21, a student and my problem is I'm socially inept when it comes to approaching/talking to women. Men I can talk to whenever etc have no probs. Am funny, loose and a right 'mans man', just make everyone laugh etc. Women however, I just dont know ...
A. 24 July 2007: Not a problem, my friend. Let me know how it works, and if you still feel hesitant, hit me up on email, and I'll give you some tips. No cheesy one liners, the real stuff.... (read in full...)
I caught my husband cheating with his best friend; now he wants an open relationship with her and I. I can't accept it, what should I do? I'm desperate
Q. I recently caught my husband and best friend in an affair that as it turns out has been going on for seven years. She has always been around the house several times a week for the entire time. I thought something was going on about 4 years ago and ...
A. 24 July 2007: Words can't express how angry this post made me. It pains me to see you go through all the motions to accept this and actually try to salvage what is (in your mind) your relationship. Unfortunately, it seems as though your husband has made a ... (read in full...)
He said 'Good Girl' as i was giving him oral.
Q. I have several problems that I am not sure how to deal with. Firstly, I am concerned that I am getting too intimate with my boyfriend too soon (I feel this was the problem in my previous relationship even though we had known each other for year...
A. 23 July 2007: oops... typo -
"It’s rather unselfish and disrespectful" should read
"It’s rather selfish and disrespectful"... I was pissed when I was writing...
Sorry... (read in full...)
What's the general opinion of Dr. Phil's view on porn?
Q. What do you guys/girls think about Dr. Phil's view on porn? He considers it unhealthy and intrusive to the relationship: http://drphil.com/articles/article/54/ ...
A. 23 July 2007: I think Dr. Phil is an amazing talent, and he has a lot of good points, but I definitely disagree with him on a LOT of things (especially now that his title should be Commercial Phil instead of Dr. Phil). I've actually seen one of his shows where we ... (read in full...)
He said 'Good Girl' as i was giving him oral.
Q. I have several problems that I am not sure how to deal with. Firstly, I am concerned that I am getting too intimate with my boyfriend too soon (I feel this was the problem in my previous relationship even though we had known each other for year...
A. 23 July 2007: Wow, this one is all over the map. I have to sort these things out logically before I can even attempt to comment, and it looks like the problems I can see here are: 1. Congratulations! You are officially reaching your sexual peak! It’s a kno... (read in full...)
How Do I Approach/Talk To Women when I'm Socially Inept?
Q. I'm 21, a student and my problem is I'm socially inept when it comes to approaching/talking to women. Men I can talk to whenever etc have no probs. Am funny, loose and a right 'mans man', just make everyone laugh etc. Women however, I just dont know ...
A. 23 July 2007: The first thing you need to realize is that you are not socially inept. The fact that you find it hard to talk to a woman does not mean you're some kind of freak, every man has been afraid to approach or talk to women at some point in their lives. I ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend and I broke up recently and I'm suffering from the sex withdrawal
Q. I've recently broke up with my long term girlfriend. Withdrawel is really starting to kick in. I really miss her! Kissing, being together, talking everyday, and last but not least; SEX! I just feel like I want to be doing these things with her ...
A. 23 July 2007: I've always found it ironic that whenever a woman expresses her depression or difficulty adjusting to a breakup, she typically gets a long consoling talk from someone. But when a guy has the same feelings (although you expressed yours in quite a ... (read in full...)
We've gotten along much better since we broke up but I want to be more than his f**k buddy
Q. Broke up with my boyfriend of 9 months about a month ago because he didnt want to be in a relationship. The week before we broke up it was very tense between us ( silly little arguments etc) But since we have broken up (even the day after!) we g...
A. 22 July 2007: There are two potential ways of looking at it, and I'm going to focus primarily on one, because it seems to me that a lot of people are missing the point when it comes to love and relationships. It's funny what happens sometimes when we let go of ou... (read in full...)
I'd love to open my own hair salon before my time runs out; am I too old? Is this a crazy idea?
