A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Can some one help me? I am totally lost in life. I feel like I must fix the world. I am 25 married and have a career. I am currently separated from my spouse do to my job. I love my career, but again I am not sure if I should be at home with my husband ready to start a family. There are things in my life that tell me that I am suppose to be here and others that say I am not. Also when we argue I instead of leaving the subject alone for a while I push and push to fix it, I am a fixer and I have been told before you "you can't save the world" though I try or another good one is "you cant fix everything" so honestly I am just lost I have no idea how to stop fixing everything and find myself in life.I am religious, though I am not looking for a religious answer, I get enough of that from my parents. Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Khandi +, writes (3 July 2008):
 I couldnt agree more with Reality christian, Ask your Husband what does he want out of life you have to remember that the both of you are a UNIT, everything each of you do shold be talked about with the otherh i think sometimes what happens is that in marraige we forget that we have to put the other person before we put ourselves (with in reason, dont subscribe to foolishness) but if we each put the others needs before our own neither of the two will be last. I am 35 and my husband and i argued about everything and one of the biggest hings was that I cant help everyone, my family and home is my first obligation after Christ and when my husband did the same each of our needs were met dont get me wrong we still have disagrements but we both know that it is our resposibilty to the other person to fix only things that are with in our arms reach and home had to come first if you go out and try to fix the world and you still have problems at home it defeets the purpose. make the everything you feel a need to fix start at home, but it is better when the twain that has become the one flesh to work together. Let God do his Job and you do yours. I hope you and your husband can be together again if that is what the both of you want. I hope this is not too little to late.
A
female
reader, jabey  +, writes (26 February 2008):
in life we must sit back and take time out to think, what is it that i want in my life. its ok to do that it is not selfish. You are the only one who knows what it is you would like and how you would like your life to be.
Hey look at you already you know you want to stop fixing everything, thats progress, you recognise that is not possible, so you already have a great self awareness.
I often do a little trick when I feel lost and not sure about where I am heading in life, this is it.
I close my eyes and think if a magic fairy came to me right now and said you can have your life exaclty how you want it, how you wish it to be, what would it be like.
I then write down how I would love things to be, I then look at the achievable goals, and then work a way to strive toward my other goals. and of course certain parts of life are already exactly how you want them to be.
so time out lady, sit back relax and decide what it is you want, and try to quit the worrying, you are responsible for yourself and your actions. Only you can control that.
Good luck darling xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 February 2008): You should always go by what you feel you want to do. If you get a 'gut' feeling then why dont you go along with it in future. If you want to spend more time on your career and less on family life then it is up to you, but it must be your decision and not made by someone else. Do what you want and dont let anyone sway your decisions.
The bit about fixing things, we all feel a bit like that, but it is true, we cannot fix everything, so relax and let someone do some fixing in the future. The world will still tick on over.
take care
xx
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A
male
reader, The Reality Christian +, writes (26 February 2008):
That's okay. You are not really lost. We all question ourselves at times. Just take a deep breath, think about what YOU want out of life. Cook a nice dinner, ask your hubby what he wants out of life. This will make for good conversation and build you alls bond. I'm 44 and believe me, you can't fix everything. Did you know that most problems were thought of and acted out on long before you were even born? You don't have to worry about solving or fixing anything. All problems will pass sometime between now and the time you pass - or after such time. Talk to God. He's listening and will reveal to you your calling in life
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