A
female
age
30-35,
*llineedistime
writes:Lately, I've been really worried about my boyfriend. I feel like I have an unfounded fear... a couple of weeks ago I tried to break up with him and after I started talking to him I realized that he really does love me when previously I had been doubtful. The reason is that we are long distance, and he is a pretty shy and quiet guy. He doesn't like to talk on the phone because he feels pressured to fill silences and he really is just a shy person. However, when we are actually together we always have great talks and he is the sweetest boyfriend I have ever had. I really do love him, and I was wrong for thinking what I thought a few weeks ago. However, since then I have been kind of paranoid. Upon realizing how much I don't want to lose him, I've started overanalyzing things that before would never have bothered me. I wonder why he is being unresponsive to me when before I would have just known that it wasn't personal. I don't know what to do... help?
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female
reader, allineedistime +, writes (22 November 2009):
allineedistime is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWe're both seventeen, and he's only an hour away. We usually get to see each other about once a week. He knew I was trying to break up with him, and he told me that he understands what I was saying and he wanted to work things out and now we're fine. I just worry that sometimes he is bored with me and I really don't want to break up because he makes me really happy when we are actually together.
A
male
reader, shadowassassin  +, writes (21 November 2009):
 hey =] just a couple of questions before my answer.
how old is he? how far are we talking about? and how often do you meet? and finally, when you tried to break up with him, did you tell him/did he figure out you were trying to break up with him? or does he still not know.
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A
female
reader, empop +, writes (21 November 2009):
Unfortunately, in a relationship, sometimes love just isn't enough. It is very difficult to be in a long distance relationship with someone who doesn't do phone calls.I think that you are interpreting a different sort of unhappiness as "paranoia." It makes you unhappy that you cannot communicate with your boyfriend as much as you would like when you are apart. You attribute it to paranoia, when actually it is likely just dissatisfaction with the current state of your relationship.You need to talk with your boyfriend, explain to him that you need phone calls (even if you just sit there silently for a bit, sometimes it's just nice to have the "presence" of another person on the line.) If he can't commit to the things you need to be happy in a long distance relationship, unfortunately, you'll probably need to move on. When a relationship is making you unhappy more than it's making you happy, it's time to end it.
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