A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend and I have been dating for just over a year and as things may seem great to others. I'm not happy. We only chat on a chat site cos he lives about 2000 km away but he comes to visit me every holiday. He is really sweet but when we apart all we do is fight. He is terribly jealous and clingy. I've broken up with him once but felt so terrible that I begged him to take me back. But a few weeks ago when he broke up with me i did not bother me. I cried a few min and carried on with my life. And at the end of the day we were back together. I also don't think he trusts me much. I donno what to do anymore. What can I do?
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female
reader, lildeesbg  +, writes (14 December 2007):
 In regards to your reply.. i want you to really understand that gifts are not meant to hold you to an unhappy relationship. If people stood because of the gifts they received then no one would ever break up. And the fact that he is spending the holidays with you isnt a reason either to stay.
But i get your point, your in the comfortable stage...and your sentimental. You are scared to let him go... but you need to see that soon the holidays will be over, and gifts dont come around every minute, so then what? wait around until the next holiday to arrive so you feel good again? The point is, is that you dont feel good right now and its because your not into your guy anymore. Its hard to hear...but its normal. You really need to weigh out your options, what do you gain what do you lose? ...and i hope that when you answer this question you dont say you loose out on cool gifts....
~dee
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 December 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the replys. iquess I really feel guilts cos of ll the stuff the has gotten me and he is suppose to be spending christmas and new years with me.
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A
female
reader, lildeesbg +, writes (13 December 2007):
This doesnt seem like much of a relationship, you guys dont see each other, he doesnt trust you and your not happy. My question to you is what is keeping you here? If your response to this question is that you would miss him or are comfortable with him, then honestly that isnt enough to sustain a healthy, happy and long lasting relationship. When people grow comfortable with someone it makes it hard for them to leave because growing comfortable with someone isnt easy. However, this shouldnt hold you too a relationship because you can grow comfortable with someone else who will trust you and you can be happy with. Ending a relationship isnt easy, even when you are the potential breaker upper. So, my advise to you is to find out what makes you so unhappy with this guy. Is it the distance? or is it that your just not into him? Whether you choose to stick it out by working it out or leaving, realize that happiness in a relationship makes a world of a difference!!!! ~dee
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A
female
reader, missmel34  +, writes (12 December 2007):
 Theres a reason your on this on and off again merry go round.
Relationships rarely just break up, they go through these practice goes first. Its perfectly normal, Everytime you break up it gets easier and easier until oneday...thats it.
The fact is sweetie, you are very young, don't settle for the one guy, live your life to the fullest. If he doesn't make you happy, then remember there is probably a guy around the corner who will.
Good Luck.
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A
male
reader, kenny  +, writes (12 December 2007):
 If in your heart of hearts you are not happy then i think maybe you should consider terminating this relationship. If you are unhappy what is the point of continuing, as you say when you are apart all you do is fight, he is terribly jealous and clingy, and you say he does not trust you. From what you have mentioned in your post there are to many negatives about this relationship and not enough positives. My advice would be to finish with this guy and move on, but then thats just what i would do. If you are going to tell him then i would do it sooner rather than later, as the longer you leave it the harder it will get.
All the best x
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 December 2007): From what i read its very normal what you are passing through, dont think about the distance that separe u and him and dont make it a wall or a reason for breaking the relation again .. i chat with my girlfriend over the internet and over the phone and seen her rarely u can say i am passing in a very very similar relation , we fight most of time but after every fight we go back to each others and feel that we need each other more and we realize that nothing can break our love .
Be sure my friend this man loves you so much and thats why he's getting terribly jealous and dont accept the idea that someone else could take u away from him.
All you need to do is :
THe distance is far --- so ur having always a fight with your bf the solution ---- try to kill the distance by showing him lots love and talkin about being with each others for always and how this means to you .. tell him that u wait the hollidays just to see him LESS PROBLEMS IS BETTER IN A RELATIONSHIP you too must feel more comfortable with each others .
while talking with your bf tell him what u did all the day along what u would do if he is with u in this or this situation this will make the trust in u strong and tell him that u have nothing to hide and if u dont love him u wouldnt say it or care for him that much .
DONT BREAK THIS RELATIONSHIP ANYMORE think and grow up rich GOOD LUCK hope everythings will work very good .
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