A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Not a relationship question, but just wondering what my options are. When I started college I was a bright, motivated young woman. I wanted to learn. I wanted to do things. Now I have trouble getting myself to do things sometimes. I just feel unmotivated. Sometimes I care, and sometimes I don't, but it's an overall not caring attitude that I have. It just feels like 1)We're all gonna die anyways 2)Our economy is bad anyways, so it feels like what's the point? All this competition for nothing. Materials, fancy things, cars, Idk I just don't care anymore. Why compete when everything is going downhill anyways? It also feels like I'm in a state of learned helplessness where people are going to do bad things to me and there is nothing that I can do about it? And I guess it feels like my best defense is just not caring. I care about my family and pets, but other than them, I just don't seem to care. I have one more year of college so this is getting to me. I was on Lexapro for a while until it caused me to stop caring, so I stopped taking it and I thought I felt better. Then some months later, I'm just not caring anymore (again) even after having been off the meds. I want to do things sometimes, but I don't want my life to become so structured. It just feels so fake. It's all a front, it's all a show. We try to impress people we don't even like for money and then we die. What's the point? It feels like I'm either about to retreat like a hermit or start speaking my mind and get myself into trouble. I don't think that all of life is bad necessarily, just having trouble motivating myself.
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI wouldn't say it's that far advanced for me, though. I don't feel like life is fake. It's just situations that I've been in with people that cause me to have problems with people. I feel like I don't want to get involved with people sometimes, which is so ironic since I want to help others. I know that people can recognize my humanity. I've worked in jobs where some people were nice to me. I know that this doesn't necessarily mean that they recognized my humanity, but just saying. And I don't really have a problem with the roles. I want to be a teacher someday. I just have a problem with the people I am working with lately. For example, my professor gave me the wrong information about something important dealing with my career, and then she denied it, and her boss called me up asking me what I did wrong? Then my professor brought me to the chair of the department to make me look bad for a mistake that she made. Experiences like this make me not want to deal with people. Oh yeah, let's get dressed up and "pretend" to be professional, but not admit to our mistakes. Which is why I say that I'm eventually going to end up speaking my mind and getting myself into trouble. It's not that I think life is fake. It's that I feel like the people I am around lately are fake, and not fake as in not real,though I do feel that way too sometimes, but fake as in pretending to be perfect for their anal bosses. I'm just tired of dealing with people like that and I feel like those people are always going to be around, so I can either accept it and fight it or just not waste my time and energy and just give up. Of course I won't give up though, because it's not me. I signed up for Peace Corps, so hopefully I will be around some people in REAL need soon, that I can help.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for your input. I will look up that book.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2009): 1) Yep, we're all gonna die. But oddly enough, for a lot of us there's rather a lot of time before that's going to happen.
2) The economy is bad. Yep, it sure is right now. But see number (1) above. The economy wasn't bad a while ago, and it won't be bad a while from now. And anyway, you're saying you don't care about accumulating material things, so what does it matter if the economy is bad?
You're here now. You said you once had things you wanted to do. What's the economy got to do with that if you're not trying to accumulate material nonsense? You don't want a Porsche? Good on ya. You're here, you're intelligent, literate, and thinking. You think making money is a waste of time? Fine. Use your talents elsewhere. Do charity work in your city. Help locals in Africa learn to drill water wells. All other things equal, you have another 60 years on the planet. Just because the economy in your part of the U.S. sucks doesn't mean you can't do anything useful with that 60 years.
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A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (19 October 2009):
 Also, check out a book called "The Survivor Personality" I have not personally read it, but it may possibly be helpful to you.
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A
female
reader, HereAreMyTwoCents +, writes (19 October 2009):
I as well get these thoughts of feeling that life is fake and I am just playing out different roles mandated by society in which no one ever will get to learn the real me, and I always end up misunderstood and hurt. But the flipside of that is that if there wasn't society to define some roles for you, who exactly would you be in the end, anyway? Feeling like that, I think, is something a lot of people go through in life, soul searching, wondering what the meaning of life is, and why life hurts so bad sometimes. You need to find the things that you can be passionate about in life and go with them, and don't look back. You need to use those things as your lifesaver that you hang on to no matter what, in the stormy ocean that is called life. (That's one way to look at it). One thing to remember is that if you continue your negative attitude, you will in the end actually end up exactly where you imagined. So there is no reason to continue feeling this way. It will only lead you to a bad place. Remember a positive attitude makes even the most difficult things possible, while a negative attitude will make life hell even when you're in a bed of roses. If you think that I'm exaggerating, NO I'm not even exaggerating. From my own life experience, this is true. So just cheer up, and try to look for the things that make you happy and hang on to them for dear life, because if you don't do that you can so easily be swept away by all the bad things going on all around you. That is no way to live. Bad things will always keep happening. But so will good things. And that's what you need to focus on.
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