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| | *ereAreMyTwoCents's profile:28 year old white female, Maryland USA, married three years, together eight years, no children. What qualifies me to help people as an agony aunt? My desire to do so, and my life experience. We all have life experience wisdom to offer other people. We can choose to keep it to ourselves, or we can share it and help someone who may need it...
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How can I convince a lover to stay without throwing myself at them?
Q. how could i show someone that i love them and want to be with them, and convince them not to leave out of state without actually throwing myself at them?...
A. 9 November 2009: If you truly love them, pride should not be an issue, and if the last chance you have is to throw yourself at them, then that is what you should do. That is, if they are worth it. A life lived without emotion is not a life lived at all.... (read in full...)
Does she look at other men? Is she lying to me?
Q. I feel terrible. I do not know what to do. I have accused my girlfriend time after time after time of looking at other men and she always insists that she doesn't. But I see her looking around whenever we are outside, so she has to be judging and ...
A. 2 November 2009: You are extremely jealous, insecure and out of touch with reality. Stop obsessing over unimportant things, and start focusing on what really matters. Does she love you? Do you love her? Or is love not important in your relationship? Is only your ... (read in full...)
Help! I left a 31-year relationship with a woman I could 100% trust, for a relationship that I don't think I can ever trust!
Q. hi all this is a long one so here we go,i meet this girl about 16 months ago by the way im 48 shes 45 around the same time i left my wife now ex-my girlfriend isn't exactly the honest type found out she was seeing here old boyfriend behind my back ...
A. 2 November 2009: Wow, you really messed up. Well, you don't need another poster telling you that, because I think by now you've already realized it. Thirty one years with a woman you can trust 100%. What on earth possessed you to EVER in a million years and ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on vegetarian meals I can have?
Q. I'm a vegetarian and I have an alergy to anything with egg in, I have no idea what to eat because my choices are pretty slim, everyone i date thinks it's weird and that i'm just being awkward. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what meals I can ...
A. 28 October 2009: If you live in an urban area there are a lot of things you could find to eat. You can find health food stores that have all kinds of vegetarian alternatives, and new foods you may not have heard of before. Ethnic markets, ethnic restaurants, you ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on vegetarian meals I can have?
Q. I'm a vegetarian and I have an alergy to anything with egg in, I have no idea what to eat because my choices are pretty slim, everyone i date thinks it's weird and that i'm just being awkward. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what meals I can ...
A. 27 October 2009: I swear to you if you look hard enough you will find something to eat. You need to clarify for us then:
Are you vegetarian or VEGAN? Vegetarian does not eat meat. Vegan does not consume ANY animal product including eggs, fish, dairy, honey, e... (read in full...)
Is it really that serious?
Q. they say when your in love you'll know.......is it really that serious??...
A. 26 October 2009: Yes, it is. To put it in perspective.... people DIE for love. ... (read in full...)
Help with my boyfriend that's addicted to porn, but still has sex with me. I feel like I'm his sloppy seconds.
Q. My boyfriend masturbates to porn everyday. He still has sex with me, but it makes me feel horrible about myself because I am a very attractive woman that is in my early 40's. I look very good for my age. Men tell me all the time that any guy ...
A. 22 October 2009: As long as he's not cheating in real life, just leave him be. No, you'll never measure up to a 20 year old, it's a harsh fact of life, learn to live with it. (On the flip side, we all eventually die, death being the great equalizer, just a side ... (read in full...)
Help...I'm gonna be single forever!
Q. I feel really lonely. I've had a couple of broken relationships, about 3 years ago, but the last time i actually felt intimate with someone was about 6 years ago. I feel like the rest of my life is going to be the same, and sometimes it get...
A. 22 October 2009: Oh for goodness sake. Just get over your insecurities, and start looking for GOOD girls that are interested in carrying out SERIOUS relationships. You've probably just been looking for them in all the wrong places, literally. Unless you look like ... (read in full...)
How can I convince her I am different?
Q. How do I make her understand I really Love her?? She's been with her bf for 4 years now. But she wants to break with him because he had broke her trust on him so many times and hurt her emotionally. Her bf would'nt allow her to break up with hi...
A. 22 October 2009: Ask her how she imagines herself with this man 10 years from now. Then tell her how you imagine yourself with her 10 years from now.... (read in full...)
What are healthy boundaries when dealing with a Narcissist?
Q. A friend introduced me to the term "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" and boy did it open my eyes. My father has been an INTENSE narcissistic, an especially sly one, ever since I can remember.. and until recently I thought he just had issues and ...
A. 22 October 2009: Healthy boundaries in a case like this are... whatever boundaries you need to keep in order to maintain your own mental health, and not get caught up in his manipulations. From how you have described him, it does not look like he will ever ... (read in full...)
Why do I always expect to be cheated on?
