A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I work at an all girls school and this has not been a problem until now. I have always been in straight relationships, but recently - since the start of the year - I have had feelings for one student in particular. I can't understand it as I am sure I am straight, but everytime I look at her I get this rush of uncontrolable excitment and feel like I could burst any moment. Worse still, I think the girl in question has started to notice my different reactions to her than the rest of the class, though I try to hide them. However this hasn't scared her off at all and seems to be making us closer... But the closer we get the more desperate my reactions get! Am I lesbian? Should I tell her? Help me!
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reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust to let anyone who is curious to know what happened know, I left the school shortly after posting the question on this site. I have not seen the girl in question since and am in a relationship with another woman my own age now.Thanks for all your help, and to everyone who left hurtful comments implying that i was seeking rape etc - please don't do that to anyone else.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 December 2007): i've been through and am going through this aswell. one girl in particular who i have been friends with for about 4 years iv'e grown closer to. i know she is straight but that may be a lesbien. lately i've been seing more of her, and ive been wanting to spend more and more time with her. all i've learnt to do is deal with it because im to scared to confront her about worried she may avoid me. All i can say is find someone to talk to say a teacher/consiler for some advice on weather to confront her and other issues to do with it. i hope this has help, all the best.
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A
male
reader, rcn  +, writes (15 December 2007):
 You're going to have to control these feelings, I just want to expand on what may be causing this. Now if you were really only attracted to girls, that would take place both on campus and off.
I recently saw an investigative report into this subject. It wasn't just women checking out girls, it was all around at schools and why some of these inappropriate relationships begin.
You're at an all girls school. I'd assume these girls are a bit older and not young elementary students. Being around teen age students, who may be somewhat classified as "walking hormones" there is a term that is used, called transference. Speaking to a psychiatrist not long ago told me some stories on the subject. He could meet with a patient who's really have difficult problems, and when they leave, he actually received some of their aggression, depression, anxiety, etc. When around people who have intense anger and emotional issues, those issues can transfer upon others who spend an undetermined amount of time with them. It's the same aspect of what is told about being around a room of motivated and happy people "one bad apple can ruin the whole bunch."
You're around raging and developing hormones every day. It sounds as if part of the feelings within the sexual growth you're exposed too is transferring upon you, so you'd then feel a higher (sensual) feeling than normal.
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A
female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (14 December 2007):
 Ignore your feelings and control yourself, she will be moving on with her academic career and eventually your problem will solve itself. Be professional.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI just want to say that I came on her looking for some advise on how to deal with my feelings for this girl - ways of hiding/ forgeting them - yet all I have got so far are people calling me a rapist and saying i should quit my job. I thought that people on here would at least be considerate and help me.
The only person I would like to thank is 'rcn'. I was in a bit of a panic when writing this question, so wasn't actually planning to tell her about this. But if anyone could suggest anything I can do to help resolve this please do.
And as for the other people - I have spelt lesbian properly (I did not write the question title), and I am a science teacher at this school.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007): I agree with the last person, no wonder they push the rules soo far, teacher and student it probably not love you seeking just rape.
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A
female
reader, missmel34  +, writes (14 December 2007):
 I agree with rcn.
The fact is most people have to have a level of professional conduct in their work. Anything involving young adults/children even more so.
There is entire world of opportunities out there to meet people, why even consider a student from work. Not good I'm afraid.
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A
male
reader, fesd78  +, writes (14 December 2007):
Maybe you should ask yourself what she has that you want and maybe you look for that quality in a man.
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A
male
reader, rcn +, writes (14 December 2007):
You work at an all girls school? That means you have a duty that comes with your position to protect the students at the school. One big requirement in do that is not to get into a sexual relationship with a student. That would be overstepping your authority, and position.
There are certain rules of ethical behavior that need be followed, in schools or anywhere there is authority. One is not crossing boundaries within a school from authority figure to relationship.
I don't know if you like your job or not, but in your position, telling her would not be in your best interest. Most schools, and I'm sure they would do the same there, would immediately terminate your position as soon as anything was said about an employee student relationship.
If you have trouble maintaining yourself in this situation, then a school is not a place for you to be working.
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