A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:o.k. time to spill:: i have been with {umm i'll call him "j"} for almost 2 years now! Things aren't going so great anymore since his car wreck because he is too controlling and stuck up my butt 24/7. + he's jealous over me! and i'm tired of it. So there's "r" the x he's nothing like that. he's more chilled and layed back. well he wants me back. i cheated on "j" with him twice. but when i did it just didn't feel right and i wanted "j" back. but when i'm with "j" i want the x "r". My stomach is twisted i can't eat and i'm always feeling sick and frustrated! please ...any~1--give me an opinion!!! please.
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female
reader, missmel34  +, writes (14 December 2007):
 You have unresolved feelings for your "r". And you probably know that your relationship with "j" is almost on its way out.
I think you should make a clean slate of it. Neither one of these relationships are satisfying you. They aren't making you happy. Why? Only you can answer that. I guess the one thing that is for sure, you're not going to find what you're looking for with either one of these guys. Read what you've written here. No where in your question do I see love, you don't love either of them. They are convenient and probably fill an emotional/sexual need but thats about it.
You're young, thats what your supposed to do, your learning about who you really are what you really want from life.
Your question just shows me a young girl still trying to sort all of that out.
Cut both and move on.
A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 December 2007):
 My opinion is you have issues deeper than not being able to figure out who to be with. Your lack of being able to make a decision is how it surfaces.
Does your boyfriend know about you cheating? Has that been hidden still? Do you still feel guilt over doing so? If you do, that's a good place to start to resolve what your facing now.
I know you're probably thinking I'm some nut just taking guesses. But if your still feeling guilty you're still doing damage to your ability to have a satisfying relationship. People also don't feel sick where they have trouble eating just by being in a decision making process of who to date.
So you need to do some major thought to see why you are so frustrated. Are there fears you possess that are interrupting your abilities. These issues can be caused by so many different things. Start weeding through your emotions and you'll figure it out.
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