A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i'm having a problem with this girl i'm dating, she's a 27 years old virgin who never been touched by a man ever. we are together for 4 years now and i have never seen her naked! i respect her wish of remaining virgin till marriage but it's killing me! i started considering having sex with another girl but i don't want to cheat on her i really like her. what should i do????
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 December 2007): She's using sex as a tool to control you. Break it off.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007): OK....first off....the heading said female 18-21 wrote....
well anyway...if you are a dude...then let me say this. How do you "like her"? I would have assumed that you "loved her", but who am I? Anyway...if this is a real post, then after 4 years....you should know if you want to marry her by now and she...should know if you are the one for her. If after talking and you two feel that you want to truly continue....then make a compromise. You waited all this time, so ask her if she is 'willing' to give you a hand job or something. If not...then 'do yourself'.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007): Well she probably just wants you to propose to her and marry her. I think that is pretty obvious. But if you don't want to marry her then just break up with her and then you can have sex. But don't cheat on her. That's wrong.
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A
female
reader, maggie1987  +, writes (14 December 2007):
 if you are tempted to cheat then you arent exactly respecting her wishes. her wishes will be to not have sex after marraige aswell as you not cheating so theres no point in continuing if your going to cheat
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007): If you really liked this girl as much as you say you do, there's no way you would consider cheating on her or having sex with another girl!
Don't you realise how much you would hurt your g/f by doin something so stupid? You could end up losing the best thing you ever had??
Its time to make a decision - do you want your g/f or do you want to footloose and free able to have sex with who ever? Certainly talk to you g/f about how your feeling on all this. After 4 years together you both should be able to sit down and talk things thro.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 December 2007): I dont belive in cheating at all but i understand were your coming from theres no way i would be able to not have sex for 4 years but at least you respect her wish'es try to talk to her about it. focuss on how it makes you both feel. but i do recommand this if you are going to sleep with someone else end this relationship because its wrong to do that. Dont leave the one you love for the one you lust because one day the one you lust will leave you for the one they love.
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A
female
reader, missmel34  +, writes (14 December 2007):
 Theres a few things that really disturbed me about this. Firstly when you say you really "like" your gf of 4 yrs. After being together with someone for such a long time, I would hope that you would love her. Secondly, theres a definite age difference between you. And lastly the fact that even though she is saving herself for marriage, that you don't seem to have any intimacy between you whatsoever.
I think that if your wanting to cheat tha there are some major issues in this relationship. I think you need to be honest that you are finding abstaoning from sex with her really difficult. You have to be honest with her on this one.
Maybe the reality is you are both really headed in 2 very different directions and inevitably are going to part ways. Either way, before you do something you might regret, communicate your feelings. And make the decision to break it off if you don't get the answer you need.
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A
female
reader, hello1 +, writes (14 December 2007):
 I really like her? don't you mean love her?? Also you been together for four years, why haven't you asked her to marry you by now? There's obviously big problems in your relationship, get out or ask her to marry you. It's been four years so...
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