A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:just curious here. This is probably mainly for the girls than the guys. Would you say that sex is a good stress reliever and that it relaxes you when your stressed? If so are there any tips that you can give me that helps you relax more and that can calm you down when your stressed so that i can try them out on my gf as she has been very stressed lately and always seems anxious when it comes to stuff like this but she has never been before. Also what sort of activites could we do to give her a relaxing day out but fun at the same time, maybe stuff to take her mind off things. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 July 2007): Hi darling,
Alot of the aunts have fab ideas, I find that a lovely massage and sex most def does it for me love, also just making things generally a little easier on the home front helps to, You sound like a caring b/friend so im sure you will do just great at any thing you do to help your girl... TAKE CARE OF YOU LOVE MANDY XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (14 July 2007):
I think Malyce_Synn72 pretty much said it all. I would do the coupon idea that she suggested.
Often females like talking about their problems, so ask her if she wants to talk about whats stressing her out, and listen to what she has to say, tell her you understnad shes stressd out and that you would be too if you were in that situaiton.
Having someone listen and know they understand how you feel goes a longgggg way :)
As for taking her mind off things, I think doing some sort of sport helps. Even if you arent into sport you can still do it. Its been proven it helps with stress thats why many pros recomend you do sport around exam times.
As for the sex bit, personally I would say no it wouldnt help, but your partner may be different, perhaps try it and see.
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A
male
reader, leonard j.Douglas  +, writes (14 July 2007):
Perhaps you are having a problem at your communicational level. You ever ask her what's going with her. Seems to me that would be the first place to begin to solve both your problems, Please Note, I said both your problems because if she has problems,so do you. And no advise is going to be helpful to you unless you know what's going on with her.It's the best place to start, Wouldn't you say?
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 July 2007): Make coupons for her. Put in them, will do the dishes, will do laundry, will give a foot massage, will paint toenails, will take you out for dinner, will take you out for dinner, will take you to a movie, will order your favorite food and veg on the couch, plus add a spa gift certificate for her and another for two.
The best thing you can do is listen to her. Don't try to offer her advice, don't try to fix anything as she can ask for your advice and help when she needs it, hug her lots and give her kisses.
Also, pick up a book or cd by John Gray, Ph. D Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus as it is chalk full of how to love and support one another they way they need.
Best Wishes.
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A
female
reader, penta  +, writes (13 July 2007):
 Depends a lot on WHY I'm stressed. If I'm overwhelmed by all the stuff I need to get done, then taking time for sex makes me more stressed.
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A
male
reader, nigelfuxwell +, writes (13 July 2007):
 Sex is definitely a good stress reliever, but sometimes when you’re overly stressed, the last thing you think about is having sex. Women are different from men (generally) in that there are infinitely many factors that get them aroused. They need to be turned on, feel sexy, feel desired, be comfortable, blah blah blah. We typically need a stiff breeze and we’re ready to roll.So while my answer isn’t “no”, it’s not the total solution. If you want to relax your girl, you hit the nail on the head with your own statement:“give her a relaxing day out but fun at the same time, maybe stuff to take her mind off things”What is she into? Music? Nature? The beach? Shopping? Just taking a long drive and talking? Working out? I’m listing a bunch of things, because a) I don’t know what she’s into and b) you might want to think of “outside the box” ideas. The trick is – make it a surprise. Wake her up or pick early, or surprise her by picking her up from work/school and take her somewhere. While you’re driving, don’t tell her where you’re going. Don’t plan too much. Plans suck. Sketches rock! What I mean is, have an idea, but go with the flow and be spontaneous. Maybe you want to drive her to a store, pick out a picnic basket and fill it with stuff. Get some flowers. Drive to the beach or country or park and spend time together enjoying each other’s company. If she seems stressed out still, tell her to spill everything on her mind. There may be things she hasn’t even told you, but if you make her comfortable, she’ll get it off her chest. Don’t try to solve her problems if you can’t but maybe suggest ways to help her get through her issues. Most importantly, LISTEN.Next, take her home. Run a hot bubble bath. Buy her a nice simple set of comfortable lingerie or pajama set. Light candles in the bathroom, and bathe her. Don’t focus on her private areas, but make it seductive. Have fun, and make her laugh. Don’t be afraid to make a fool out of yourself, because the more she laughs (even at you) the less she’s thinking about her problems. Wash her hair while the music plays, and then towel her off slowly. By then, if she’s turned on, then you do everything in your book of tricks to make her absolutely happy. Don’t think about your pleasure, think about hers. The trick is to do it as frequently as possible. Life is tough, and whatever you do is going to be a diversion to her stress, so your job is going to be to do this regularly. Don’t be surprised if she doesn’t loosen up right away, it may take a few tries before she starts to flow with it. But if you do it right and enough, she will start to fixate on that. The anticipation of your insanely relaxing romantic days and nights will be what dominates her brain, which will make it easier for her to attack the issues that are causing her stress…Hope that helps.
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A
female
reader, flower girl +, writes (13 July 2007):
 For me sex is a fantastic stress reliever, also a very sensual massage with oils does the trick, a relaxing day out i find is a nice picnic in the country and a stroll afterwards.
Obviously just my opinion.
Take care.xx.
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