A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Writing and speaking with a girl you've just initiated contact with can have different effects. When you write her (online dating), she has preconceived ideas about what most guys are like. So if you write 'You are beautiful' that can come off as lame and boring, e.g. average guy trying to get a hot girl. Yet if you say it in person a certain way, she can be truly flattered.What's the trick to coming off as confident, in writing, about yourself and to her? Reply to this Question
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male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (21 October 2009):
No it's not lame. But instead of just saying she's beautiful, also expain why. Women love to know what it is that makes them beautiful.
A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents  +, writes (21 October 2009):
 Telling a woman she is beautiful is not lame. The only thing you need to change about your writing, is the attitude that you are writing with. Just BE self-confident, and write exactly what you feel. Don't try to lure her in with eloquence if there is nothing to back the eloquence up if she meets you in real life. If you feel awkward this will be projected in everything you do, feel, say, write. The trick is to just be yourself, and to open your heart to her, and if she doesn't like it, well, then screw her. Oh, and by the way, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being awkward either. Trust me, it is a lot more desirable trait in a guy, than if he was arrogant. Awkward, I can deal with and can finding endearing, but arrogant, I wouldn't touch with a ten foot pole, from a woman's perspective.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 October 2009): Paying compliments is lame in our eyes. Women love it. You seem to have pre concieved ideas about what girls like and they are wrong. I doubt if confident writing is very high on any girls lists either. And i dont think theres such a thing as online dating. Online dating sites yes. Just chat till she's ready to meet up offline.
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