A
male
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Dear Cupid,I'm gay and in my first relationship he's kind and he's everything I want in a man but since he's 17 and I'm 13 it's quite strange but it's both of our first relationship he wants to have sexual relations but I think I might be too young but I would like to but I'm not sure? Help! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Miamine +, writes (20 August 2010):
 So sorry, you have caught us out with our assumptions and prejudices.. but the advice remains the same... It's best not to practice sex at such a young age. Although there is not much harm physically if you are a boy, (however anal sex is painful and can lead to physical complications if not done properly) mentally you'll suffer, and regret it when you get older.
Stay with kissing until you reach 15, the advice on age's is the same for boys and girls. If a guy loves you, he will wait until you've grown and experienced the world and can agree to sex knowing all the emotionally difficulties that it can bring up.
Thank you for reminding us that not everyone is heterosexual.. your still a good boy, you should feel proud of yourself for saying no, not yet.. :)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm a guy!
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A
female
reader, Miamine +, writes (19 August 2010):
Your a good girl.. don't do anything more than kissing until you reach 15.. boys are boys, they want sex young, but girls who have sex young suffer a lot in mind and sometimes body..
A guy who is good and kind and loves you will understand and wait... Are they out there, yes.. most boys will ask, but the good ones will stay with you and wait until you are older and feel ready.
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A
female
reader, zebralove  +, writes (19 August 2010):
 Good girl! =) I think you did the right thing! You will be proud of this later on trust me!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 August 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for all the advce ! :)
I have told him I'm too young he understands and isn't angry with me at all he is okay with waiting untill Its legal!
Thanks :) !
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A
male
reader, Orpheous  +, writes (19 August 2010):
I don't know the country u live and the laws but in the most of the occasions this would be illegal, watch out!
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A
female
reader, katie123 +, writes (18 August 2010):
I think you are too young, please wait and if he is truly in love with you then he will understand and wait until you are ready.
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A
male
reader, der_zyniker  +, writes (17 August 2010):
There is something wrong with this guy. You want to steer clear of him. You are right to think that you are to young to have sex, especially with him.
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A
male
reader, jkirk +, writes (16 August 2010):
He's a perv, run away fast. No sane 17 year old wants to have sex with a 13 year old.
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A
female
reader, Denise32 +, writes (15 August 2010):
 YES, you are much too young to be getting into sex with this man - or anyone else at this point!
Besides, he could well get into legal trouble for having sex with a minor (underage) child......
Don't give into him, it would damage you emotionally......you may WANT to, (hormones and all that are starting to kick in) BUT it's definitely a very bad idea!
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A
female
reader, karen1989 +, writes (15 August 2010):
 If your 13 your only JUST a teenager where as if he is 17 hes an adult in a years time. 13 is too young to have sex,it just is. Be careful with this guy don't let him rush you into anything.
Good luck :)
Karen.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): I know you know full well that you're too young, certainly for full penetrative sexual intercourse. A little kissing and fondling probably won't do you any harm, but four years is a COLOSSAL age difference at this point in time. At 17 he's obviously going to be permanently horny; at 13 you're miles too young. There's a vast gap in terms of life experience and general maturity.
And - how 'far' have you gone before now? He will be committing a CRIME in the eyes of the law if you have sex, since it's generally deemed that 13-year-olds are not capable of giving fully informed consent, and indeed I'd agree this is true. At age 13, I honestly hadn't a sexual thought in my head. By age 15, I was thinking about it quite a lot. 16 - dying for it. With a real man and not a boy. It happens at its own pace, but you're in danger of interfering with your natural sexual development if you go for it at such a young age.
I'd also worry that he wants to take advantage of you - the fact that HE'S already asking YOU for sex would seem to back that up. How much do you really have in common anyway? He's FOUR YEARS ahead of you at school.
In the event that you're still seeing each other in a few years' time, that would indicate that he respects you and is trustworthy. The odds are stacked against it - it means him going without sex until he's 20 - but who's to say it's not a runner? Maybe on your 16th or 17th birthday - you'll know when the time is right - there's a wonderful present that he can give you. And you'll love it, after waiting so long. But for the next few years, FORGET IT and just try to be mates!
