A
female
age
51-59,
*azzapazza35
writes:why is my husband addicted to chatrooms and online flirting? why can't he realise what he's doing to me. i've caught him many times and every time he says it will stop. we have a brilliant relationship and hot sex life, so why does he need all this virtual stuff?
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chat room, flirt, sex life Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (21 December 2007): Sad thing is people will go so far after the chats wanting to meet these great and wonderfully sexually gifted people who really are people with no lives and a social assistance cheque every month people act on these sex convos sadly my husband was one of them he went that far..... even after I thought we were having a great sex life ....well we are currently working on our marriage now still trying to FORGIVE.
A
male
reader, Richard_EMids +, writes (14 December 2007):
 Get some photos of someone, a series of photos of the same woman who is not very attractive, you know ugly, bad teeth, unwashed hair, no make-up, a wart or two. Get a friend to write on the back of one of the photos something like "Loved our chat. Looking forward to seeing you soon, and a BIG kiss." No name. Poor handwriting is a must. And then get someone to post it to him, preferably in another town. A week later send another photo, with a different message, getting a bit more clingy. And the last one a week later, with something like "I waited outside your house today." Oh you can have some fun with this. You'll put him off for life.
Richard
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A
female
reader, happytochat  +, writes (14 December 2007):
He does it because its a ego boost, makes him feel good about himself knowing that other females are flirting with him and so on. With some people, no matter how much love and reassurance you give them, they still seek more from somewhere else, usualy this is when the person is insecure/has self doubts.
I think its pretty disrespectful what he is doing to you, especially considering he knows how it makes you feel but still continues to do it after promising not too.
If I am right and that the issue lies with some insecurities he may have, then he needs to sort that out so you and him can have a healthy relationship.
Have you actually asked him why he does it? Have you asked him why he says he will stop but conitnues to do it? What were his answers?
If you find out from him why he feels he does it, maybe together you can both work together to HELP him not do it again.
Also, you have to continue to stand your ground, make it clear that you wont accept his behaviour...if he feels he can get away with still doing it, he will. Thats pretty sad, but thats how many people work, if they can see they can get away with doing something, they will.
Hope this has helped :)
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A
female
reader, missmel34 +, writes (14 December 2007):
 Why do men do alot of things?
The problem is sweetie, sometimes our partner just doesn't see our relationship the same as we do. Some people need the thrill of flirting and mixing with the opposite sex. A monogamous relationship is very difficult for these people.
When our life is about work, family, responsibilities sometimes we crave a place where we can live out some degree fantasy. The internet is a haven for that. There was a time in my life, when I was stressed and going through alot, I discovered a chatroom. Wow, you go in, be who ever you want....talk to all these people from all over the world. It was exciting. But, you soon realise its all a bit ridiculous and you get back to the rest of your life.
Some people can't, they are addicted to the thrill of it. The game, the seduction, the escapism.
I think that in a marriage, this kind of thing can be a huge issue. It is a kind of betrayal, especially if you have both commited to a monogamous relationship. And the thoughts generated in these chat rooms, you have to wonder how long it will take before he wants more and will perhaps act on them.
I strongly recommend you consider couples therapy.
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