A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:there is this guy that i really like that i would pretty much do anything for. he has been a player for along as i have known him and has always told me the truth. he says he has changed so i guess my question is how do you know when a player is not a player anymore.?
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male
reader, Odds +, writes (25 August 2010):
 Players may choose to start pursuing relationships, given two caveats - (1) they often have damaged their ability to bond with any one girl, and (2) in your age bracket, they are *not* ready.
He may believe he is sincere, but he is fooling himself. You don't say if he's trying to get with you or not - if so, you have to decide whether that's worth the risk (I wouldn't take it).
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): You know when he's NOT a player, as his ACTIONS and WORDS WILL match. Most players ( men who date lots of girls all at once)tell you how special you are, tell you they only want to be with you, but when it comes to it, they will not follow through with actions to match their words.
Jilly
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (26 July 2010): Player as in he only wants girls 4 sex. and i know he has told me the truth before because he stopped me from continuing a relationship with someone else because they were using me.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): I wouldn't put myself out there totally. If he is cool with that then take it slowly. It would seem unfair to give out bread crumbs in love but if the person really likes you then they will Wait. I don't think people really change, not saying it can't happen, but just not real fast or to much at once. I think most people just substitute one problem for another problem. The only time you really see change in someone is if their behavior is rooted from a problem they haven't gotten over with, such as maybe he is a player because mommy decided to abandon him and he feels the need to have multiple women so he doesn't feel abandoned.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (25 July 2010):
 Anyone can change if they truly WANT to.
But in general I would say no, because YOU think YOU can make him change or "fix" him, that is not going to happen.
Find a Guy you don't feel a need to fix in order to have a relationship.
You have two cars at the lot. Same model year - everything.
One is really snazzy looking with the coolest paint job, but a really shitty power-train. Trying to fix it will take you YEARS, only to find out that it's not worth the time.
The other looks just fine and runs fine, but is just not so snazzy... and it will run faithfully for you for years...
Wouldn't you go for car #2?
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A
female
reader, karen1989  +, writes (25 July 2010):
 A player never changes. I've been with too many to know that they NEVER change. If a guy knows he can get away with playing you he will do it.
Don't think your his only girl, no matter how sweet he is to you,how well he treats you,all the crap he tells you about his 'feelings' towards you guys like that don't have any genuine feelings for anyone.
But i duno maybe this one is different..maybe ive just had a few bad experiences. Only one way to be sure,you need to get close to his main source of communication-his phone. Does he let you near it at the moment? There should be no secrets in a relationship if hes changed like hes claimed he won't have a problem with you seeing his phone every now and then.
Anyway good luck :)
Karen.
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A
female
reader, Inallhonesty... +, writes (25 July 2010):
 You're really taking a chance with him. All that you have to go by is your gut because if you've known him for as long as he's been a player, how do you really know he's been telling YOU the truth? That's his game. Lying to women. You're a woman...get my drift?
I personally wouldn't trust pursuing a romantic relationship with him...maybe in some years when it seems like he's sowed his wild oats (Monogamy could come with maturity.) But I would just keep my distance and remain friends. I doubt you want your heart broken at the end of the day and if you pursue this knowing how he is, then you're just setting yourself up for failure.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (25 July 2010): A player saying he's changed, is the same as a liar saying he's telling the truth.
So you only know by following up on his claims. Any inconsistencies/falsehoods you discover when you do a dig means he hasn't changed.
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