A
male
age
36-40,
*ndy00
writes:My Long distance girlfriend of two years broke up with me just over 2 weeks ago completely out of the blue. A few days later, she went on holiday to Spain with all her friends for fun, sun, booze, and perhapps (I still hope not) A holiday romance.Because so soon after breaking up with me she went on holiday, I have had questions about our relationship/break-up running around in my head that I've not been able to ask her, and that's made things very hard for me. This is made worse knowing that she is on holiday having fun, and is probably not thinking about things even a fraction as much as I am.She comes back from holiday today. I plan to wait until she contacts me before contacting her. How do I approach asking her questions about our relationship/break up without irritating her? (Obviously, I don't want to make things worse)I'm quite sure she isn't going to want to discuss things due to the fact it was over 2 weeks ago now. I still want to, because I have been the one left to have these questions flow through my head like a stream of agony.Please give any advice as to how I can approach her with these things that tormented me for a very long fortnight.
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male
reader, Andy00 +, writes (13 July 2007):
Andy00 is verified as being by the original poster of the question lol. Yes I get what you're saying... I think. All the same, I'd still like to get in contact with her, found out how the holiday went, ect. I'm sure I could do that without us arguing. So maybe now isn't the time to venture into the reasons why this happened.
I still feel that, if I should not talk about "why" she broke up with me, I should atleast have the right to know why it happened so suddenly. I was one of those boyfriends (and I'm sure some will have had them) that likes to check how she thinks the relationship is going (After all, being in a long distance relationship, I feel it's my duty to know that she's handelling things ok). Sometimes she would just say "I don't know why you ask me that, you know we're absolutely fine!" And yet, I still wasn't told that things wern't fine until it was too late to change anything.
Opinions? (To this, and my first post)
A
female
reader, LISAG +, writes (13 July 2007):
 Truth is that people are cowards when it comes to telling people the real reasons they're just not interested anymore. Or maybe you could say people just dont want to hurt others feelings and it is sometimes best to be left wondering. I think we would all have massive complexes if everyone who finished with us told us the REAL reasons... so it's probably kinder just to skirt around the truth and make up excuses. Just move on, she sounds like she has, keep your dignity and dont ask her or contact her - that's what I would do. We all torment ourselves with "what did I do wrong", "why wasnt I good enough" etc etc etc .
I read this phrase a few weeks ago and it rang true with me... it said "some people like mangoes, some discover they dont like mangos, if you're a mango dont take it personally, there will be someone coming along somewhen who loves mangoes" I dont mean to compare you to a mango but this is a simple metaphor in which to take comfort. Well it worked for me ! Probably because I'm an noisey outgoing person (mango) and quiet people just find me too much/hard work. But other noisey outgoing people love me and can't stay away... get what Im saying ?
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