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female
,
anonymous
writes: There's this one guy in particular who I like and I try to flirt with him the best way I know how, eye contact, touching, making him laugh and just generally trying to be a good friend. He responds well to it all and even flirts back, but I'm tired of just flirting all the time and I'm too afraid to make the first move. Any better ideas for flirting? Or even ideas for conversation? Sometimes we run out of things to talk about and I think that's one thing that's holding us back.
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female
reader, penta  +, writes (13 July 2007):
 Just ask him out for coffee. Seriously.
A
male
reader, nigelfuxwell +, writes (13 July 2007):
 I guess my question to you is... "why would you be afraid to make the first move?"
I know, sounds easy huh? But when it comes down to it, it's tough to do. Look, you can spend all day thinking of things to say and do, and nothing may ever come of it. In your situation, there are only really three options I see. Either he's not interested in you like that, he's already got a girl (or guy), or he's really shy. Let's assume shy's the case. He's shy, you're kinda shy... So you both spend all this time thinking of things to say and do to communicate attraction. Chances are, he's doing the same thing... Right now... So what you're doing is WASTING TIME. I used to be deathly afraid to talk to women, much less tell one I was interested. It was like walking to my DEATH the first time I made the first move on a woman. And you know what? She rejected me. In front of about 10 people.
But you know what? I lived. After I did it the first time, I realized that the more you're honest about how you feel with people (within REASON - don't tell the guy you wanna have his kids or anything) the more you'll find that you get the answers you're hoping for. Or at least it gets you closer to finding the one you want.
My point is, be honest with him. Instead of you two trying to think of things to say... Just freakin talk about nothing... And if you want to let a guy know you're interested, what worked for me when I was painfully shy was a girl would do something a friend wouldn't. Like, hold my hand spontaneouly... Or I remember one night, a girl I was too afraid to express myself to kissed me on the cheek at the right moment. I don't know what happened, but I grabbed her face and kissed her back. Message received, message sent... Or even something like just sayin... "I really like you..." It's not an admission of love or lust... But it is a conversation starter. It will be uncomfortable as hell for about 5 minutes, but trust me... You'll know where you stand when the conversation is over.
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A
female
reader, LISAG +, writes (13 July 2007):
 There is a rather good conversation topic you can casually slip in anytime - (I heard it recently on the radio) It can determine whether this flirting back is innocent playfulness or maybe a deeper desire. You have to watch closely for the reaction when you say the following, as people will give themselves away if you watch/listen closely. All you need to say is "oh I had this weird dream that you and I were kissing" (making out if USA) "how funny/weird is that"!? Don't be put off if you think he'll think "Oh my God she's dreaming about me". I, along with many friends have had odd random dreams along these lines about people I/we don't even fancy! (I.e. my 50 yr old boss who's not attractive at all)
If he dosen't react with a "Oh really...." and just goes quiet and changes the topic, there's your answer. If he likes you equally, he'll love the thought of it, as he's probably already been thinking about hopefully doing the exact thing wtih you!
If he reacts negatively/goes quiet/changes topic, you're covered as it's only a dream! We all have weird dreams that don't really mean anything, he'll know that too!
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (13 July 2007):
 the key to playing the singles game is all about oozing self confidence! there is also nothing sexier to a guy wen a girl makes the first move or suggestive comments!as for the conversation - this is normal wen there is an attraction between two people and you just need to ignore it and be as comfortable as you can with him! try adding in comments like 'so wen are you going to take me out?' or try bringing up a great club or restaurant that you know and suggest the two of you go there - if you say these in a casual flirty way he wont resist!!plus the hard part is over - you know he likes you!good luck hun go for it!!!xxx
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