A
female
age
30-35,
*randys3799
writes:HellloooI am trying to conceive. The only problem is i have no idea when i am fertile. Every website tells me a different date. I have only been trying for 2 months now. I have been off birth control that long as well. Any suggestions on what to do? Or how to speed this process up?Thanks so much!
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female
reader, missmel34  +, writes (14 December 2007):
 I'm trying to be honest. If you were my daughter thats exactly the same lecture I'd give her. You've chosen your path, and its obvious that nothing anyone says is going to change it.
Sending you big hugs though. Whether you want to believe it or not, being a young mum is a hard road.
God Bless
A
female
reader, brandys3799 +, writes (14 December 2007):
brandys3799 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for the info i was looking for jamesy4444! you have stayed on the topic unlike the other rude people who want to lecture! I have been off the pill for almost 2 mths now.
I was on it for 4 years. but yes thanks i will keep trying! thanks so much!
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A
female
reader, missmel34 +, writes (14 December 2007):
Wow, your lifes together before you turn 21. You own your own home, you've been to uni and started a career and have some money behind you. I'm sorry I assumed that a young girl barely past her teens would have not have her life TOGETHER.
I'm sure you have great maturity and lot to offer a child.
Good luck to you and your husband for the future then.
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A
female
reader, brandys3799 +, writes (13 December 2007):
brandys3799 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks for all that information.
but i want to be done haveing kids by the time im 25.. i do not want to be an old mom. and my life is TOGETHER so thanks anyway...any suggestions please tell
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A
female
reader, missmel34 +, writes (13 December 2007):
I had my first child at 23, I was married at 22. I see by your age description that your 18 to 21.
I want to just say, that having a child when you are young has positives and negatives. As a positive, I'm still young and full of energy and have a good relationship with my girls, we like the same clothes and listen to the same music.
However, I don't think I could let your question go past without telling you some of the negatives of being a young mum.
When my daughter was born, like all first borns it was a complete shock to the system. And as most first time mums discover, I really wasn't prepared for breastfeeding with split and cracked nipples and sleepless nights. I became emotional, upset....and as the months past I realised that my equally young husband really wasn't all that into having a baby now that he felt how much hard work it was...so basically I was alone.
We were renting, with no money behind us, the bills were piling up, we were fighting all the time. He became resentful of me and our daughter. The car broke down and we didn't have the money to fix it, so we had to rely on public transport.
Because we were renting we had to move every year to 2 years because the properties ended up being put on the market. We struggled for money, because I had not finshed my education at university and we only relying on his income. Moving around in the beginning and not having alot of money was not so bad, but as my children got older, they had to keep changing schools. They had friends who had parents who had done it the right way round, who owned their own home, who had a good paying job and career. I have felt for many years that I really let my kids down in some respects. I made the decision to have children because I really thought it would be this romantic wonderful thing to share with the man I loved, but in reality it has been so hard.
My marriage failed. After many years of the 2 of us treating each other very badly and my kids being witness to it. I found myself alone with 3 children, no money, no education, no home. No future, and I had to fight, not only for myself but these 3 little souls who didn't ask to be brought along for the ride. I finished my education, got a good job, a home for them. And now after many years we are finally settled. But it was so very very hard to do with kids, with childcare fees and clothing them, feeding them.
My point in all this, its hard sweetie. Theres a reason why people to it the "right" way. You get an education, get married, buy a home and then have children.
In this day and age of expenses and demands its to difficult any other way. And if you think you can manage on welfare you can't. My daughter got sick, she needed an operation, I had no health insurance..I couldn't afford it, and the waiting list in the public hospital was 2.5 years, so I had to sell everything and borrow money to do it.
I tell you this as if you were one of my own daughters. You have a lifetime ahead of you, don't take the hard road. You have a choice to walk an easier one, finish your education, get a career.....buy a home, then think about kids.
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A
male
reader, Jamesy4444  +, writes (13 December 2007):
 It depends on how long u have been on the pill. The longer u have been on it the longer the effects last after you stop it. After my ex wife came of the pill it took us over 12 months to concieve, so just keep trying and enjoy it!!
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