A
female
age
36-40,
*nluckyinlife
writes:please help as i dont know if im making the right choice....i've split up with my boyfriend of 2 years because of lies about money and talking to girls online but i dont know if im making the right decision. he still denys the internet chatting even though i've seen the emails with my own eyes, but still i love him with all my heart and feel like i would still do anything for me. he's been telling me how much he loves me and says that this recent time apart has made him realise how much he wants me in his life. part of me wants to forgive him and work at it but the other half of me isnt sure if i can trust him 100%. what would you do?
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male
reader, DANCINGMAN +, writes (17 May 2008):
Once that seed of doubt is put in your mind, it will play on it ! I had a doubt about my girlfriend always going on about how private a mobile phone is and then hearing her say on the phone to someone "she was out with mates going for a meal" she was with me! not mates, so I asked who was that and her reply "oh some blokes I know on holiday and there drunk" and she didn't remember saying it ? so I looked in her phone and I was right! there were messages off another man telling her he loved her.
The trust had gone and that was that, as much as it hurt me it was over, if you can't trust 100% it's not worth it you will just end up getting hurt again.
My mobile was always there for her to look at anytime and I told her that, because I have no secrets!
A
female
reader, jabey +, writes (17 May 2008):
well you are very sensible to be airing caution.
Sometimes people dont know what a wonderful thing they have until it is gone, and sounds like your ex has realised this. But as you said is he trustworthy ?
I think I would insist that if he really wants you back he is totally honest about the internet chatting and explain that. if he cannot do that then, he is saying to you he cannot be honest, and do you want that sort of relationship in your life.
If he can be upfront, I beleive in forgiveness, make it clear he has on last chance and if he does one more thing that hurts you, that you will walk away for good.
But really make sure he will do anything to get you back, and prove to you he really wants you make him work hard for you. If he means what he is saying he will do anything for you, if he does not mean it he will give up.
Good luck xxxx
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