A
female
age
41-50,
*oxxo
writes:[Mod note to poster: could you please clarify your age?]I keep messing up with my boyfriend!We have been dating about 10 months. He loves me a lot. And I care about him more than anything.The problem is I can't concentrate and I am so distracted. And this is making him have doubts about me. He wants me to be successful and he knows I can do it. He says he wants someone as driven as he is. And I am, just when I have a boyfriend it is so hard to think of anything else. I am pushing him away because I keep becoming so emotional.My emotions are overwhelming and taking over. And the only way I know how to get rid of them is run away from him. That is not a solution. All I need to be able to do is focus on school. That's what he wants for me and from me. That's it. I am so jealous because it is so easy for him to concentrate and not see me or hear from me for long periods of time. I start to get antsy though and my insides hurt. I don't know how to shut him out to get done what I need to. It scares me. And it's not shutting him out as in ignoring him, it's just putting him out of my head.I am just scared I am going to lose him. But this fear and what it is doing to me is going to make me lose him and very quickly too. I am running out of time to get this down. My grades are beginning to turn into C's and not A's. This is really scaring me.I just want to focus ;(help!
View related questions:
jealous, period Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, empop +, writes (19 April 2010):
Many women are more affected by their relationship status than men are (for instance, women are more likely to have health problems and visit the doctor than men are when their relationships are upset.)
Additionally, your boyfriend is not helping the situation - his demanding proof that you are as driven as him (in grades) is just stressing you out more and, undoubtedly, making it even harder for you to concentrate.
Often, I find a good way of ridding excess emotion is with exercise or meditation. It may take a while to kick in, but perhaps if you meditate like 15 minutes a day you will find it easier to be more balanced? Or, you can try to burn off some of your excess energy with exercise.
But, perhaps the best thing to remember though is that one semester of bad grades probably won't kill you. I had a semester like that in college myself, and still managed to graduate as a member of the honor society. Just accept that you need a little more time right now - step down the responsibility if possible. If there's a class you can drop without hurting your future ambitions, perhaps you should drop it. It's not about not being driven, it's just about accepting that you are human and you have to take it easy sometimes.
I'll never forget when I was in high school - I was training for two sports and studying for my AP exams. I would leave the house at 5 am, and get back at 8pm and do my homework until like midnight. My Dad told me that I had to step down all the stuff I was doing or I would fail at it all. I didn't believe him, but he was right - I was like a zombie. Sometimes, you have to just tune down the intensity for the sake of your long term accomplishments.
|
