A
female
age
26-29,
*djc?
writes:so im not sure what to think, my fwbs (friend with beniffets) he is a player, and i didnt mean to get involed with someone like him, but now i am. and as times gone on, ive realized it not enough for him, he can never get enough. its scary, he has to hook up with someone or he gose just about insane. and i was talking to another girl about it and she brought up the possbility of him being abused, sexualy. it would make a lot of things make sense, he in her words is obbsessed with it, not like a normal 14 year old player. its so much worse, and he seem to have a inffactionation with doing it in the butt, im not sure how many times hes ask me to and ive declied and he wud get mad at me. maybe its just me but what do you think?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (11 April 2010): You're 14... what the heck are you doing engaging in this sort of activity in the first place?Until you reach 16, you have no place engaging in anything more than private masturbation.Leave the sex to the adults.Flynn 24
A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (11 April 2010):
 It's a little scary how little control you seem to have over your own life, how badly hurt you could get and you don't seem to realize it.
You didn't mean to get involved yet here you are. There's a reason age of consent laws are in place. They are there to prevent children like you from making mistakes like this. Because you don't know enough about life yet and most likely will wind up with one or more STIs, possibly a pregnancy, minor but preventable anal tears, 30 years from now cervical cancer due to HPV.
You're more likely to wind up with an abuser, yourself, and the way you've described this boy, I think you already are.
It is an interesting theory this girl has proposed, you know. It is possible. Now let's take that logic, that someone who has been abused becomes an abuser himself. So if you are 'hooking up' with an abuser, you too then are being abused. Then perhaps you too will become an abuser.
People get distorted notions about their place in life, I think. They sell themselves short, they underestimate their value. There's a self-destructive path that you have started on, and it would be wonderful if you could see it before you do permanent damage. Change now and extricate yourself from this 'relationship' with a damaged boy.
Please be better to yourself than you have been, okay?
Take care.
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A
female
reader, empop +, writes (11 April 2010):
I'm not sure what this boy's past is like, but you are putting a lot of time and energy obsessing about him and I don't think it's good for you.
He could have a dark past, or he could just be horny, 14, and a jerk.
Either way, if any boy every gets angry at you for refusing to do something you're uncomfortable with (like he does when he asks to do it in the butt) it's unacceptable and you should leave the situation. (If he's polite when you say no, then it's ok.)
I know it sucks, because he's probably hot and stuff, but you should probably stop hooking up with him. Keep your eyes peeled for a hot guy who's not a jerk.
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