A
male
age
41-50,
*azornblade
writes:Well about three weeks ago, I started asking this girl at my work place for lunches and hanging out. I thought we were hitting off pretty well. We chatted during our lunches about each other. She even wanted to work out with her so that I will get back into shape. I told my friends about this and they were happy for me. About two weeks later, I decided to tell her on how I feel. I did. She was shocked and told me that she only saw me as a coworker and friend. I was saddened. In the end, she wants me to work out with her in the gym and tomorrow she even agreed to go to the baseball game with me tomorrow. May I wrong to continue to work out and hang out with her? I still have like immense feelings for her. Even when her iPod broke, I was even planning to buy her an iPod to replace her old one. Is that too much?
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female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (21 April 2010):
 Buying an iPod is going WAY too far. You need to cool your jets if you want this girl to see you more than a friend. Just act casual around her. Start treating her (and I know this may sound strange) like one of your guy friends. Not to the point where you are talking about other girls and the contents in your toilet to her, but keep that casual mood that you have with your guy friends. If one of your buds broke his iPod, you wouldn't rush out to buy them a new one, would you? No.
I would continue to be friends with her, but treat her just like you do your other friends. Don't drop all your plans to hang out with her, say no every once in a while. You can be busy with other things, seeing as she says she isn't interested in you. Guys don't often know that girls like the chase as well. Give her a reason to put in some effort. And if things don't work out the way you want them to, at least you'll have another friend to chill out with, and this will give you an opportunity to find someone who is better suited for you. Best of luck.
A
female
reader, cnith +, writes (21 April 2010):
 give her some time... she may still come around. Don't go gaga over her and guard your heart a bit but it's not uncommon for a girl to fall for a 'friend' unless she specifically told you that you aren't her type.buying her an ipod in my opinion is a bit much for 'just a friend.' so I wouldnt. Not sure if I'm alone in that thought though...
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