A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm not sure if I'm okay with the open relationship I have with my boyfriend.I don't think ordinarily I'd be so worried or upset, but the girls he wants to go after are thinner than me, and it makes me feel very self-conscious. Like, if he's going after them, is that the kind of body he wants?Also adding to the issue is that we haven't had sex much lately, and I worry he's not attracted to me as much anymore.What should I do? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (15 December 2007):
You say you are worried that he wants a girl with a thin body...no he wants as many girls as he can have, all at once! He wants a girl who he can manipulate into using. Thats waht he wants. Someone who will step down and settle for being 2nd best, or 3rd, or 4th...depending on how many girls he has really.
You ask what can you do? Get out of this! Dump him! You deserve SO SO SO much more. You deserve a TRUE bf, not some lame non-exclusive "bf"...I mean you cant even hoenstly call him a bf. A true realtionship involves respect, but there simply is and can be none in a open relationship.
I think most females would have issues with being in a open relationship. And even many males. In fact, anyone would have an issue with it when they fall in love with someone or have deep feelings for them. So there is nothing wrong with you feeling this way. Its hard to trust someone who is going out and geting wiht other girls, infact I dont think there could be any trust in a open relationship.
Basically, what you want is not waht you are geting. You could try and see if he would consider being jsut with you, but in all honestly, iwouldnt even do that. My guess is hes wants a open relationship and wont change anytime soon. But perhaps you need to give him that chance for closure. Either way, I just hope that you realise you deserve a whole lot more, and do not settle for less then what you want and what you deserve!
A
female
reader, missmel34 +, writes (14 December 2007):
 An open relationship huh.
Do you see other guys, or is it just him seeing other girls?
Sweetie hes playing you, its obvious this is not ok with you, its effecting the way you see yourself. When we start to lose self esteem in a relationship its time to get out.
Tell him you aren't comfortable with this arrangement anymore. Be honest with him. You could try to renegotiate the relationship, but you know what, don't be disappointed if it doesn't work out.
Open relationships might work for some people, for me its just being casually committed. A true relationship is when you are with a guy and he only has eyes for you, he adores you, loves you...and the thought of you being with another man would destroy him....thats true love.
Ask yourself what kind of relationship do you want? When you get the answer go and find it, don't compromise on love .....lifes far to short for that.
Good luck
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A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (14 December 2007):
 You are not ok with this clearly. Because his affairs bothers you and it appears it will bother you in any case.
Why and how did you accept open relationship, explain please.
did you go after any man, how did he react?
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