Q. hi there everyone I no this is a relationship advice site but i have a small question... I am currently a receptionist and to be honest i am tired of my job and i am contempating starting my own business. I am 24 and i thinking of going in to the ...
A. 22 July 2007: Actually, in a very abstract way, this is the perfect place to post that question! It's honestly a question of love and passion. If you don't have a love and a passion for the career you choose, you won't be truly satisfied and fulfilled at least... (read in full...)
SITE NEWS: Moderators needed!
Q. Hi, with the site getting busier all the time I'm looking for new volunteer moderators... PLEASE READ THIS CAREFULLY BEFORE RESPONDING -- many moderators drop out after just a couple of weeks so if you're not committed please don't apply! ...
A. 22 July 2007: Andrew, I absolutely love what this site does, and the opportunity it has given me, personally. I would be honored to be considered as a moderator. I can assure you that I have plenty of time to devote to the assignment, and if you check my advice ... (read in full...)
I love here and have been with her for 10 years but I still don't know if she's "the one" and I'm ready for marriage!
Q. My girlfriend and I have been together for nearly 10 years. We love each other and many things are great. She's made it pretty clear that she's more than ready to make the commitment of marriage, and I'm not denying that that's where we might head, ...
A. 17 July 2007: Marriage is a very serious thing, and no one should walk into it lightly. So, it’s a very good thing that you’re actually taking the time to logically sort through the issue before making a decision. But let’s look at this objectively. You... (read in full...)
What makes a woman physically attractive?
Q. I am just curious. This one is for the men. What do you like to see in women based on physical appearance on how they look?...
A. 14 July 2007: Who cares what I like? Who cares what he likes? I can sit here and tell you my idea of the perfect physical woman. As soon as I finish telling you that, and another woman who looks totally different walks by, then I'll be attracted to her. Sexy is ... (read in full...)
I noticed that she has been Googling romantic getaways and has also logged onto free Online Email Greeting cards with "Love" and "Missing You" titles. Do I have something to worry about?
Q. I am a 40 year old married man. Recently I discovered that my wife has a hidden HotMail account that I am not suppose to know of. I have not confronted her yet and don't want to as I would like to see if there is a way I can tap into her email ...
A. 14 July 2007: Love is not a court of law, and you are not required to submit proof before you ask questions about something this important.
This certainly does sound fishy, but I think you're attempting to approach it the wrong way. When you're in a relation... (read in full...)
Would sex help relax my girlfriend who is stressed? What else can I do for her?
Q. just curious here. This is probably mainly for the girls than the guys. Would you say that sex is a good stress reliever and that it relaxes you when your stressed? If so are there any tips that you can give me that helps you relax more and that can ...
A. 13 July 2007: Sex is definitely a good stress reliever, but sometimes when you’re overly stressed, the last thing you think about is having sex. Women are different from men (generally) in that there are infinitely many factors that get them aroused. They need to ... (read in full...)
My wife cheated repeatedly; I gave her another chance but she still sees the men she was unfaithful with
Q. My wife has had sex with more then a few guys on the side. A few were her coworkers. Our marriage was falling apart rapidly because of her infidelity and deciet. One day I had enough of her abuse and threats of divorce so I told her I was looking ...
A. 13 July 2007: My friend, you know the answer in your heart already. You wrote: “When I asked her to stop contact with these guys, she refused” As a man who has been cheated on (and returned the favor I’m ashamed to say) there is one thing about cheatin... (read in full...)
Should my boyfriend be supportive of me? I feel hes not being supportive enough from what he has said.
Q. For the past month I've been really down and depressed for a mixture of reasons. It can be debated about whether or not I have real reasons to be feeling like this or if it's just me being depressed for no good reasons. A few reasons why I ha...
A. 13 July 2007: Oops... Typo "I’m saying throw your cares away and just let what happens happen." Should read I’m NOT saying throw your cares away and just let what happens happen.... (read in full...)
Any tips on how I set up a special romantic night for him?
