A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:OK, here's the scenario. I've posted a question before about 2 weeks ago about how I think my partner is cheating on me, to which I got some good replies.My question now is connected to this, but its been kind of bothering me. My b/f and I have been having pretty amazing sex over the past few weeks and I think he is enjoying the fact that I've lost a few of my inhibitions when it comes to sex. We were talking about it last night when in bed and I was giving him a hand job and he said he loved the sex we were having now compared to a few months ago when it seemed very 'regimented' (even though he still liked it, it is much better now in the bedroom). I said I had done some research on the web on how to improve our sex life and spice things up in bed, and he said he was glad I had. He said I seem a lot more open minded about things now and more willing to do things I previously didn't want to try. I said that I had felt slightly disconnected from the relationship over the past few months and when I asked him why I felt as if things hadn't been right since Christmas, he told me not to talk about it and just brushed the issue away.Now I'm feeling quite annoyed that he is just brushing my concerns aside as I want to get any issues between us sorted out before he decides he wants to play away with someone else...Is it wrong of me to want some answers to my questions and to ask him why he is chatting with other girls on his MSN?? I know for a fact he is chatting to other girls as he makes it so obvious when he closes the screen when I come up behind him so I can't see what he is talking about and blatantly lies about chatting to any other girls at all.Should I be settling for this or do I demand answers from him and get him to tell me why I have felt our relationship has been so turbulent for the past few months?? I want to get the issue about chatting to other girls out of the way too, so I need some help pls!
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, jabey +, writes (17 May 2008):
oh wow you poor thing.
You have every right to ask him about his chatting to other women. Im afraid in life we cannot control what another person does but we can control what we do and how we react.
The reason you feel fed up is because at the moment he has all the control, and you have to right to regain that control back.
it is your choice how you choose to deal with this. at the moment you are the one working on this relationship. you have improved your sex life you really deserve him now to give you somehting back.
I suggest talking to him calmly about your concerns, and feelings. Unfortunately there is no guarentee he will be honest with you. But if this man truly loves and respects you he will be concerned about your feelings and hopefully explain what is going on.
You can take control and decide what you want, and try hard to put your feelings first.
A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (17 May 2008):
 If there are or have been issues in the relationship you deserve to know what they are. It's not fair of him to say there are issues and then decide not to discuss them.
Talking to people of the opposite sex is not a crime. Hiding it and lying about it is. If his conversations are innocent, there's nothing to hide.
If you are the jealous type he may hide things so you don't get angry.
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