A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I need help! And fast if possible. A friend of mine asked me to prom and of course I said yes (I don't fancy him but we are good friends). I don't regret that I said yes, because I scare guys off anyway and we are very good friends! So yeah, I kind of guessed that he must fancy me a bit (not only because of him asking me to prom but other things as well) but really that doesn't matter to me. He knows we are just going to be friends.The problem is (it's not really a problem it's just something which I'm a little cautious on talking to him about) is that he is in a wheelchair, and can't walk at all. He has an electric one because his arms are weak and he can struggle a bit with his other one (not electric). So, I'm sure as lots of girls my age do I've been online looking at accessories and earrings, necklaces etc for prom. Then one of my girl friends said "what car are you going in?" and I was just excited and stuff and said "oh I'm sure a very nice car!". I wasn't thinking very straight and when I got home one day I was online (again) looking at different cars for prom hire and such like, and I got myself really excited about everything. But then....I realised the next day that because my prom date is in a wheel chair he won't be able to go in a nice car!Well, I sort of hinted what transport we would be taking to prom on msn, and he said "oh I'm sure we can put our heads together and get something cool". So in a way that reassured me - so a few days later I looked to see if there were any cars that had wheelchair access but were still high fashion. Nothing. Absolutely nothing :(I have made such a fuss about prom, buying all sorts of beauty things and lovely jewelry, (I'm making my own dress with my mum, she makes wedding dresses) and I really do love (I'll call my prom date Dee) Dee to bits - not fancy though. I mentioned to him that it would be hard to get transport for us if we wanted it to look good, and he began apologising saying that he felt bad we couldn't find anything! HE was apologising! I felt awful and kept telling him it wasn't his fault and I was being complicated etc. He said that we could go in different vehicles - me in a Jaguar and him in his van, but to me that's not being prom dates! I really don't know what to do - the transport to prom was one of the biggest highlights for me. I really, REALLY don't want to sound selfish - but I don't want to go to prom in a van! :(Am I a bad person for feeling this way? I feel especially bad for Dee...I'm such a selfish person sometimes.... :(Any suggestions on what I could do? I would immmmmmmmmmmensely appreciate advice!
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI'm not a bad person! I'm really not! I sound a bit bad I know I do...I guess the reason why I was so desperate is because I was very lonely and (to be frank) used to be very ugly when I was younger. I just feel like I can finally prove myself and be beautiful, haha but now I realise you don't need a car to do that! :) I'm going to prom with a wonderful person and I'm going to look fabulous! I've also made sure that Dee got the cufflinks he wanted :P You know...I am a little selfish aren't I? Don't say I'm not because i know I am a little. I wish I wasn't and I try not to be. I hope Dee feels happy with me as his prom date.Thanks for your comments by the way haha you've helped me see the error of my ways XD
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): its not about the ride - its about the prom in my personal opinion - who cares how you get there as long as you have fun :)
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A
female
reader, hijacked_dignity  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 I don't blame you at all for feeling a little disapointed, but you have to realize all the fun things that are going for you as well! You are going to get all glammed up, you are going to have an amazing dress, and it sounds like you're going to have an amazing date! I would really just try to get over the fact that you're not going to be riding in a fancy car, and I'd stop mentioning it. I know you don't mean to, but it probably makes him feel bad, and you two have already tried to find an alternative together with no luck.
I would definitely ride with him, and maybe even decorate the van? I know it isn't a Jaguar, but it could still be fun to pull up in a party van! Haha.
But anyway. Looking back, you're not going to really care about the car or the glam aspect of the night, but you are going to remember the people and the good time you had. The car is just a minor set back. So look at what you do have and have fun! I guarantee that the car will not be a big deal. :)
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A
female
reader, raiders +, writes (13 April 2010):
 have him ride with you in the nice rental and have the van with his wheelchair follow. I'm sure his parents won't mind driving and picking up the wheelchair.
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