Good luck, and keep your self-control. Don't let him pressure you. As one of the other aunts said, your first time should be special, not something you'll end up always regretting. It's one of the big defining moments of your entire life. There's so much at stake and you've a lot to lose. Don't...don't...don't. Please.
Not yet.
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A
female
reader, aela +, writes (15 August 2010):
 I'm no doctor nor do I play one on TV, but.... I can tell you that from several sources I have read that having sex too early can impair your sexual development - as if this is something that you would carry with you through life only to rear it's ugly head again. Even at 13 mate, I'm pretty sure you wan't no part of that.
I too remember the stress, the curiousity, the fear and/or pleasure of the thought of sex at a young age. But remember, you are in the development of your sexual side and it is like climbing a flight of stairs, you take one step at a time until you have reached the top. If you have sex now, it may be like trying to take a short cut and jump ahead 5 steps....you will fall and end up at the bottom again. Take your time, as there is something wonderful to discover with each precious step.
Best wishes - you are smart to ask!!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): to be quite honest .. age is only a number but .. 13 is realy yong to be having sex, i'm just going to put it bluntly, make him wait & see if he realy wants to be with you before giving you're innocence away short, once he's earned you're trust then see how you feel.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): Hi,
Sorry you feel confused about what to do, but 13 is way TOO YOUNG to be having sexual relations with someone, even more so as this person is not even you own age, he is quite a lot more experienced in life and relationships. He should be aware of this, and NOT pressure, or ask you to have sexual relations with him.
Whether you think you're ready or not, the fact is, LEGALLY and EMOTIONALLY you are TOO YOUNG.
To become sexually involved in a relationship means you should be in a relationship that has commitment, consideration, care for YOUR well-being, and love which may grow towards a long-term relationship, and at THIRTEEN you have not had enough experience meeting boys, dating, hanging out with them, just doing NON-SEXUAL things together to know whether these things are possible with this young man.
This is not a slur on you, or being 13, it is just fact of being 13 without any relationship experience. Without experience we can make the wrong choices which may lead to regret in the future. If he really cares for you, he would wait until you are much older, or YOU feel SURE that it is the next natural step. You don't just have sex with someone because they want it, or that's what's expected.
You need to be dating a long-time, several months before entering into a sexual relationship, so the relationship is based upon a REAL deep bond - NOT just LUST, and in the beginning of a POTENTIAL relationship, that is what it is, LUST. IF you have sex with this young man before you know if he's going to stick around after the LUST has died, then you could end up EMOTIONALLY hurt, as it's likely if you move this forward on a physical basis, you will become MORE involved with him, as this would be your FIRST experience.
Make sure you have something special first, as at 17 HIS hormones will be raging, and of course he will want sex, but it is YOU who needs some guidance, as emotionally this could potentially leave you feeling used IF this young man does NOT provide for your emotional well-being, as well as the physical.
Please take your time, don't be rushed, get to KNOW him well over MONTHS - If he's genuine the relationship will just grow, if he's NOT genuine, you'll soon see, as he'll move on to someone who will have sex fairly quickly with him, and that is NO basis for you to embark on your first relationship.
Take care..
Love Jilly x
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 August 2010): Please dont do anything you will regret.. tell your mom or dad..this guy is using you..
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female
reader, SimpleOne +, writes (15 August 2010):
You know that you are to young - don't give in to him. Be sure that you know. Doubt is a terrible thing. Having no regrets is a wonderful thing. Know you are supported by at least one person in your choice to do the right thing. Please don't. Actions can't be undone, words cannot be taken back. Your first time should be special. He should wait. 20 and 16 years looks good, doesn't it? Best Wishes hun. xxx
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A
female
reader, Duckyhelp +, writes (15 August 2010):
 Tell him, simple as that. If you doubt it even for a minute, then your not comfortable. 13 is young. Tell him this, he should respect you. If he does maybe you should rethink if he is everything you want.
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A
female
reader, misspurple +, writes (15 August 2010):
Yes you are definately too young! Don't let him pressure you into anything. He is also too old for you. You are way too young for anything this serious you are just a child. No matter your feelings towards him he shouldn't force you into anything, if he does he obviously doesn't feel the same. Don't do it!
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