A
male
age
36-40,
*ustaGuy
writes:Hey all,I was with my ex for about 3 months but have known her since the start of uni (we have now both just graduated). She broke up with me before the summer holidays out of the blue, its been almost 3 weeks since the day she left and I still miss her so badly, i think about her all the time. I lay in bed at night jus staring at the walls thinking about her. It reallty hurts. I've had no contact with her and its killing me, we used to speak all the time. How long does this heartache last? I try and put up a brave face but i'm dieing inside.I know what i should do - go out, meet new girls, occupy yourself. I have no interest in other girls and I'm not in a financial position to go out and do things anyway.Part of me is afraid of being alone i think, i rarely meet girls I would think of dating/relationship and this makes losing my ex even harder.I just want her back.........
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male
reader, JustaGuy +, writes (13 July 2007):
JustaGuy is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHey thanks for the advice all,
What I did'nt mention is that she is coming back when the summer is over (start september), she will be living in the same place.
Its leaving me hanging because i still think there might be a chance that we could get back together when she comes back - although she didnt say this its just what i hope.
Its hurts to think she was willing to just throw it all away for the sake of a summer holiday - she promised me there was no one else and I do belive her.
A
female
reader, lah mouw  +, writes (13 July 2007):
 Yes yes, break ups are always hard. Don't beat yourself up for missing her though. It's only been three weeks and it takes more than that to get over someone you had/have feelings for. The best thing to do without getting too sad over it is being with friends. Doing things to help you relax, watching a funny movie just trying to be positive is always good. I know this has probably got you down in a rut but, you've got to try and make this okay. And have yourself be okay. Try and think about this relationship though, maybe you guys were just better off as friends. If she broke up with you to be "free" over the summer... thennn that's not right... You deserve someone that will love you unconditionally and all the time.
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A
female
reader, LISAG +, writes (13 July 2007):
 Each and every human being on this earth is afraid of being alone - fact! Time is the only thing that will dilute your feelings of hurt. You are right that you should go out, meet new girls, occupy yourself, find distractions. But in early stages of break up everyone feels depressed and not interested in anything other than wondering what they did wrong/didn't do right. Mope about for as long as you feel you need to, but I have to say that in the past I have moped over the odd guy, but then slowly but surely (sometimes very quickly) I have got myself back on track. Funny thing I have found, is that the next great person you meet seems to be so much better than the last! I have also felt soooo like you say, about rarely meeting someone really special. I consider myself a little out of the ordinairy and I won't settle for just anybody!
She's not coming back I doubt, so you have to look to the future and I would bet any money that in a year from now, you'll have met some other girl who's just as good, if not better and you'll wonder what all the fuss was about. Albeit, there is always someone who we never forget, who stands out fromt the crowd.
If you're short on money get a part time job to supplement your full time. I've worked f/t and p/t alot over last 6 years, not only does it open you up to meeting more people, it gives you the belief in yourself that you can be different, hard working and turn things around. Lack of money I find depressing. Personally I wouldn't be where I am now if I hadn't worked 2 jobs on & off - unusual but so worth it (most people can't be bothered/too lazy). Working hard is a great distraction from a lack of love life. I wouldn't own 2 houses, a Lotus Elise and a horse if I hadn't pushed myself a bit. People say money dosen't make you happy, which is correct, but it don't half help relieve boredom whilst you're looking for whatever makes you happy ! It also gives people confidence and security and it takes away the little worries. Everything is easier, even heartache... a billion more fish in the sea/pebbles on the beach - I bet you're thinking "yeah yeah" but in time you'll be fine! I know from experience.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (13 July 2007):
 i know its hard now but you will get past it. i think its better for you that you have no contact with her cos that would just remind you of wat you had. the best thing you can do is spend time with your friends and family and enjoy wat you do have - and look forward to the next great relationship you will have cos believe me you will have another chance!try and forget her - she obviously wasnt good enough for you and you need to be thankful that you now have the chance to be happy with the person you are actually meant to be with. hope this helps!!i know how hard it can be so get in touch if you need a shoulder. as they say 'this too shall pass..' - remember that xxx
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