A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi everyone,Well first a little background. I am gay, fully out to my family and friends and I am accepted by all of them. My boyfriend is bisexual, hes not out to anyone in his family and only out to a few friends. his family is very conservative compared to mine, and when he introduces me to his parents, im just his "best friend." We are both in college together, about to end our second year and we have started dating since we were freshman. We are currently living together now since we got an apartment a few months ago. Lately however, i feel my boyfriend has been growing distant and has lost interest in our relationship. I also feel he takes me for granted. When we started dating, it was perfect. We would spend all the time together, hang out, constantly text, and do everything with each other. But now, he seems to be uncaring, would rather text other people while in the room with me, criticizes me for small mistakes, calls me ugly (i know it has nothing to do with appearance, but I was model in high school), and only is affectionate when he wants sex. I love the guy, and put a lot of effort into our relationship. I even constantly pay for both of us when we go out, even though he earns more money than me. We even went to montreal together for spring break. But he seems to have lost all affection and care, and only seems to want me for sex (which i feel has lost all the passion that was once there. i feel like his toy). And when i said "i love you," he would act like he was grossed out. I constantly see him talking to other guys and even girls, but i dont say anything. he mentiosn ex boyfriends and girlfriends all the time, but when i mention someone he gets angry and says that i dont like him anymore and i should go sleep with someone else. what do i do? i love the guy, and i would do anything for him. but i feel like he doesnt love or care about me.
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female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (21 April 2010):
 I think what you really need to do is sit him down and ask him where he thinks this relationship is heading. It sounds like he isn't really taking it seriously anymore, and perhaps moving in together was a factor in all this. Sometimes when two people move in together, the romantic side of things loses itself. I mean I understand why he isn't texting you every day anymore, he lives with you now. But the fact that he calls you names and brings up his exes may be a sign that he is afraid of what's going on. Maybe this relationship has moved too fast. I think what you need to start doing is stop paying for the meals. He makes more money than you, and you two live together, so the living expenses should be split. It's a rather nice gesture, but let him take care of things every once in a while. I think another issue with him is that he is taking you for granted, which always feels terrible.
After you talk to him, if he at least attempts to change his behavior towards you, then you got some hope. But if he just settles back into his old ways and you still feel miserable, I think it's time to consider parting ways for a while. No one likes to feel used and hurt. And believe me, there are other guys out there who won't make you feel that way. Give it a little more time, and just know that you can leave whenever you want. There is no use staying in a relationship where there is nonreturnable love or affection, because you will never be happy. And the point of a relationship is to at least give you some happiness in life. Best of luck to you.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 April 2010): I'm gay too so I see your point ask him do you love me? And everything you've wrote here like ask him why he never pays attention to you that should give him a wake up call and even if that does ends bad you can make up in a very romantic way so be strong and don't back out ! Good Luck x
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