Q. Hi, I just wanna say that for the most part my relationship is perfect, but for some reason, due to my past I always feel I WILL be cheated on. So far twice, even after fully going through whatever to make those people happy. Like I never did ...
A. 22 October 2009: Don't make her out to be your past girlfriends. Not everyone in this world is a cheater. However since you have this past that is hard for you to let go of, I would suggest that you are open and honest with her about your insecurities due to your ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend cannot get it off with me!
Q. me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year now. there's only one problem.. our sex life. for a year now hes probably only gotten off 5-6 times outta the plenty of times we have "tried" having sex. idk why he cant get off. idk if its me ...
A. 21 October 2009: Viagra. Seriously. Viagra. Enough said.... (read in full...)
Is he being truthful or is he saying it just to get into my pants?
Q. I am in a relationship with a man since a year and half. We have known each other since 3 years. I have never been in a relationship before and I am a virgin too. Initially , at the start of our relationship every thing else was good except the sex ...
A. 21 October 2009: He is a good man to have stayed with you this long without having sex. Do not lose this man! The reason he pressured you at first was to see if you would do it, but after you were firm about it, he understood that you really mean NO. The fact ... (read in full...)
How can I get my boyfriends parents to stop being clingy?
Q. How do I get my boyfriend's parents to stop being so clingy? We are both in graduate school in the same town as his parents. We have been dating for over 2 years, live together, and have talked very seriously about getting engaged sometime within ...
A. 21 October 2009: I hate to say this anonymous, but all the other answers are right. I was going to tell you the same thing, after I read you question and BEFORE I read the answers. That's what family is there for, to help each other out. What he is doing is ... (read in full...)
Whats the trick to coming across as confident in writing?
Q. Writing and speaking with a girl you've just initiated contact with can have different effects. When you write her (online dating), she has preconceived ideas about what most guys are like. So if you write 'You are beautiful' that can come off as ...
A. 21 October 2009: Telling a woman she is beautiful is not lame. The only thing you need to change about your writing, is the attitude that you are writing with. Just BE self-confident, and write exactly what you feel. Don't try to lure her in with eloquence if ... (read in full...)
My girlfriend had a one night stand with a professional athelte before we met.
Q. My girlfriend recently told me that a few months before we met she had a one night stand with a famous professional ball player. She wanted to be open and I think that is a great thing. We have a great relationship, we are madly in love and its ...
A. 21 October 2009: I don't want to talk down at you, but I just want you to get the point I am trying to make: Are you freaking kidding me?! You're going to give up "the kind of relationship everyone dreams about" because of THIS??? Do you have any clue how lucky ... (read in full...)
How do I get over a cheater and end it for good?
Q. To make a long story short, my boyfriend of 4 years is a habitual cheater. I have kicked him out of our home after discovering another affair, but I still find myself thinking of him and wanting to work things out. We remain in contact via phone ...
A. 19 October 2009: You need clearly establish the parameters of the limited communication that you will have - only about your son. And you need to end conversations immediately when he does not hold up to this agreement. Other than that, you need to decide once and ... (read in full...)
What are my options?
Q. Hi. Not a relationship question, but just wondering what my options are. When I started college I was a bright, motivated young woman. I wanted to learn. I wanted to do things. Now I have trouble getting myself to do things sometimes. I just feel ...
A. 19 October 2009: Also, check out a book called "The Survivor Personality" I have not personally read it, but it may possibly be helpful to you.... (read in full...)
What are my options?
Q. Hi. Not a relationship question, but just wondering what my options are. When I started college I was a bright, motivated young woman. I wanted to learn. I wanted to do things. Now I have trouble getting myself to do things sometimes. I just feel ...
A. 19 October 2009: I as well get these thoughts of feeling that life is fake and I am just playing out different roles mandated by society in which no one ever will get to learn the real me, and I always end up misunderstood and hurt. But the flipside of that is that ... (read in full...)
Does he want me or her?
Q. How do i know if my boyriend still wants to be with his ex? My boyfriend and I have been on and off for almost a year now. I love him with everything i have and he tells me he does too. Im living at his house but theres one problem.. his ex...
A. 19 October 2009: Ok, how rude. He actually brings his ex over and leaves you crying in the other room. Obviously, he's not completely over her, and not too considerate of you. If it were me in your situation, I would have been light years gone away from this ... (read in full...)
If a friend asked you to follow their woman for them would you?
Q. would you stalk someones partner/ex partner for them for money?If it was a friend or relative would you stalk them for free?Would you stalk a complete stranger for someone for money-would you stalk someone for fun-I need to know what percentage of ...
A. 19 October 2009: If a friend or relative I cared about told me that they think they're being cheated, and could I do them a favor and follow their partner for a while... yes, I would do it. It's kind of like what they do in the show "Cheaters." ... (read in full...)
I'm 16 and paranoid. Should I see a doctor?
