A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My brother is 11 and we were very close before I had to take guardianship of him because of our mom's alcohol/drug abuse. I'm finding it really hard because he gets upset at me now because I'm having to set rules and be the "parent". He says that I've changed and he doesn't listen to/respect me or my rules and I really don't have that many.How do I be a good "mother" to him yet still also be his sister as I don't want to lose that Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): u can never act mother to ur brother.. just be a loving yet strict sister.
strict doesn't mean to have rules on him.. just know the different between playful and serious.. and explain to him (the way a kid would understand) on certain action u are taking. be rational with him..
by the way, to be a parent is never easy.. kids usually hate their parent for caring and hating them whenever they are not..
good luck.. better get some sort of support here..
A
female
reader, StephanieLOL  +, writes (19 April 2010):
 Don't set him too many rules! He's 11.
Let him learn from his mistakes, at the end of the day, he's only young - he has his whole life ahead of him. He does need a motherly figure, but you can still be that, while being his sister too! Maybe you could even try to be one of his friends... :).
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reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2010): You can't be a good mother to him. you're his sister. he a sister with authority. don't tie too many rules on him. he is only 11. he needs someone to trust, not someone to play mom. he has gone through enough damage don't you think?
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A
female
reader, empop +, writes (19 April 2010):
That's a tough situation.Your relationship with him will never be what it was before, so I think you should focus on making the best out of it now. Just because you have to take on a parental role doesn't mean that you can't still be close to him, or that your new relationship will be less rewarding. But, it will change and you need to embrace that before you can fully appreciate how good your new relationship can be.As for being thrust into parenting - that's hard. Most people with kids that age have 11 years of parenting experience. Perhaps you could find a support group for people in a similar situation, or young single moms?The time may come that your brother will appreciate the merits of having a parental figure who is closer to his own age. You both just need time to adjust.Good luck!
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