A
female
age
51-59,
*abysweet
writes:I feel the exact same way.I have been with my husband for 21 years now and married for 15,I also linked in to see his history and my husband is looking at shemale porn everyday,I even found out that befor we made love while i was in the shower he was looking at shemale porn,I feel so offended,that he had to see that in order to be with me.We had a very active sex life playing all kinds of roles,i even put a strap on for him and I had even dressed like a man per his request,he dressed as a woman and i was not atracted to this at all,I told him how i felt and yet he did it a few more times.we used to watch porn together but now he is going behind my back.he is always talking about having a threesom or four some with a shemale and a feminine gay guy,I dont know what to do.I just feel nothing but bile right now,He also had previously had internete conversations with 4 different females over the corse of 2 years.I left him but always came back I feel this is cheating he had intimate conversations even got really close to one to the point he was going to leave to be with her.He used to be conservitive now hes on the balance of gothic says he dosent belive in GOD i am cristian.help i dont know what to do is he gay? an internete whore???
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female
reader, empop +, writes (11 April 2010):
So, gay men are attracted to men, not to shemales. Shemales tend to attract straight guys who also have a thing for a little dick sometimes (hence, the strap ons.) So, I don't think he's gay.
For what it's worth, I personally would not be that upset about most of the things you've just listed. I don't consider internet chats cheating (although, I might feel a bit jealous anyway), I wouldn't be upset by an attraction to shemales, and I don't mind taking a guy in the ass with a strap on. So, if you feel bad because you feel dirty or gross from any of this stuff - it's ok, lots of women encounter the same thing from the people we date.
However, I don't want to diminish your sense of lost trust, because that's very important. I think one of the best things for you to do would be to go and see a sex positive therapist with your husband to talk about your trust issues.
Also, just some food for thought, I used to be very resentful of my boyfriends sexual fantasies because I heavily repressed my own. Perhaps you feel upset because there's all this talk about turning HIM on, and not enough about YOU. Maybe it would help if you started talking to your husband more about your fantasies (even if you don't masturbate to them, they still count) . A good book for this is "Mating in Captivity" if you're interested.
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