A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I dunno whats wrong with me lately. I have a large social circle but I dont have very good self esteem and find it very difficut to talk to people, sometimes even my friends. We all go on holidays and festivals every year but for some reason lately I have found that I dont get invited anymore and have to invite myself which I dont like doing. Its not a bitchy thing, I think its probably because Im not a leader, I dont organise things and because Im not very loud I sometimes get forgotten. A couple of girls have joined our friendship circle who are very pretty and outgoing and I somtimes feel overlooked and pushed out. I hate finding out that a night out has been organised and I havnt been invited out. I dont know what to do. I know it sounds petty but its getting me down.
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female
reader, Kyaserin  +, writes (25 October 2008):
 I myself have been in the same situation for 2 years. Just think of it this way, it's not you, it's "them". I think you should hang out with people who are somewhat like you. That's what I had to do "this" year. Hang in there girl it's difficult, but you'll get through it.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (24 October 2008): You could stand up and be counted, and remember that you TOO have wonderful qualities that are appreciated and enjoyed by others. Sometimes life shows us a problem we need to work on, be YOU AND walk quitely but carry a big stick as some dude once said.
I have a freind who is very quite and shy aswell as a loud bunch but i really enjoy all their company. The quite freind i love to have talks with and i really enjoy it when us loudies get her a little tipsy and she lets go, she is the funniest and this makes her special to us all.
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A
female
reader, jabey +, writes (24 October 2008):
The good thing here is you are aware of your state of mind, you are aware you feel down about yourslef, recognising a problem is the first step in resolving it.
Ok so you know you have to work on your self esteem.
Right now,write down all the things you like about yourself, physically the things that you like e.g your eyes ? your smile ? your legs ? there must be some things you like.
then list all the things you like about your personality e.g. are you caring ? are you funny ? are you loyal ?
Then list all your acheivements in life e.g. An exam you passed, a picture you drew, a job you got .
Think of a close friend someone who cares and loves you.
Think of all the things you have to give.
Now look at that list daily, remember how unique and special you are, there is noone like you in the world. And your lucky to be you, think and be grateful for all the good things you have in life.
Now when you are with your friends, smile as much as possible. Take an interest in them, listen to their news, about their jobs, life , hobbies. Share with them your hobbies , your talents. Even whenyou are feeling down andlow, pull your shoulders back, smile stand tall and immediately you will feel more confident, the more you act confident even if you dont feel it the more the acting will feel natural and eventually you will feel that way without it being an act.
there is nothing to be afraid of, people will love you for being you.
there are lots of books about self esteem and confidence, go and buy a few and read them they will help. And in the meantime, write that list and carry it around with you, and when you feel low read it to yourself to remind you how great you really are. I promise you it wont be long before people begin to see that, and the invites will come flooding your way xxx
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