A
female
age
41-50,
*rimaldestiny2
writes:I am in a new relationship of 2 months with my partner. (both female) She and I have started out very well and have said that we will be honest with each other even if it's not something the other person wants to hear. Last night I went out and got really drunk. She's not here, she lives in another city and visits often or I see her. I was with a friend who invited some guys back to my place. She then left me with 3 guys in my apartment while I was drunk. After about an hour of convincing the guys to leave, they left. One was hitting on me hardcore. I ended up telling her about it this morning because I felt guilty that they were even here. I didn't do anything, but now I feel like since I told her they were here, she is questioning things. I'll talk to her again later..should I just drop it and talk about it if she brings it up? Or should I try to reassure her that I am trustworthy? At the end of the day, alcohol is no longer going to be a part of my life.
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female
reader, MonicaC +, writes (26 July 2009):
 I think it's good that you told her. Even if it upset her somewhat, she knows that you want to be honest and keep the record straight with her. That's so important in relationships, especially when you live in different cities. I definitely think you need to give her a little time to come to terms with what you told her and just let the matter rest. If she brings it up again, then by all means explain how sorry you are and that your desire is to have a solid, honest relationship. If she doesn't bring it up, I would leave it alone.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2009): If you've just told her, she might need a day or two just to calm down/think it through. I'm sure she'll realise that you are trustworthy - to be honest it's not that big of a deal. So long as you didn't do anything with the blokes I can't really see what the problem is, she's probably more angry with the idea/the blokes than she is with you! Good luck, xx
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (26 July 2009):
 yes bring it up if you feel bad about it and talk to her.
explain you are trustworthy and you've learnt your lesson and wont be drinking again.
im sure she will forgive you if she loves you.
good luck!
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A
female
reader, Chay +, writes (26 July 2009):
 Hey honey. Why not trying to reassure her that you told her because you felt guilty, and you feel very strongly in the relationship that you’re in. I’m sure she will understand that your honesty was important, and necessary for your relationship. Also put yourself in her position, how would you feel if she told you that she got very drunk and was in her place with three guys? Even though nothing happened it is bound to upset someone. Obviously because she lives quite far away she won’t be able to do much about it, and feel out of reach. I can imagine how you feel, I’ve been with my partner for over a year and I would really dislike myself if I thought I hurt her even in the smallest way. Let her know she can trust you completely and you love her loads. Tell her things that you would like to here. Good luckChay x
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