A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i am 12 and am dating a 14 year old he is really cool and i like him but he is moving to fast for me weve been together for about 1 week and he already wants to kiss and makeout and maybe even see me naked but says he doesnt want to "ball" me until much much later whatever that means he is my bffs cuzn and i just wanna tell him i aint interested in any of that kissy sex stuff maybe just a kiss on the cheeek but thats all how do i tell him i wanna go slower without him dumping me i had my bff tell him but he is still going to fast i dont want him to say i love you just wayyyy to awkward. i thought bout dumping him but i like him and maybe i can fix this small little problem thanks for your help
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reader, anonymous, writes (20 May 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhey its me the writer of the question and well he says he loves me and i just wanted to thank u bunchez but lately my friends have turned they are getting me sent to juvy (maybe) well thnx anyway i love yall (sisterly or brotherly way so dont get too peppy)LOL
A
female
reader, Dreaming  +, writes (15 May 2008):
too fast, tell, him, if he does not listen dump him. He should not be pressuring you or even talking to you about this stuff!
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A
female
reader, towapa  +, writes (15 May 2008):
 You're a bit young to go into all of this. You both want different things; you want a boyfriend who you can talk as a friend and not really interested in all the sexual stuff, and it is understandable as you are in fact quite young. He, on the other, hand is starting to experience puberty. He probably wants sex, as young boys do, and might not be able to get why you don't want to do those stuff with him.
I think you should break up with him. I know you probably don't want to, but trust me, it's for your own good. You should be hanging out with friends, not being pressured into things you don't want to do. Either way, if you don't give him it or you actually DO do it, he'll probably dump you, anyway.
Take care. xx
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reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): Im 12 to and i havent kissd aney one ever or done anything sexual i think its werd your dating a 14 year old and it sounds like he wants to do anyting he can to make you or aney body around your age to get sexual in some way whith him there is no slow down with teenagers like him i think you should dump him before he forces you to do some sort of sexual thing you don't want to do with him.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): What is a 14yr old doing with a 12yr old anyway? dump him, you don't need a guy like this around and aunts, their is a huge age diffrence between them in teen years.
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female
reader, Star_07 +, writes (14 May 2008):
 Its best if you tell him he is going too fast and that you are not ready to do those kind of things. Sweety, if he dumps you because you want to go slower, then he isnt worth it. Only do what feels comfortable to you, dont let him pressure you into anything.
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A
female
reader, Vickiivyy +, writes (14 May 2008):
 Tell You Boyfriend That He Is Going To Fast Maybe He Doesnt Believe It If Your Friends Are Telling Him....Presonally I Would Tell Him Myself......
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A
female
reader, :):):) +, writes (14 May 2008):
Just tell him, if he sosent like it then hes not a very good boyfriend is he? And you have lots of time to have boyfriends in the future. Do't do anything you don't want to do
xxx
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A
female
reader, lildeesbg +, writes (14 May 2008):
 First off let me commend you on being a strong person to not feelings pressured into something you dont want to do! Not many people, especially people your age will standup for what they believe in, especially regarding sexual matters. I think your handling it very well. I know that you had your friend say something, but at this point it means nothing to him. Therefore, you must speak to him about this privately. It is your relationship that you want to work on, and as i always say communication in a relationship is extremely important (remember that). You have to feel comfortable with the person you are with. So my advice is to sit him down and tell exactly what you ARE ready for! and what you are NOT ready for. IF he doesnt like it ...TOO BAD for HIM. Dont let anyone make you do something you dont want to do and are not ready for.
If after the conversation he still continues to be too fast, then you might want to think about breaking things off because hes not respecting you, and is probably not the best match for you at this time in your life.
~dee
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 May 2008): Just be direct. Tell him you like him very much and love hanging out with him, but that you need to move more slowly. Then tell him specifically "I'm not comfortable doing this, this and this. But I love to do this, this and this (holding hands, hugging, little kisses, whatever works for you) with you." If he breaks up with you, you'll know he's not interested in you as a person, but rather only interested in using you for sexual stuff. And I'm sure you wouldn't want to waste your time with a creep like that, so best to find out now if he's one of them by telling him exactly how you feel.
And this is slightly off topic, but his use of the word "ball" disturbs me. "Balling" means having sexual intercourse. But it's a very crude term and for him to use it in reference to you makes me suspect that he doesn't have much respect for the act of making love or for you. Is that the kind of boy you want in your life. Personally, I would not.
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female
reader, anonymous24 +, writes (14 May 2008):
 Just out right tell him that he's going to fast for you and if he doesn't slow things down that it'll be over. It might make him realise that he's pushing it a little.
I don't think you should ever get naked with this boy. If he's being this forceful with kissing, who knows what he'd be like then!
Maybe you should take the lead and be the first one to make all the moves so that he knows what is and isn't okay.
Good luck.
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female
reader, les +, writes (14 May 2008):
If he's going way too fast for you, tell him. If he doesnt listen to you, dump him, b/c it sounds like he might be the type that will dump you after he gets what he wants.
I'm 24, and guys have to wait a lot longer than a week to make out with me, and many weeks until they get to see me naked.
You're 12. I think you're old enough to understand the math.
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A
male
reader, jonnyboy +, writes (14 May 2008):
hey
i know how you feel its happend to me when i was younger
what i did was tell them how i feel and if they really care about they will stick around if not its not worth it so either way you will know and feel so much better after you find out beleive me chin up im sure he does like you:)
xx
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