Q. im 16 and suffering from paranoia which has only recently started, will it get worse? do i need to see a doctor about it? x...
A. 19 October 2009: What kinds of things are you paranoid about? Need more information to advise whether you're probably normal or might need to see a psychiatrist. ... (read in full...)
I'm not that girly, but I want to become more girly.
Q. i'm 16 and in my second year of high school. ok so i'm not that girly, but i want to become more girly. i always wear a black shirt and blue skinny jeans. my shoes are black converse and i wear lots of black eyeliner and my hair is covering one of ...
A. 19 October 2009: If you like your current look, and your clothes reflect you well, don't betray who you really are just to get a guy's attention. It won't make you feel any better about yourself. But if your current look is not really your favorite but you just ... (read in full...)
I think my boyfriend might be gay
Q. Okay, I just need to get to the bottom of this. I'm going crazy-I have suspicions about my bfs' sexuality and have for awhile now. I feel so alone. I am just curious if anyone else has had experience with men lying about their sexuality and if there ...
A. 19 October 2009: When you're out in public, is he looking at the men or is he looking at the women? There's one clue right there.... (read in full...)
My heart still wants him but my head says no...
Q. My ex boyfriend and I have broken up after 2 years. He cheated on me once with his best friend (female) and I forgave him. The second time I found out he was dating her at the same time as me and called it quits. Both times did not involve anything ...
A. 18 October 2009: You say your heart says he's the one for you. But... obviously... he is not the one for you. Look how he has treated you. That part of your heart that is hurting... I'm sorry for that... but you know he's no good for you and you have to leave ... (read in full...)
Do I tell my new boyfriend my ex was abusive?
Q. My ex told me he would hit me if I cheated on him and he forced me to do sexual acts I did not want to. My bf wants to know more about my past relationships and how they ended. Do I tell him? I was also sexually abused and I don't know if that'...
A. 18 October 2009: I think that you should just tell him everything to get it off your chest, and because he asked and wants to know. He should appreciate your honesty, and the fact that you trust him enough to tell him all of this. It is never wrong to tell the ... (read in full...)
Brother and best friend getting married on the same day
Q. Question:What should I do? My best friend is getting married on a Saturday next July. She's had it booked for 4 months. When my brother got engaged, I told them that particular Saturday was "off limits" if possible because my best friend's wedding ...
A. 14 October 2009: Yes, ditto what clariss said. You are DEFINITELY in a tough spot. (I had something similar happen to me, I got married on the exact same day as my cousin. Luckily though we were in two different countries and knew ahead of time that we did not ... (read in full...)
Is it OK to add her to my FB friends list without asking her first?
Q. Hi, right now i like a girl and i dont really talk to her. So i keep thinking if i should add her on my facebook friends list so i/we could talk a lot. But the point is if i should add her without asking or asking first. Whenever i look at her...
A. 14 October 2009: I always thought on Facebook you have to ask someone's permission before you add them. Just ask her if you could add her, say you'd like to get to know her better.... (read in full...)
I need tips and Ideas ASAP!
Q. I just got a few quick questions here and I would love it if you guy's help me out with this one, ok so it's a new school year new people new class, in one of my classes there is this girl I am interested in getting to know her and what not, I ...
A. 14 October 2009: I think the best approach (to most things is life), is the direct approach. No beating around the bush. Just ask her if she has a boyfriend, because you think she is attractive. (Trust me, she won't mind the compliment). If she says no ... (read in full...)
I'm losing interest in my b/f. What can I do to get back "into him"?
Q. Im 20 years old and I'm starting to lose intrest in my boyfriend of 2 years / 4 months. What can I do to try and get back "into him"? He is in college so we cant really go out because he's away. This is his second year of college and the first year ...
A. 14 October 2009: First I want to refer you to an answer I gave a previous question:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/im-getting-bored-with-my-girlfriend--does.html
In your case, though, it is a long distance relationship at the moment, so you need to find crea... (read in full...)
Am I selfish for not wanting to settle down just yet?
Q. hi to all. been a long time since i last checked my dearcupid. i just want your honest opinions and/or comments. im in a gay relationship right now. he's 43 and im 19. we are going for 1 year in december. yes, i am happy with him. we are exclus...
A. 14 October 2009: "he's the perfect guy i'd like to get married to"
Look, I don't think you're selfish at all to do whatever you want to do, and I agree with the other answers that it's not selfish AS LONG AS you don't keep stringing him along, or alternatively, stay... (read in full...)
Is playing hard to get a good thing?
Q. ok what does a guy mean when he says "your playing hard to get"?is that a good thing?...
A. 14 October 2009: Well, if he's telling you you're playing hard to get it's not a good thing. But here's the advice I'll give you and anyone else on this planet for as long as I live. Don't play hard to get. Ever. Act honestly. Life is too short to play games. ... (read in full...)
