A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:my new problem.... basically me and my boyfriend have been together for 7 months, 7 months of bliss! weve had a few big fights which we have resolved. but now im facing the worst heart break of all time. my boy has got his dream job, of working in the mines flying in and out. he says at times he may be away for a month or more! i am WILLING to do whatever it takes to make things work. because my love for him is so strong he means everything to me and i wouldnt end it because of this? but he wants to end things because he thinks he cant put 100% in to the relationship and not seeing him for months will break mine and his heart even more!? i dont know what to do:( Reply to this Question
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male
reader, Always Somewhere Other Than Home  +, writes (24 December 2010):
I have worked away off and on for seven years and keeping a relationship fresh that is solid and involved you both being in close proximity on a constant bases is hard. Things you have to consider is how you are going to communicate while you are apart. MSM is terrible as are all chat applications because we read into a bland text sentence on screen what we think it means and not neccasarily what your partner meant. Plus there will be a time given to talk issue. I talk to my partner for four hours a day on Skype on my day off but only an hour a day when im working. While this is more than many men in my job talk per day, it is still not enough for my partner who will happily chat for seven hours!!! Arguments start because she thinks I am avoiding talking to her because of things as simple as I need to shop. You would be amazed how these arguments start sometimes, and all of them because trust and belief in the others commitment slowly starts to ebb away over time.
Now has the others have said if your man is 100% committed to you and you really do want a relationship without touch, snuggles, watching a movie together or even the mundane stuff for time extended then go for it but set a time until you see each other again. If I said to my partner I will be going and i'll see you this summer, she'd be rightly upset, so we work on three months apart and a homecoming.
I hope your love works out for you but it will be hard even if he commits, not unworkable though. It can be done and trust me the homecomings are to die for.
Good luck.
A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 I know that you say you really love him, and this situation might be potentially heart breaking, but he has given you his opinion on the matter. He said he doesn't want to be together, because he doesn't think he can put all of his effort into the relationship. Relationships are a two way street, and it's impossible for one person to make the entire thing work while the other isn't putting their all into it. It'll be a one sided relationship, and believe me, you'll be miserable. You'll start to resent him and the fact that you're doing so much while he's doing so little. I honestly think that nonreturnable love is the worst feeling in the world.
What I would do is sit him down and state that you are really willing to make things work because you love him, and then ask him one more time if he's sure that he wants to break up. If he says anything but 'no, I don't want to break up and I'm willing to give my 100%', then I think it's time you two part ways. I'm telling you from personal experience, you'll save yourself a lot more heartbreak if you end things now then try to make it work on your own. It will be really tough, and you'll have to have courage, but I think you can do it. It takes two people to put their all into making a relationship work, and you're worth finding someone who is willing to do that with you. Best of luck.
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 darling,
he has been honest and he warned you- then it's up to you.
You are willing to do whatever it takes to make things work, but unluckily he does not feel the same. He thinks he cannot put 100% in this relationship - and long distance relationships are difficult to handle, they work out only if both parties are willing to put ALL their energy and effort in making them work.
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