A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Please help me!i'm turning 22 soon but i have never been to a dance/party or any thing as such. I've been pretty much sheltered at home and by my ex who did not want me to hang around other guys. As a result, i don't have many friends, and I have zero male friends. Recently, my ex-boyfriend dumped me after 3 years of relationship. Now I want to get out and find myself a better man who appreciates me. I know my first step is to attend social events (i never attended any social events before). There are a few upcoming dances that I want to go to meet people. But i don't know to dance at all, or even socialize if i dont dance. My body is as stiff as a stick, when i try to move it a little, my friend would laugh at me because i look like stupid. I do not want to look stupid. What can I do to at least blend in with the people at the dance. Are there any videos that can teach me a few dance moves, nothing formal or crazy. Just how to move my body is good enough. I'm terrible but I do not want to embarrass myself. I'm wondering if there are any exercises that help me loosen my stiffness. Please help me out. I truly appreciate it. The dance is 3 weeks away, and i'm really worried
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 October 2009): Attending social events, dances and alike, is a really good idea to improve your self-confidence. To get better at dancing you could always take lessons - you could start off with one on one lessons and then when you get more confident start group lessons as well. Also, you don't have to wait until the dance before you put yourself in a social situation where you meet new friends; You could arrange a reunion of the friends you haven't hung with in a while. I did this, I was really nervous at first and scared that even after all the time that had passed and how good our relationships were when we went our separate ways that I wouldn't know what to say but it is freaky wierd how easily everything just slipped into place. I recommend doing this highly as it also gives you something to look forward to at the end of every month or whenever :D
A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (10 October 2009):
 I don't know how to dance either. This used to bother me when I was younger. But now it doesn't bother me at all. Only a segment of the population actually knows how to dance, and then there is a segment that just need learned or gave a rat to try to learn. It really depends on what kinds of social activities you tend to gravitate towards, which determines whether or not you know how to dance. My mom knows how to dance and is a good dancer; when she tried to teach me I was like two left feet, I'm not very bodily coordinated. It used to bother me but now not at all. If I were you I would go to social events even if you don't know how to dance, it's not the end of the world at all. Just say you don't know how to dance, if anyone asks. And when you say it, don't act like it bothers you, because it shouldn't. By all means learn to dance if you can, but don't stress on it, dances always change like fashion, anyway. Fashion, another thing I can't seem to want to wrap my heart around, but that's another story. (I remember a quote by Oscar Wilde, "Fashion is a form of ugliness so terrible, that they have to change it every six months :), but I digress).
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A
male
reader, CaringGuy  +, writes (10 October 2009):
How about taking some dance lessons? That's really the only way to be sure. And relax as well. I can't dance either, but then neither can anyone else I know. If you don't want to take lessons, and you go to the dance, why don't you try asking someone to help you? That would be a gret way of talking to people :). Keep up with the socializing and take your time. It's brilliant that you're getting out and about. Don't be afraid.
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