A
female
age
36-40,
*mj85
writes:Hi everyoneJust need your advice really as Im confused. I have been with my boyfriend for 3 and a bit months now and we have slept together an all but I am confused as to how he feels and if he is actually wanting a committed relationship. We have talked in general about what we want to do and achieve in the future and we both agreed that we want kids and to be married and he says he loves me quite often especially during and after we made love. And me him, but I would say it everyday but dont want to smother him. We dont just meet up for sex we meet up almost every opportunity we can and go to the cinema, bowling and he has cooked me a meal a couple of times by candle light and me him. We spend a lot of time on foreplay and we have long cuddles after and the morning after but sometimes he gives me the impression that he is not happy but when I ask him he answers simply yeah I'm fine!!! I don't know how to tell if he does really love me or not. He texts me everyday and has bought me a piece of jewellery ( a necklace with the symbol of my fav tv programme)I bought him a wallet with his fav football team logo on. He has met my mum and I have met his dad and he's met my mates and always holds my hand and puts his arm around me when we're out but there is just something I'm not sure about. We have both never had relationships before so I dont expect him to be romeo and come on his valiant steed. He gives me lots of hugs and kisses and shows me lots of affection but it's not as passionate and heated as when we first started going out. The heat and passion is still there but not as intense and I dont know if that's natural or if hes going off me.Can anybody help please, thanksxxxx
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female
reader, Emj85 +, writes (15 December 2007):
Emj85 is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for all your help guys. He came round last night and we had a chat. Im not going to see him now until next thursday (20th) because we are both busy. Thankyou x
A
female
reader, missmel34  +, writes (15 December 2007):
 All relationships have their own timing. What you have discribed is the initial stages of a relationship. But it takes time for it to mature and blossom.
If the guy was claiming his love for you all in a couple ...I'd be a bit concerned.
Just keep going, don't worry so much about what hes not saying. Hes there isn't he? He's showing you attention? Sweetie its all good. But a relationship takes time. Believe me, it is showing all the signs of being a beautiful love. Be careful not to analyse it so much you miss the point of how special it is.
Your looking for a small sign of commitment. Hes probably not ready to give you more than what he is. Talk to him, confirm that he sees you as his gf. Tell him you want to see him exclusively.
But at the end of the day, relax and enjoy the ride!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): Well sometimes you have to do the opposite of what you think you should do....you are probably smothering this entire thing by spending all of your free time together, you barely know each other at only 3 months and already you are way ahead thinking of the future, meeting parents, and figuring out which movie to go to every week....SLOOOOOW DOWN....get back to doing things you liked to do before you met him, it will make him wonder about you....he probably doesn't have any room left to pursue you and it is getting a bit like he is in a relationship and all of a sudden he doesn't have any say in how fast it is going or how serious he wants it to be...
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A
male
reader, Samutsen  +, writes (14 December 2007):
 I thiink you went a bit fast, both of you,out of optimisim and naiviete, by meeting your parents and talking about the future.
It is too early to say anything from the 3.5 moths relationship although it kick started very well as I can tell, may be it a bit jump started. So pull up the breakes, and do not think about long term at this moment, which would further scare him off.
But nothing is lost at this stage.
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