Q. Hello, my bf and i have a 3 year annyversary and we both happen to be broke. He will get a hotel room for us to have a romantic night, but i would want to make it special.... I would also like to kind of set up a table, little dinner, but i dont ...
A. 13 July 2007: Ahhhh… I absolutely adore you two. I wish more people had questions like that. Here’s the thing – romance is CHEAP. It’s all about quality and atmosphere. So here’s some suggestions based on experience: Make your anniversary celebration last as ... (read in full...)
I want more of a commitment from him before having sex. How should I proceed?
Q. My bf has had sex with two of his ex gf's and I've never had sex at all, not even with him. He wants to have sex with me and I want to have it with him too but the fact that hes been with someon else before me unsettles me a lot. I don't like the ...
A. 13 July 2007: This is a tough one when you first look at it because EVERYONE has an opinion on sex. Some say that it’s meant to be shared only by two committed people, some say that it’s just sex and you can’t equate it with love. Some will tell you to hold on ... (read in full...)
Should my boyfriend be supportive of me? I feel hes not being supportive enough from what he has said.
Q. For the past month I've been really down and depressed for a mixture of reasons. It can be debated about whether or not I have real reasons to be feeling like this or if it's just me being depressed for no good reasons. A few reasons why I ha...
A. 13 July 2007: From a guy’s perspective – No you’re not depressed over nothing. These emotions you have are not strange or crazy. Financial issues, relationship issues (jealousy) the stress of school, any ONE of these things is enough to put anyone in a tailspin... (read in full...)
I want this marriage to work but hubby ignores me! What can I do?
Q. Hi everyone. I dont know y I'm doing this, but my heart just lead me to do this. I've been very edgy on and off about issues relating to my husband. Ours was a love marriage and we just celebrated (was no talking to each other for 2days till the a...
A. 13 July 2007: I’ve been struggling with how to answer this (writing and re-writing), because I feel your pain through the screen and I really want to say something to give you some hope. But I honestly don’t have a clear understanding of what’s actually happening ... (read in full...)
I need some new flirting ideas
Q. There's this one guy in particular who I like and I try to flirt with him the best way I know how, eye contact, touching, making him laugh and just generally trying to be a good friend. He responds well to it all and even flirts back, but I'm tired ...
A. 13 July 2007: I guess my question to you is... "why would you be afraid to make the first move?"
I know, sounds easy huh? But when it comes down to it, it's tough to do. Look, you can spend all day thinking of things to say and do, and nothing may ever come of ... (read in full...)
I am attracted to other girls. Does that mean I am not comitted to my girl?
Q. I am a 26 year old male. I have been with my girlfriend (who is the same age) for two years now, we rent a place together and it has got to the stage where we are looking to buy somewhere. Obviously this means more commitment. I am worried becau...
A. 13 July 2007: Your situation is NOT unique. Look, if you stopped finding other women attractive, there would be something WRONG with you. So, that's not the issue. What does concern me is that you have started to dwell on this other friend of yours. That means ... (read in full...)
We talk, we cuddle, we have sex. But he says we are just friends!
Q. I met this guy online. We met, had a couple of dates then he said it wouldn't work. A few weeks later he contacted me again to see how I was and to apologize for hurting me. We now get together and see each other. He says we are just friends and ...
A. 13 July 2007: Sounds like he's not ready for commitment, or he's afraid to trust. From the outside looking in (based solely on what you wrote) he wants all the benefits of a relationship without the responsiblity of one. Contrary to what the mass media says, men ... (read in full...)
What is the key to have great sex? The one time we did, she told me what to do. But she said she doesn't like giving orders!
Q. I have been in a relationship for a few months with someone that I am very serious about and I am very much attracted to. I have not had a lot of experience with sex but even less experience in serious relationships. My partner complains that I ...
A. 12 July 2007: Wow, reading this takes me back. You remind me of myself when I had sex for the first time. I made the decision to wait until I was married, and being a virgin with a beautiful young wife was a recipe for horrible sex. To say it was awkward would be ... (read in full...)
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