A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Hi there. I'd be very grateful for some suggestions from women out there on how I can remain attractive to my man in a long term relationship. I sense he is very dissatisfied with me - disgruntled to the extent of having low self esteem. He doesn't want to talk about our problems since he does not want to hurt my feelings. He doesn't want to say something he might regret in other words. So, what qualities should a woman have to keep a relationship healthy and sexually energised in the long-term? Thank you for any thoughts! I'm worried he might have an affair. We have had penetrative sex less than five times in the last three years. This may be symptomatic of bigger problems under the surface. We have been together for 12 years and have two children - aged 4 and 2.
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female
reader, MonicaC  +, writes (12 September 2009):
 I'm sorry you're having problems, and I'm not sure if I can offer any advice that is useful. However, I'm willing to give it a go.Long-term relationships can change over time, and people begin to want different things periodically. This doesn't have to mean the end of the relationship. But, it does mean that both people have to be willing to put their cards on the proverbial table and discuss the issues. And, then, both people have to be willing to work on keeping the relationship strong.It all sounds very well on paper or on a web page, but putting it into application is a bit trickier. About your mate's changes in sexual tastes, you know that could just be a normal change. It doesn't always mean a man is having an affair. I had a very good friend once who stopped enjoying penetrative sex with his wife, and they just did all of the other stuff. If that's not good enough, then you really do need to let him know that.As to how you can keep yourself appealing to him, well, you need to be content with yourself for a start. If you like how you look and who you are, then it will be easier for him to feel the same way. Life takes its toll on all of us as we age. So, we have to work hard to stay fresh and feel good about ourselves. Try a new look, a nice outfit, a spa weekend to get your skin rejuvenated. Eat well. Get plenty of rest. And, change up your routine a bit. If he's begun to take you for granted, why not spice things up a bit and don't do what it's your habit to do all the time. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 September 2009): Honey I will tell you this. There has to be another women or somethings. If he is not giving you what you bump that it is not about your feelings anymore stand up to him ask what do you want from me. If I am not the woman for you let me go so that I can move on in my life. All you are doing at this point is hurting yourself.Ask yourself these questions: Dose he make me happy, complete me, some questions like that and if your answer is no then do what you have to do. I know that you have children but sometimes it is best to leave because children can sense when things are wrong so do not put them through all of that do what you may think is the best thing to do for the whole family
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