What should I get my boyfriend for Christmas? Please help
Q. Ok so my boyfriend and I have been dating for over 2 1/2 years now you would think I would know what to get him for Christmas by now. I have read suggestions on other posts and they don't help very much. We live together at college so we share ...
A. 14 October 2009: Gift certificate to a store you know he would appreciate AND a gift basket of non-candy consumables that is traditional for Christmas and likely to appeal to a man: gourmet smoked meats, cheeses, crackers, salsas, nuts, etc. If your man can't ... (read in full...)
Whenever I call my b/f I get his voice mail, never him
Q. Whenever i call my boyfriend i get his voicemail and he only text me back ever once and a while i dont want to seem desperate but i want to show him that i care but how do i do that and how do i make him pay me attention or should i just let it go...
A. 13 October 2009: Well, if he's not answering YOUR phone calls then whose phone calls IS he answering? He's not the one. Move on.... (read in full...)
Should I take full custody of my two year old brother?
Q. I have a 2 year old brother that I have Temp. custody of. I am 18 myself....I'm getting a job, he has medicaid, and I'm going to be going to school online at some point in the future. I want full custody of my brother because my mother is a horrible ...
A. 13 October 2009: I would seriously question the character and integrity of your boyfriends if he is telling you to ignore your little brother and only think about yourself. He's your little brother! I would never be with a guy who would tell me to be blind when my ... (read in full...)
Has he backed off because I said no to sex?
Q. I've known a guy for 3 months and been dating him for just over a month. Three weeks into the relationship he told me he wanted to sleep with me and I told him I wasn't ready. He was ok with that and said he was prepared to wait. Ever since then we ...
A. 12 October 2009: If there's not going to be sex, then he doesn't want to get himself aroused past a certain point. It makes sense. Like the previous answer says. If nothing else has changed except that, then that is your answer right there.... (read in full...)
I am 21 yrs old, living with my parents, and I just hate my life!
Q. I am 21 yrs old, livin with my parents. i just hate my life, i can't go out with my friends everyday, when i am with my friends, so my parents would call me 100 times and send sms 50 times..when i come home late, they will yell at me, my father's ...
A. 11 October 2009: Move out. Period. Your parents are not allowed to treat you like this. You are an adult. Worrying about hurting your parents is the least of your problems. Obviously, your parents are not worrying about how they are hurting you. They just want ... (read in full...)
My boyfriend is trying to finger me while I am asleep. Why is he being so crude?
Q. My boyfriend and I have been together almost a year. We're adults and live in our own places, however we have a situation when it comes to sex. I've recently gained weight and I feel unattractive and insecure. Everytime he tries to initiate sex I ...
A. 10 October 2009: I think I have to stand in defense of the guy on this one. He is your boyfriend and he wants to have sex with you as you have been doing since before you gained weight. But now you seem to be denying him because of your insecurities with your ... (read in full...)
Is my manhood too small?
Q. hey there, i have what some mite say an unusual question. i have been married for two years and although my wife and i have a great sexual relationship i have never been able to make here cum by just having sex. it always takes a little "rubbing". ...
A. 10 October 2009: I will also add that even if many women cannot orgasm reliably to penetration alone, I think that most women CAN LEARN how to do it. It's a matter of taking her time to learn her body. Men always ask the size question in regards to women's orgasms ... (read in full...)
I am really stiff when I try to dance!
Q. Please help me! i'm turning 22 soon but i have never been to a dance/party or any thing as such. I've been pretty much sheltered at home and by my ex who did not want me to hang around other guys. As a result, i don't have many friends, and I h...
A. 10 October 2009: I don't know how to dance either. This used to bother me when I was younger. But now it doesn't bother me at all. Only a segment of the population actually knows how to dance, and then there is a segment that just need learned or gave a rat to ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on vegetarian meals I can have?
Q. I'm a vegetarian and I have an alergy to anything with egg in, I have no idea what to eat because my choices are pretty slim, everyone i date thinks it's weird and that i'm just being awkward. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what meals I can ...
A. 10 October 2009: Also... a really helpful tip for you for when you are eating out is that Asian restaurants, more than any other kinds of restaurants, will have the most vegetarian offerings. Asian means Indian food, Chinese, Japanese, Thai, Korean food etc. So, ... (read in full...)
Any suggestions on vegetarian meals I can have?
Q. I'm a vegetarian and I have an alergy to anything with egg in, I have no idea what to eat because my choices are pretty slim, everyone i date thinks it's weird and that i'm just being awkward. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what meals I can ...
A. 10 October 2009: Actually, your choices are not slim at all but you will have to open up your palate to new and different foods. Do you know about tofu? Hummus? Guacamole? Pasta minus meat? Salads? Cereal with soymilk? Veggie pizza? Do you eat dairy products, or ... (read in full...)
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